I’m Afraid…and Sick with PVS
by Jenners • 08/05/2009 • Writers Workshop • 40 Comments
1. What’s ailing you? Diagnose yourself with a syndrome.
I think I’ve come down with PVS — Pre-Vacation Sickness. It never fails … we have a mini-vacation planned (we leave on Friday), and today I’ve come down with a terrible cold. My head aches. My body aches. I’m sniffly. So it is 7:30 p.m. and I’m going to bed.1
5. What are you afraid of?
Well, here is a handy little list of some of my fears sorted from A to Z.
A = Alligator attacks
B = Bee swarms
C = Clowns (thank you, Stephen King!)
D = Drowning
E = Eternal damnation
F = Ferris Wheels
G = Gorillas in heat
H = Heights
I = Insects of all shapes and sizes
J = Jaws of life being needed to remove me from a car
K = Kitchen fires (a very real threat thanks to my “high heat cooking” techniques)
L = Losing a body part
M = Misplacing important travel documents right before a vacation
N = Nooses
O = Oompah Loompahs
P = Poisonous mushrooms
Q = Quiet — and the Little One is not in eyesight
R = Rollercoasters that are more than 25 feet high
S = Serial killers (except Dexter)
T = Tarantulas
U = Underarm odor
V = Vapid conversation at parties
W = Whispering when I’m alone in the house
X = X-rays vision and I’m wearing my granny panties
Y = Yellow snow
Z = Zipperless skinny jeans
1 This post is my submission for “Lamest Writer’s Workshop Ever.” I think I’ll win it hands down.
You kill me. I love your A – Z.
I like O, but I cried out when the girl got big and blue and my mom had to turn off the TV. :O(
I do that too – although my issue is running from both ends – nerves I think.
""C = Clowns (thank you, Stephen King!)"
When I read that book I can remember looking under my bed before I turned out the light. My knees start to knock just thinking about it.
Oh no! I really hope you feel better before leaving.
I hear you on the clowns. I saw Ronald McDonald the other day (a real guy with his face painted and all), and I was fah-reaked! I couldn't stand any closer than 15 feet from him.
Great list. Made me laugh… HSS (Holiday Stress Syndrome) is my personal nemesis. Does the CDC list either (PVS or HSS) on its web site?
I always get sick when my mom goes on vacation! lol! She gets worried and never tells me until the last minute before she goes anywhere now! lol!
Oompah Loompahs…snort! Serial killers (except Dexter)…you are hilarious!
Yellow snow, um yep! I am with you on that one, lol
AHAHAHAHA! I love your list! I can certainly relate to a lot of those!
I can relate to a lot of these! Now I'd love to see how you rank them from scariest to least scariest! I'm still laughing over zipperless skinny jeans. I'm glad you ended on that note, otherwise I'd probably have nightmares tonight about some of these things!
Whats with the Chinese?
I have an award for you if you would like to come pick it up!
I love that you'd be afraid a guy with X-ray vision would catch you in granny panties. Not the whole "ooh, a guy is trying to be creepy and seeing me naked." it's the "ooh, a guy is trying to see me naked and I got on old lady underwear."
The oompah loompahs are rather frightening. Not like the flying monkeys though. They are terrifying.
Zipperless skinny jeans is a nightmare! Watch out for those creepy oompah loompahs! Funny, as always Jenners
I was in the doctor's office today, and the Web MD magazine actually had an article on pre-vacation sickness. It basically said that many people can be so go-go-go that they don't give their bodies adequate time to rest. And when they finally do, their bodies are so exhausted that they're really susceptible to illness.
As for your alphabet fears–that was hysterical! I personally am afraid of snakes. That's why I don't camp!
I don't think you should go! Seriously! That is a lot of things that could go wrong…. : )
I'm not sure which one is scarier… alligator attacks or misplacing important documents… Eeek!
(And this is SO NOT lame. While I'm pretty sure you can do almost anything you put your mind to, as it stands you absolutely suck at being lame.)
Hello there! Visiting from Mama Kat's blog!
I thoroughly enjoyed your A-Z list of fears. Some I never would have thought of — but you've given me food for thought! LOL!
~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/
Nooses? Why would those even come to mind on a normal day?
You DO need a vacation! You have entirely too much fear.
oompah loompahs….I so agree
Dear Lord; I laughed like crazy at this! You are a hoot my friend!
I love your crazy list!
Hope you get well and can enjoy your mini-vacation!
I must say your list sounds really familiar, as many of the fears are My fears too.
Hope you feel better before vacation! ggrrr….
Wonderful list! I'm terrified of clowns too.
Hope you feel better for your vacation.
Love your A…Z. Great answers and "z" would probably throw me over the edge.
hope you get feeling better before you leave. love your fear list.
Not lame! I thought your list was hilarious. Very clever indeed.
And I have Steven King to blame for my fear of clowns too. Uhhg. They freak me out!!
Not lame at all! Very cute. So clever that it has made me want to come back & read what else you're gonna write.
My "S" would be spiders…big man eating spiders. Spiders so big, they have a noticeable pulse and a furry comb over.
UGH.
Hallie
I'm not afraid of Dexter, either
Well this is cleaver, I have to agree with you.
I think "It" ruined clowns for a whole generation of people.
And my husband always gets PVS too. I just didn't know it's technical name until now.
Wow, that's quite an organized list of fears! How do you get out of bed in the morning, what with all the danger that lurks around you?
Funny stuff!
So that's what this sickness is called. I get it too but I did not know it actually had a name and diagnosis.
Have a great trip and hope for non-dangerous silent moments for you.
heyy I hate roller coasters too! Jenners isn't camden always like a vacation, why leave?
I have to ask – how are zipper less skinny jeans more frightening that zippered skinny jeans? From a guy point of view, it's the zippered ones that are really scary, not vice versa.
Okay what is UP with Stephen King ruining all of us with clowns! Creepy!
And I thought your list was really creative! I hope you at least feel a little better before vacay!
Um, hello! This was not lame in the least. Your list was so creative! I am hoping to get my writer's workshop done tonight, and still haven't decided on a prompt yet. Loved the xray vision granny panties one.
Omg, gorilla's in heat?! lol. What crazy zoo did you get trapped in?
and Jaws of Life, why not just JAWS? as in the Shark?
BAHAHAHAHa I swear I get sick every freaking time we get ready for a vacation. We are leaving tomorrow and today I've had a scratchy throat and headache all day. Now I know why. I also have PVS.