First of all, I want to thank everyone for their lovely and supportive comments following the death of my dad. Your comments really helped me and I felt so supported. Thank you so much!!!
I just want to let you know that the memorial service for my dad was beautiful and very healing. It was a great way to remember him and celebrate his life. Lots of people stood up and talked about the effect he had on their lives — everyone from his climbing partners to patients he had treated. It was very comforting to hear from so many people about how my dad touched their lives. And one constant refrain was how much my dad packed into his life. He really didn’t waste many moments — and I think that is a very important legacy that he can give to all of us. Don’t waste your life doing what you don’t love. Fill your days with what makes you happy, and take time to enjoy, listen and learn.
It was also wonderful to be with my mom and my brothers, sister-in-law and nieces. It helped so much to grieve together as a family. We all left each other feeling much better than when we arrived in Montana. I realize now the benefit of all the rituals that surround death. They truly do help.
That being said, we came home to New Jersey to find out that a good friend of ours had passed away. This was very unexpected. She had been hospitalized since June with this weird illness that caused her a lot of pain. (She was also pregnant.) However, the last time I visited her before I left on vacation, we were all hopeful that she was getting better slowly but surely. She was working on rehabilitation and there was talk that she would be moving from the hospital to a rehab center. However, something happened (we’re still not sure exactly what), and the doctors ended up performing an emergency c-section. The baby (though several months premature) is doing OK. However, our friend experienced multiple problems that led to her passing away earlier this week. She leaves behind a bereft husband, a 1-year-old daughter and a newborn son. To come home from my father’s memorial service to find out this news plunged me once again into grief and despair. Sometimes the world feels so cruel and awful.
My friend was a wonderful person who had finally found a man who loved her fully, discovered the joy of motherhood and was so excited about expanding her little family. For her life to end so suddenly and in the “thick of things” just rips my heart into pieces. I think of her children growing up without their mother and it makes me feel sick inside. Please pray for her and her family. They will need all the prayers they can get right now.
Feeling so burdened with grief and sadness, I contemplated just giving up blogging altogether. I don’t feel very cheery or happy or funny right now. In fact, it takes all my energy to just get through the day. However, Mr. Jenners told me my dad would be furious is I stopped doing what I love to do.
So here I am. Writing a blog post that isn’t funny and just filled with sad things. But I’m going to keep on writing and I’ll find my way back in time. Thanks for bearing with me and being so supportive during this really sad time.
And if you can do one thing for me, do this: Tell your loved ones that you love them. And think about how you can make your life as happy and fulfilled as you can. You just never know when things might fall apart so make the best of what you have now. It is a lesson that is easy to forget in the midst of everyday life.
And if you want to hear from me from when I was feeling a bit more chipper, go on over and check out my Follower of the Month post on Ter’s blog — With An Angel on My Shoulder. Ter knows a thing or two about grief herself so I find myself relating even more to her. And if nothing else, tell Ter she should read the Twilight books. It is kind of thing I’m working on … I will get her to read those books one way or another!!