Interview with the Little One
by Jenners • 06/25/2009 • BB/The Little One, Writers Workshop • 37 Comments
So before I start on this week’s Writer’s Workshop, I just want to take a moment to recognize myself for inspiring a prompt! Yes!!!!! I can’t even tell you how excited I was when I saw that my little help wanted ad inspired a prompt. I feel like I am basking in Mama Kat’s reflected glory — and it is lovely. Thank you Mama Kat!
So rather than choosing the prompt inspired by ME(!), I went for Prompt #1 — interview a child. So here goes…
Interview subject is a 4.5-year-old male being interviewed by his mother. Despite repeated requests to conduct the interview near pen and paper or a computer, subject refused so the interview was conducted while swinging on swings. Because interviewer is plagued by “mommy brain” and can barely remember her name most days, much of the interview was forgotten by the time the interview was transcribed. However, every attempt has been made to record questions and answers as accurately as possible. Readers are warned that interview subject is currently going through a stage in which he finds the words “butt crack” “eyeball” and “poopy” to be extremely hilarious. The interview often broke down due to the subject’s inability to focus and refrain from using “potty words.” Parental guidance is advised.
Mommy: So how was summer camp today?
Little One: Well, it is OK. But I would have more fun staying at home with you. You’re always more fun than school or summer camp.
Time out for tearing up by interviewer.
Mommy: That was so sweet. You’re making Mommy cry.
Little One (alarmed): Why would that make you cry?
Mommy: Because you said such nice things about me and they touched me.
Little One: Daddy is fun too.
Mommy: That’s nice. (Quickly changes the subject so sweet compliment doesn’t have to be shared with other parent.) So why do you want to be scientist when you grow up?
Little One: Because I want to know everything in the whole wide world.
Mommy: What three things would you try to find out first?
Little One: What dinosaurs ate. And what dinosaurs ate what. And if dragons are real or made-up.
(Brief discussion to help Mommy understand the first two answers.)
Mommy: Do you think dragons are made up?
Little One: I think so. I never saw one and I never saw something breathe fire.
Mommy: Did you ever see a dinosaur?
Little One: Well, we did see their bones. They had big poopy butt cracks. (Laughs hysterically.)
Mommy: OK, remember how we talked about not saying those words? What else do you think might be made up?
Little One: Ummmmm…. mermaids, and mermans and butt cracks and poopy and punch you in the eyeball… (breaks into hysterical laughter)
Mommy: OK. ENOUGH WITH THE BUTT CRACK AND POOPY!
Little One: Mommy, I’m done doing this. I want to blow bubbles.
Mommy: But I have a few more questions.
Little One: Butt crack, poopy, punch you in the eyeball, poopy.
Mommy: OK, we’re done.
It's so funny, this could have been a conversation with my son Drew (he's 4 1/2) his favorite thing to talk about is poopy diapers, dinosaurs and farts. I was really giggling at the end of this!
LOL! Your son is hilarious. They all go through that stage. But how clever of him getting out of the interview process…:)
That was hilarious! Why is it that such words invoke hysterical laughter? And, bodily functions, such as, say…passing gas?!
LOL…so that's what I have to look forward to with my boy.
I'm feeling pretty happy we've not hit that stage. Funny interview
You gotta love that potty humor.
Okay, I laughed at the whole big poopy butt crack thing.
Very cute interview!
Tell him to try out eleemosynary… an absurd sounding word that always makes me smile. Or play some Tom Lehrer for him… the song about the elements, which every scientist should know. He takes after you, doesn't he?
Your story about your interview with your son reminds me of a story with my daughter when she was almost 4 years old, and the "precious" things that kids say when you least expect it. We were taking a bus trip from New Jersey to Florida so I could get a divorce (I was in the military at the time, and my home state was in Fl). Not to long after the bus ride began, my daughter, who NEVER met a stranger, starts telling everyone her name and asking them theirs. Soon she came to an older man sho had white hair and a beard. When she asked him his name, he replied, "I'm Santa Claus". Not one to be immediately taken in by someone's story (remember she is not quite 4 at this point), she turns to the arbiter of truth (me) and asks "Is he really Santa Claus?" I replied that I was not sure. "Then why isn't he at the North Pole?", she again asked. I had to admit that once again, I was not sure. Soon, all her new friends knew that mommy was not married to her daddy anymore (she had got the sequence of events slightly mixed up, but once again we have to remember she was not quite 4.) Later, feeling the call of nature, I told my young'un I had to go to the restroom in the back of the bus. Upon exiting the restroom, everyone near my seat was looking back at me and smiling. I immediately wondered what my little darling had been telling them now…….. One lady leaned over and said "We know what you've been doing!" Seeing my confused looked she said "you've been going pee-pee!" (Hilarious laughter throughout the bus, including myself.)
Cute interview. I used to teach school and I can inform you that grade 7 seems to be the ultimate in butt-crack-poopy jokes. So you have some years to look forward to more of those. After that it either stops or the children become wise enough to avoid such talk around teachers, parents, and other adults. Of course, I know a few adults who find that kind of talk hysterically funny, too, but they all stopped maturing around age 12, so I'm not surprised.
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ROTFLMBUTTCRACKO Sounds soooo familiar to me. Oh my word why are those things so funny to kids. Great interview, love how he teared you up with the first answer.
This post is hilarious! I had to pass this and the Wanted Ad on to my two best friends who also have 4 years olds!
LOL the disclaimer at the beginning was funny but the actual discussion was laugh out loud funny!!
Boys….you have to love them even though THEY love the words poopy, butt crack and laugh at every fart and burp that they also announce loudly!!
Great interview. Love the "big butt cracks". What is with with boys and poop? Thanks for stopping by my blog. Have a wonderful day and take care.
-Kiki
That is so funny! I was cracking up throughout the whole interview, except for the "awww" moment at the beginning, what a sweetie!
I had tears in my eyes reading that! Too funny! Everything is butt, fart, poop, and weiner sausage around here. Love this post!
I don't know if you let him watch tv, but he'd love the show Sid the Science Kid. It's about a kid who wants to know everything about everything! Sounds like your guy. Very cute.
First of all congratulations on being a muse.
Your son sounds smart and funny. Love it!
The kid needs a blog!
HAHAHAHA!!! That is hilarious! Laugh out loud hilarious!
Oh how 4 year olds love "poopy"!! Very cute and made me laugh!!
I'm 41 and the 4.5 year old subject had me giggling. And the pause and subject change to not share the compliment is priceless. Now to reply to that want ad.
Cheers!
This is such a perfect portrayal of what talking with kids is like. What if we all continued to talk like that into adult poopy poopy!?!
Hahahaha… punch you in the eyeball?? That would hurt!
He seems like a funny kid. I wonder where he gets it from…
Very funny! There's nothing you can do while they are going through the poopy butt crack phase! Over here, they love the word: poop sausage!
Great interview! Next time, let him interview you!
What a cutie! I love how the minds of 4-yeard-olds work
I think he'll enjoy reading this interview one day when he is older!
How funny!!!
Can I borrow him when I start feeling bad, sad or mad?
What a character!
Your little guy sounds so smart!
Awesome. "poopy" makes me laugh too, it turns out.
Oooh, Jenners. You have me laughing out loud over here. That was fabulous. LOVED it.
I love it! I remember asking my 6 year old nephew what he wanted to be when he grew up and he wanted to be a space farmer – "you know, someone who farms in space"! That cracked me up!
Such a real interview – I love it! Well done!
If I were to interview my little one it would consist of mostly "up, duck" and lots of pointing. He is just starting to really talk.
this is fabulous!!! I am cracking up at the butt crack poopy punch you in the eyeball. hahahahahaha
And my post, which will be up later is using your prompt. I loved it!
Can I just tell you that butt crack and poopy make nearly-10-year-olds laugh, too… so welcome to the next few years of your life!
He's a smart little one, no doubt (poopy butt cracks notwithstanding).
And cool beans on the whole inspiration thing!
Cute interview! Love your preamble explaining the interview process:) It's terrific that he wants to be a scientist. I think my sons wanted to actually BE the dinosaur at that age. Little One has a wonderful inquisitive mind like his mom. Just so you know, "poopy talk" still cracks up my older kids. I wonder if that ever stops being a kid's favorite subject? Congrats on inspiring Mama Kat too.
ROFL! He's one smart and clever kid
Loved this idea for a post.