Reality TV – The Best Show For Me
by Jenners • 12/04/2008 • Writers Workshop • 22 Comments
It is time for another Writers Workshop over at MamaKat’s totally excellent and fun blog. This time, I’m choosing the prompt:
But there are classy and good reality shows out there…yes, there are! That is not an oxymoron! You can find a lot of them on Bravo, and then there are some of the long-running ones that really aren’t too bad. (I’m NOT talking about you Big Brother…you lost me at Season 3!) So which one should I star in? Let’s find out!
Top Chef – Well, this is out as I can’t cook to save my life and I’m not a foodie. We eat a lot of those SteamFresh bagged vegetables at my house — as well as things that you can boil in water. My idea of baking is to follow the directions on the box, and I don’t have a signature dish. I love this show, but pretty much everything they make sounds unappetizing to me. And I have no idea what half the terms mean: Chiffonade, Reduction, Demi-Glace, Emulsion, Roulade, Roux. It sounds like Greek to me! They say “Ragout” and I say “Stew” so I’m not a viable candidate for this one. (By the way, did you know Padma used to be married to Salman Rushdie?)
Project Runway — This is one of my favorite reality shows. You can always count on a flamboyant and entertaining cast, fun challenges, you can subjectively judge the results yourself (unlike Top Chef) … and who doesn’t love Tim Gunn? Unfortunately, I can’t sew worth a darn and I have zero fashion sense. (Shocking Confession: Most of my clothes come from Target or Wal-Mart. I think that alone would disqualify me from the show.) When I was in Girl Scouts, I had to sew a skirt to get my sewing badge, and it fell apart on me the first time I tried it on. So I’m not a viable candidate for this show either.
Shear Genius — Yet another Bravo reality show … this one hosted by ex-Charlie’s Angel Jaclyn Smith and focused on hair stylists. Always a flamboyant cast and, again, you can easily judge which haircuts you like. Plus there is the very strange-looking master colorist Kim Vo and the hilarious-sounding Rene Fris (my husband does the best imitation!) for comedic relief. But again, all my attempts to cut hair have ended badly and with emergency trips to a real hair stylist. I even attempted to do home haircuts for the Little One. I mean, how hard could it be? You just get one of those little clipper kits and go to it. Well, he ended up looking like he had some kind of scalp disease or lost a fight with a lawnmower. So this show is out too.
Survivor — I was a faithful watcher for the first five seasons and then tuned out for the next 10 or so. But I’m back to watching this year and loving it! At least it isn’t completely predictable as they are blindsiding people left and right. But I doubt I would do good on this show for the following reasons: I completely fall apart if I miss a meal. I can’t even pick up a bug let alone eat one. I have no physical stamina. I’m slow. I’m a terrible liar. I’m not a good strategist. Basically I’d be a dismal failure on this show — even though I do have my very own Survivor buff! (They’ll let anyone with $20 buy one!)
So that brings us to my absolute all-time favorite reality show — The Amazing Race! I’ve watched every single season of this show, and the only real misstep has been the Family Edition, which was really lame. I like that they switch things up, and you can never really predict what is going to happen from week to week. I love when the strongest teams get eliminated unexpectedly and weak teams go so much further than they should. (It is a friggin’ miracle that Dandrew are in the FINALS this season!) Finally, I believe I am eminently qualified to be on this show for the following reasons:
- Have a significant other to run the race with? Check. My husband and I would be the team.
- Ability to bicker and fight with partner? Check. We bicker and fight all the time but still manage to stay married so the race wouldn’t tear us apart.
- Love to travel? Check. I would so love to travel around the world.
- Ability to follow directions? Check. So many teams falter because they don’t read the clues and follow the directions but we would.
- Attention to detail? Check. No way would my team leave our passports and money in the taxi like Dallas and Toni last week. My husband and I are so OCD about checking for stuff like that.
- Ability to conquer fears? Check. For the $1 million dollar prize, I would be able to overcome my fear of heights in a second.
So bring it on, Phil Keoghan! I’m ready for the Amazing Race! Now I just need someone to watch the Little One for a month or so and we’re off!
Project Runway is one of my faves! But MAN it would be stressful to be on that one!!
My husband, son and I all love the Amazing Race! We’ve often wondered how we would do on it. After watching Tony and Dallas this year, my ten year old son thinks he’d like to try it with me when he’s older…
Love reading your post, you always make me smile.
Heather’s M
Oh, there’s so much I want to say!! It looks like to me that your Target and Wal-mart duds may work just fine based on some of the things they wear on Project Runway. You just have to wear them in a way they weren’t intended and you’ll be set! Sheer Genius – seriously, what is up with the way Kim Vo looks? The Amazing Race is my favorite! I cannot believe Dandrew is in the final three. Really. They left their shoes behind for goodness sakes! Okay, go shake it and make it work!
I don’t know any of them (I live a sheltered life and maybe they don’t make it to Australia anyway) but once you are in them they are reality: go for it and good luck!
Why is it so hard for Dandrew to march without looking like A.) Total idoits, or B.) like they are in pain? Did you see the “real” army totally laughing their behinds off at them! Love the next post on the ornaments!
Great job with the assignment. I love Project Runway and Survivor, but I would go on either.
That does sound like fun! And I’ll admit to watching my Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. And I secretly liked it. That’s when I knew the reality shows had to stop, and I was done
Ever thought about really trying out for it?
LOL!!
I picked this one too!
I have yet to see this show ( I am not too much of a Realty TV junkie) but you make it sound cool!
Awesome post!! In junior high I had to sew a shirt for Home Economics and accidentally sewed the sleeve onto the neck hole. That was the last time I picked up fabric that wasn’t already shaped into it’s desired result! lol
And if your husband backs out of Amazing Race, I would be your partner!!
I LOVE TOP CHEF. I’ve watched ever season. I wish I cuold do the stuff they do. I love that show and Project Runway. So good. I wish I could amek th ethings the people on those shows can.
I, too, am completely hooked on reality tv. Probably the only one I could be a good candidate for is Big Brother. Any idiot can get on that show!!
First – the shows you mentioned that you watched the entire runs of in the beginning of your post … I may have heard about 1 or 2 of these shows (My wife is addicted to reality shows like T.O. is addicted to the camera).
Second – I am a HUGE Top Chef fan (the only real reality show I watch)! And, I am SO with you on the cooking terms … I think I would hate a reduction, because I don’t like it when things are taken away … I would be much more excited to try an “addition.” I told my wife, I won’t go to any restaurant that features entrees that are glazed, braized or any other words that don’t entice me (Fried is a good one).
My hubby wants to be on the amazing race. The travelling would be wonderful, but some of the challenges I just don’t think that I would be good at.
A girl after my own heart, I LVOE reality shows but I think they aren’t as good as they used to be lol! Now what ever happened to Asia the new PussyCat Doll? I don’t see her with the group ever.
I would pick Amazing Race also because I LOVE to travel. It would be an amazing race hahahaha!
this is great! i have often thought of how much i love proj runway & design star but know that i'm soooo not qualified!
you should apply to the amazing race…you never know!
I’ll watch them, go win a million! I am a closet reality TV watcher. My husband thinks they are all lame, though I will give him credit he has watched Idol and So you Think Can Dance.
I don’t watch reality TV (except for How to Look Good Naked, as I always needs tips in that area) but based on what I know about the shows out there, Amazing Race is the only one I’d do. Well, I’d totally do How to Look Good Naked… if it wasn’t on television. But then it would just be reality and not a reality show, which defeats the purpose of this post… and this comment… so I’ll shut up now.
Ahhh, a fellow reality show junkie. Nice. Glad to see I’m not alone. I’ve watched all of them— the good, the bad and the ugly (like Rock of Love, Flavor of Love and I Love New York. All truly terrible television, yet it lures you in somehow.)
I actually considered trying out for Survivor a couple years ago. I just can’t decide if I could handle it. I don’t think I could be strategic enough to stab people in the back. I’d be all, “But he’s my friend…”
A fabulous post for this prompt… Really funny. Loved the line about bickering with your spouse… and the fact the you live near Exit 4 !! Yours is a very pretty blog. Thanks for visiting mine. (I’ll be back.)
I’m a reality tv junkie too! I can’t get enough of the nonsense. It’s mindless entertainment and so fun. I’ll be looking for your debut on the Amazing Race one of these days.
My husband thinks I am a reality show junkie too but I think you got me beat
Did you ever watch Temptation Island…that one was by far my favorite.
I think that Amazong race would be fun too. My SIL in actually going through the process of trying to get on it. The things you can do when you don’t have kids.