Camping Adventures
by Jenners • 03/05/2009 • Life, Writers Workshop • 32 Comments
Time for another Writer’s Workshop hosted by Mama Kat. Part of the fun of doing these workshops is visiting all the other posts and seeing how differently everyone handles the same prompts. I suspect this week will be quite a mixed bag as there were lots of attractive prompts to choose from. However, due to my father’s lifelong need to drag us camping at every opportunity, I am pretty much obligated to choose:
3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.
I have such a wealth of camping mishaps that it isn’t even funny, including:
- a snipe hunt where I actually caught something
- the time we were setting up our tent in the pouring rain and eating soup that never emptied because the rain kept filling the bowls up
- the time a skunk went through our camp trash and we caught him eating out of a can of beans and became hysterical laughing (you know … because skunks stink and beans make you toot?)
- the time my friend and I were asked to move our tent in the middle of the night by the ranger because we were camping in a forbidden area
- the time I ate a half pound of grapes and pooped my pants on a hike (well, you heard that one already).
But why not start at the beginning with my very first camping trip? The one that pretty much set the tone for all trips to follow.
My Introduction to Camping — Setting the Stage for Lifetime of Avoidance
At age 9, I went on my first camping trip with my mom and dad. Not content to just take me on a simple overnight trip, my father — who would come to be known as “Death on the Trail” within the family — signed us up for a 3-day odyssey that involved hiking, whitewater canoeing and whitewater rafting. Way to ease me into it, Dad!
The first day was OK until it began to rain, the temperature began to drop, and the hiking trail started to go up, up and up. Miserable, uncomfortable and exhausted, I began to despise my father. The only way I survived was picking out the M&Ms from our GORP (a trail mix known as “Good Old Raisins and Peanuts”). When we finally stopped for the evening, I wolfed down my food and collapsed into the tent I was sharing with my mom. There was some concern that the heavy rain would cause the river we were camping by to overflow, but our guide thought it would be OK.
Sometime during the night, I woke up and experienced darkness like I have never seen before or since. It was so completely black that I began to panic — I couldn’t see ANYTHING — not even my hand when I touched my face. This type of darkness was beyond frightening — it was like the dark was a tangible thing that has swallowed me up. I don’t know if you’ve ever camped and experienced such darkness, but it is mighty freaky.
The next morning, we hiked to the starting point for the whitewater canoeing. Keep in mind that this was my first time canoeing EVER! Never one to do anything half-assed, my father was keen to have me experience real live rapids — maybe even a Class 4, he crowed! Because of my age, I was with the guide in his canoe (thank the Lord or I don’t think I would be alive to write about this today). Everything went pretty well until one lady in our group broke her ankle (she was on her honeymoon!) and had to be carried out. Because of this emergency, the guide decided we would do one last rapid and call it a day.
The last rapid was the fastest yet — and keep in mind that the river was running high because of the rain the previous day. You had to navigate your canoe through a series of fast-running rapids — avoiding rocks throughout. The end involved shooting off a small waterfall (about 3 to 4 foot high) and ending up in the river below. The guide reviewed our safety procedures with us before we went in the event that we capsized — follow the flow of the river, do not struggle, climb onto a rock, and don’t panic.
The guide took me and my mother down together. The whole ride down was a blur until the end when we shot off the waterfall and capsized. I remember that I didn’t panic — I let myself bob to the surface and faced downstream. I saw a huge rock so I climbed on top of it. Meanwhile, my mother was floating downstream screaming for me. Scared out of my mind, I couldn’t find my voice to call to her. However, the guide saw me perched on the rock and told me to stay there — he would come back down and get me.
Well, the guide tried about four or five times to get to me but each time was a failure — mostly because to get to the rock I was on, you would have to bring the canoe to a dead-stop after rocketing off the waterfall. Eventually, everyone realized it couldn’t be done so they told me to climb back in the river and float down to my parents.
Although there was another day of whitewater rafting to go, my mother made my dad take us home — and we both gave him the silent treatment all the way back.
And he wondered why it took me another 3 years before I (or anyone else in my family) agreed to go camping with him again.
that’s quite the camping experience!! Have you ever done water rafting again??
That was so F***IN sweet! Not the part about your sh**ty camping trips, the part you said about me. Thank you!
You’re a braver woman than I am. Terribly allergic to camping.
You have definitely had some interesting camping experiences! Ours pale in comparison. I have experienced that dark you described, but it was in my grandmother’s rural country home. And it was terrifying!
Glad you survived the whole fiasco!
So, when are you going to tell us about the time your Dad took you on hiking along a beach called the Sahara Desert? Geez, that’s some hair raising fun, Jen. I think you would have to add a ‘zero’ behind the the three for the next time I would camp.
—Lane
GORP. You’re the only person I’ve ever heard call it that besides my parents.
Hows this for a camping story. When we were pretty little – before age 10 maybe? Every time we’d go camping we walk around sunday morning and pick up aluminum cans. By the end of one summer (we camped probably 3 weekends a month) we had enough cans to cash them in and buy a canoe. pretty dang cool I thought.
Your snippets had me LMAO! But thats a pretty scary first time camping story, your Dad was either brave or foolhardy. No wonder it took another 3 years to go. Great story.
Jenners! Only you can go from heart stopping waterfall drama to “read the blogger with the dildos” in one post!!! LOL! I LOVE YOU!
I was on the edge of my seat! I would never go camping again! Septembermom is right! A camp series is right up your alley!
You certainly have had some entertaining camping trips! ANd I’m just jealous that you started camping so young! I had never camped until I took my kids!
First of all, a snipe hunt? What’s a snipe? Does it bite?
Second of all, if I were you I would never have gone near a canoe again! Yikes!
Lol! Way to “ease into camping”!
I don’t get it, I loved camping as a kid and I absolutely HATE it as an adult.
That would have scared the poop out of me! We went cave tubing in Belize, and that was enough excitement for me. Me + water sports= oil + water. The only thing I like to do in the water is float. I’m glad you made it out safe!
I have indeed experienced that kind of darkness. Creeeepy!
And I can’t believe you were taken river rafting at 9! I’ve had several pretty crazy camping trips, but that sounds horrifying!
Have you ever considered the reality that camping is just not for you?
Now THAT is a camping story! I’ve never REALLY camped if you can believe it but I really want to!
I’ve seen Tattooed minivan mom around a ton and have always meant to stop by.
Wow, when you went camping, you really went camping!
That was some camping experience. But I just can’t get past the skunk eating beans and then farting too flippin’ funny.
OMG – what an adventure! And yet you still went on lots of other camping trips.. ?? Amazing.
This camping trip is the stuff of legends. (The soup was a nice touch.) Like others, I’m shocked that you ever went camping again. Did your Dad admit to being a stupid jerk back then? It seems like you could have got a lot of mileage out of this family disaster…
I’m sorry to laugh at your pain. That is really and truly horrible!
You are always supposed to catch something on a snipe hunt – otherwise it is no fun. {*grin*}
Given I’m on the scout committee, I have some really good camping stories, mostly involving things like going from 60′s to -20 in five hours as a flash blizzard blew in, etc.
This is precisely why I do not “do” camping. Went canoeing once lost my paddle because I was being attacked by bees and was trying to swat them away with my paddle.
LOL! That was an awesome camping story.
Great camping story. I’ve never been camping (thank goodness!) but I have been canoeing once. We capsized and I went down the rapids but somehow managed to stop and work my way against the current. One of those adrenaline-takes-over moments. I have no memory of how I got pulled from the water.
I liked your soup story too. I’m not sure rain is a great way to stretch your food, but it makes a good story later!
What a story!! One I am sure that no one in your family will ever forget. Have you ever go white water rafting again?
The story about the grapes was also a good one:)
WHat an awesome story! You totally had me reading with anticipation to find out what happened next. I’m guessing your mother did not make anymore future camping trips? I so would have wanted to go home that day, too.
Sound like you have enough material to write a series of short stories about “Jenners’ Camping Misadventures”
I’m so glad that you survived that harrowing canoeing experience. I’m still such a city girl at heart. I wouldn’t survive long in a tent in the woods. Thanks for sharing this “action packed” story:)
This explains quite a bit about you:)
I loved your experiences and your typical great sense of humor.
sorry, but that is so funny. i love the end where you leave early and are mad at your dad. i love it. it’ll be a good story to tell your grandkids.
we camped a lot when i was a kid, but i was always petrified of everything… raccoons, birds, DARKNESS, rain. i’m still not very outdoorsy. i will hike and stuff, but only if i have a hotel room to go back to at the end of the day.
I’m surprised your mother didn’t send him over the waterfall himself-ALONE-in an inflatable canoe ten times, as punishment. We once rafted the Gauley in WV and I can totally picture the fear you describe.. when we were about to go over our last Class 5 rapid, the guide turned around and shouted,
“This is the rapid that several kayakers DIED on! Hold on!”
Holy Cow Jenners! I was scared FOR you and it was a long time ago
I’ll take you camping one day (just so long as you know my camping involves a hotel, a pizza and a coffee pot). It’ll be fun 
After that I am AMAZED that you ever went camping again!!! (although from that list it sounds like you have had many interesting camping trips after this one!!)
I can’t wait to take my son camping when he’s older.
So many life lessons to learn.