Sure, it was great to whip out my little imaginary phone and call Santa to report naughtiness whenever it suited my needs. And it is a powerful tool for staving off the “I want that’s” at stores (“Maybe Santa will bring it for Christmas, honey.”).
But now he is a Believer in the Big Guy. (I swear he thinks The Polar Express movie is a documentary!) And the Big Guy is magic and can do all kinds of amazing things…things that aren’t possible in the real world. The real world where this Santa Claus is doing her best to try and come through for the Little One on Christmas morning against some increasingly difficult odds.
Problem 1: The Little One believes Santa can make any toy that his little head dreams up. After all, Santa’s elves make the toys themselves…they are not limited to what you can buy at a toy store! The Little One has in his head that Santa will be bringing him a working trash truck complete with tiny little cans and actual tiny little trash bags. Such a trash truck does not exist as far as I can tell — or, if it does, this Santa is NOT going to $75 for it!
The Little One also believes Santa will be bringing the remainder of the Kung Fu Panda Happy Meals toys that he doesn’t have already because he wasn’t into Kung Fu Panda when McDonald’s had this promotion! If anyone has Tigress, Viper, Monkey or Kung Fu Panda McDonald’s Happy Meal toys that you want to get rid of, this Santa will be happy to take them off your hands!
Problem 2: The Little One doesn’t see why it is a problem to keep changing his Christmas list. After all, Mommy and Daddy can just call Santa up with their little imaginary phone and keep him updated on the Little One’s ever-changing list. We thought it was nailed down earlier in the month and went out and got the items on the list. Then this week at school they wrote a letter to Santa that will answered by Santa (AKA 7th graders in a nearby school). And I’m sure the response will say “Absolutely I will bring you the Build-A-City playset, school playset and tiny working garbage truck you asked for.” So this Santa is doing a frantic reorganizing of gifts — complete with returns, exchanges, and new purchases with expedited shipping because time is running out. Then yesterday he decides he WILL sit on Santa’s lap and adds in a soft football (what???!!! since when did you want a soft football, Little One!!!???) and Wall-E figurines. He’s killing me!
Problem 3: The Little One has an unreasonable expectation of how many gifts Santa will be able to bring him. Again, because of magic, the Little One believes Santa has no limit on the amount of gifts he can bring the Little One. “How many gifts do you think Santa will bring, honey” we asked him, trembling at the answer. “Oh…about 10 or 15, I think,” said the Little One blithely. “You mean … like 2 big gifts and 8 little gifts — like Matchbox Cars?” we asked, hoping and praying. “Oh no… little gifts go in stockings. I think 10 big gifts will be under the tree,” the Little One replied. Well, on Christmas morning, I suspect the Little One might feel a little let down by the Big Guy as far as quantity … but at least 2 of the 3 big gifts and many little smaller gifts will be waiting. And I’m sure this will be enough…after all, he totally forgot how he wanted a pogo stick … but this Santa didn’t! And it will be waiting for him under the tree on Christmas morning.