Fun and Games with Jenners – Game 1: Bad Writing
by Jenners • 02/16/2009 • Fun and Games • 35 Comments
Last week I created a meme.
Now I’m ready to launch a Mr. Linky-based interactive game.
Next week I take over the Internet, and my quest for world domination will be complete.
Just kidding…but I was just thinking it would be fun to host a game every so often and to invite you all to play with me. This is also my attempt to expand my blogging skills by creating a button (see lame attempt below) and to use Mr. Linky’s Magical Widgets.
Unlike other regular participatory things, my games will only appear sporadically and will not have a set day. You can join in when you are ready to play. However, I think I will only run each game for two weeks or so. We’ll see how it goes; I’m kind of making this up as I go along.
So, now ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado, I bring you:
(The official button that you might or might not be able to copy onto your own blog.)
Game 1: Bad Writing
(AKA My Tribute to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest)
Here are some examples of past entries that I particularly liked:
“It was a nice day and cheerful Nellie busily dried the breakfast dishes in the nice kitchen.” -by Nancy J. Brousseau
“I mean, they were kind of mellow times, but not exactly state-of-the-art times, if you follow.” -by Peter Schermerhorn
“I watched in helpless horror as the monster clawed its way up the TV tower and wondered what could be in the mutated genes of these Alaskan king crabs which caused them to snatch only Canadian aircraft from the sky.” -by Walter J. Murphy
“The dark can be scary, thought Todd, if you’re young, impressionable, intoxicated, out of gas, naked, and are forced to sit on vinyl seats.” -by Rix Quinn
“Since I’m the all-knowing Private “I” (Eye-ha,ha!) in this novel mystery, I’m telling you, the reader, who the killer is right now so you can enjoy knowing who he is as you read along; it’s Twoddy Tworf (the Morpeth Dwarf). -by Lucy Lightbody
“Only one front wheel of the shopping cart turned; the other was frozen by dried egg yolk.” -by Peggy Bishop
“With as little energy and as much false hope as a lobster kept alive in a restaurant window, Peter Richards awoke and did his few small meaningless exercises.” -by Don Austin
Hopefully those examples give you an idea of what this game is about. Basically, just write the worst opening sentences to a fake book that you can think of. The dumber, the better. Your “fake book” could be from any genre: mystery, romance, sci-fi, fantasy, children’s literature. Feel free to write more than one if you get inspired — or even to make up the name of the fake book.
When you have completed your bad sentences, you can share them with others by posting it to your blog and linking to the Mr. Linky at the end of this post. This way, everyone can go around and see what everyone has come up with. I will also try to collect all entries and put them in a post when the game is done. It might help to have an “end date,” so be sure to link up your post no later than February 28th.
So, to get us going, here is what I came up with.I never realized I didn’t like peanut butter until I tried peanut butter yesterday.
– From “Me and Peanut Butter: A Short History”My eight pretty cats are Mr. Snuggle Wigglewams, Miss Princess Prissy Peapot, Mr. Jack Snookiebottoms, Mr. Timothy Tuttlebottom, Miss Meowy Meowykins, Mr. Cuddlebottoms the Third, Miss Amanda Purrypurrpurr and Joe.
– From “Adventures with Cats”I like peas and carrots because I like vegetables. I like vegetables in stew. Vegetables in water. Vegetables in butter. Vegetables in meat. Vegetables in noodles. Vegetables in bread.
– From “Bubba Gump’s Vegetable Cookbook”The yellow sun rose up behind the big mountains, and the brown cows chewed the green grass in the big field of the large farm that had a red barn.
–From “A Fun Day At the Large Farm with the Red Barn”If you want to have a fun and exciting time, you should go to Spain. I hear it is nice there. I saw a show about it one time.
–From the “The Couch Potato Travel Guide”
So what can you come up with? I can’t wait to see! Link up with your post by February 28th in Mr. Linky below.
Okay, I did it! I realized, in the midst of feeling totally uncreative, that it doesn’t really matter how bad mine are, because that’s the point. Haha.
Oh my goodness you are too funny!
Dear Jenners – this was so much fun! I haven’t stopped laughing… Thanks for doing this!
I would love to do this- I need to remind myself to do so, so, uh, remind me if I don’t get it done by next week. I love your examples.
OK, I’m in. Check ‘em out! I hope they’re awful!
OK – I’ve done it! Written some terrible things and have now linked to you. Thanks for such a fun game!
Thanks for doing this. What fun!
I love this game. I hope I can come up with something good at being bad
Brilliant idea! Must get round to playing… especially now with my mushy pea brain due to a bad cold..
Hey – This is funny!!! I can’t pu;; up your button though. Anyone else have this problem?
Thanks for stopping by and seeing my sentence.
Hi Jenners – Thanks for visiting my blog!! Hope you like my entry!
Yeah, I think your internet domination is right around the corner, lady! I mean that! This is GREAT! I think I will try this, although it won’t be “try” so much as “do” since I’m pretty sure it won’t take much effort for me to come up with some really bad first lines. Heck, I probably have some in some notebooks in my garage.
BTW, I know Angela from The Office wrote “Adventures With Cats”, don’t be trying to scam that from her!
Wow – great idea! And I like your new slideshow and widget thingy!
I gave it my best shot, tell me what you think. I aspire to reach your level of Bad Writing! hehehe
Blessings!
Oh, this is so hilariously funny.. I’m in!! And I must say that is the coolest widget ever, the scrolling awards. Brilliance!
Hmm, I’ll have to think on this.
Sounds like fun though, I’ll love reading them even if I don’t write.
That’s funny! And I love the button for it!
I’m doing this but you gotta give me a few.
Where do you come up with this sh*t? And I mean that in a good way
They are so dang funny!!!
“Sadly, Estelle closed the door against Myron’s pinched face, knowing that the refusal of his mother’s hamantaschen, which he held in his hands like a foil-wrapped bouquet, would seal their doomed relationship forever.”
Thanks for the fun and games.
This is a GREAT idea! I am LOL…and TOTALLY in!
Cute idea!! Love it! I might attempt this one later if I need a creative diversion from work.
And good luck with the whole “internet domination” thing!!
Good luck with your games. I hope the world campaign goes well.
“The typewriter hit the wall in much the same way that a sock full of porridge doesn’t.” A short history of my dummy spits, by JC Newbery.
This does sound like fun! Now I’ll have to be creative.
Yay! I’ll play along
I just have to think a minute…lol
Sounds like fun…I will try to come up with as much ‘Literary Garbage’ as I can between now and then.
just checking in to clickity click!
=)
I love this idea! I’m going to have to think of some good ones. Love it!
I can’t wait to do this! I love activities like this; you and Mama Kat have been pushing my creative limits lately, and I’m lovin’ it!
I love ALL of these! I think this is a great idea. Unfortunately, it might be TOO great for my simple, uncreative, in-the-middle-of-finals-week mind.
For the record, though, I totally had a good one until Lucy Lightbody stole my idea by telling the ending to the story in the first sentence! Damn you, Lucy Lightbody!!! Garble.
Love your first sentences! And your button is great. I’ll be back to play once some bad ideas coagulate in my brain.
I have to put this as “unread” in my google reader so I can come back and do this! What fun! I don’t think anyone can beat your examples though… especially the peanut butter one!
OH my gosh, you completely cracked me up with those! You are such a riot!
Sounds like fun, but can we poor, lowly, ungifted amateurs come close to the level of putrescence shown by the past winners of the contest. I think not!
I’m in if I can get the time and inspiration.