Would you like to get an expensive Christmas present this year but you’re not sure how to go about it? Here are two different approaches you might consider. Approach #1 is the one used by my husband. Approach #2 is the one I use.
Approach #1: Relentless Hounding and Hint Dropping
Using techniques appropriated from professional torturers, this method involves a constant and unrelenting campaign that will eventually beat your target into submission. Hypothetically, suppose you wanted a digital SLR camera for Christmas. Here are some things you might do.
Note: Although the examples provided below feature a digital SLR camera, you can substitute any expensive item you want for Christmas.
- Constantly mention how much easier life would be if only you had a digital SLR camera. Be sure to work it into every conceivable conversation with your wife. For example: Every time you take a photo, remark how long it takes for the flash to recharge and how it doesn’t do that on a digital SLR camera. Point out how the photo you just took is a little blurry because you don’t have a digital SLR camera with image stabilization. Casually comment how the photos recently sent to you by someone with a digital SLR camera are so much sharper than your own photos because a digital SLR camera has 12 megapixels. Point out how beautiful a sunset is and how a digital SLR camera could capture the true colors and feeling of that sunset.
- Strategically leave open web pages that feature the digital SLR camera you want on the computer you share with your wife. If she sees it and asks you whether she can quit out of that page, casually mention how you were just checking prices and there was an amazing deal on digital SLR cameras on Amazon.
- Constantly stop on the television commercial that features the digital SLR camera you want for Christmas, even though you have a DVR and the point of a DVR is that you can skip commercials. If your wife seems oblivious to the commercial because she is working on her blog, rewind the commercial and play it again but at a higher volume.
- Have a sudden epiphany about the strict budget that your family has been adhering to and how life is too short to worry about money. Movingly talk about how the family has done good at minimizing debt but that you don’t want to live your life feeling like you can’t get a few small items that would enhance your life greatly, like a digital SLR camera.
Approach #2: Feigned Stupidity, Manipulation and Blackmail
Allow your husband’s campaign to get a digital SLR camera run its course until you can’t take it anymore. Relent and tell him he can get the camera for Christmas. Tell him that you want him to be happy and fulfilled more than anything in the world. Tell him to go ahead and purchase the camera right away so that he can take advantage of the price break he found on Amazon. Wait until he gets his digital SLR camera and then ask for the expensive Kindle that you’ve been eyeing. (Note: A Kindle is a really cool wireless book reader.) If he gives you any trouble at all, mention how it is completely unfair for him to get an expensive camera and you get nothing. Remind him that the budget restrictions were lifted. Purchase your Kindle.