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So before I start on this week’s Writer’s Workshop, I just want to take a moment to recognize myself for inspiring a prompt! Yes!!!!! I can’t even tell you how excited I was when I saw that my little help wanted ad inspired a prompt. I feel like I am basking in Mama Kat’s reflected glory — and it is lovely. Thank you Mama Kat!
So rather than choosing the prompt inspired by ME(!), I went for Prompt #1 — interview a child. So here goes…
Interview subject is a 4.5-year-old male being interviewed by his mother. Despite repeated requests to conduct the interview near pen and paper or a computer, subject refused so the interview was conducted while swinging on swings. Because interviewer is plagued by “mommy brain” and can barely remember her name most days, much of the interview was forgotten by the time the interview was transcribed. However, every attempt has been made to record questions and answers as accurately as possible. Readers are warned that interview subject is currently going through a stage in which he finds the words “butt crack” “eyeball” and “poopy” to be extremely hilarious. The interview often broke down due to the subject’s inability to focus and refrain from using “potty words.” Parental guidance is advised.
Mommy: So how was summer camp today?
Little One: Well, it is OK. But I would have more fun staying at home with you. You’re always more fun than school or summer camp.
Time out for tearing up by interviewer.
Mommy: That was so sweet. You’re making Mommy cry.
Little One (alarmed): Why would that make you cry?
Mommy: Because you said such nice things about me and they touched me.
Little One: Daddy is fun too.
Mommy: That’s nice. (Quickly changes the subject so sweet compliment doesn’t have to be shared with other parent.) So why do you want to be scientist when you grow up?
Little One: Because I want to know everything in the whole wide world.
Mommy: What three things would you try to find out first?
Little One: What dinosaurs ate. And what dinosaurs ate what. And if dragons are real or made-up.
(Brief discussion to help Mommy understand the first two answers.)
Mommy: Do you think dragons are made up?
Little One: I think so. I never saw one and I never saw something breathe fire.
Mommy: Did you ever see a dinosaur?
Little One: Well, we did see their bones. They had big poopy butt cracks. (Laughs hysterically.)
Mommy: OK, remember how we talked about not saying those words? What else do you think might be made up?
Little One: Ummmmm…. mermaids, and mermans and butt cracks and poopy and punch you in the eyeball… (breaks into hysterical laughter)
Mommy: OK. ENOUGH WITH THE BUTT CRACK AND POOPY!
Little One: Mommy, I’m done doing this. I want to blow bubbles.
Mommy: But I have a few more questions.
Little One: Butt crack, poopy, punch you in the eyeball, poopy.
Mommy: OK, we’re done.