So on Monday, I challenged you to come up with word problems that were as ridiculous, detailed, impossible, stupid, and dramatic as possible. In other words, the math does not matter — though I’m sure SOME of you (Dan — I’m thinking of you if you did this!) probably took this part seriously and made sure the math worked. So let’s pretend you’re taking a math test right now. What are your answers to the following questions?
- If 14 students get off of a school bus at 3:30 p.m. and immediately go to their respective houses and close the doors, then who let the dogs out?
- Mary has a big basket of melons that are soft, flabby and squishy that she is selling for $5.00 each. Candy has a big basket of melons that are firm, perky and hard that she is selling for $4.00 each. If both Mary and Candy sell their melons at a farmer’s market where only male farmers shop, which girl will sell the most melons?
- An unnamed brown rabbit with white ears and a creme-colored trail ate 7 carrots, which were stolen from Farmer McGregor’s garden. A white rabbit with red eyes named Tractor Man by the family’s 4-year-old ate 4 carrots, which were left for him in his cage by his primary owner, Danny Wilkerson. A gerbil named Jiminy who was bought at PetSmart by Mrs. Dorothy Levins in June 2009 ate 1 carrot. A puggle named Jeffrey who was bought from a well-known breeder from Halifax, Nova Scotia ate 2 carrots. Who died immediately after eating the carrot?
- If a machete hacks the heads off of 7 corpses and a chainsaw removes the feet of 8 corpses, how many toes will the rabid dogs eat off the feet before they are shotgunned to death by the roving death squad?
- Assume that Tyra Bank’s ego is x and Spencer Pratt’s ego is y. If you quadruple x and y and then multiply them by pi, will you get a number that exceeds infinity?
- I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?
1. Jim did — the bastard!
3. Jiminy the gerbil. Everyone knows Mrs. Dorothy Levins dabbles in poison!
4. 16 toes.
5. This is a trick question as x and y are already infinite numbers.