So the Little One started kindergarten this year, and I went to the Back To School Night last week to hear about all the fun he’s going to have. I was astounded at the amount of stuff they are going to learn this year. Let me tell you, this is not your mother’s kindergarten … or your kindergarten for that matter. To help illustrate the difference, I thought I’d compare my kindergarten experience with the Little One’s upcoming school year.
The Little One will learn to count to 100 by 2s, 5s and 10s.
I learned to count to 10.
The Little One will learn the official names of shapes — like hexagon, pentagon and octagon.
I learned that a cookie is shaped like a circle.
The Little One will learn to count out money to express the date (e.g., if it is the 17th of September, they’ll count out one dime, one nickel and two pennies).
I learned not to shove a penny up my nose.
The Little One will learn to count to 30 in Spanish.
I once saw a globe.
The Little One has a choice of white, chocolate or strawberry milk.
I got white milk — and ate my carton afterwards. (I had a thing about paper.)
The Little One goes to gym once a week and has no recess.
I had recess every day and once pushed a kid off the top of the jungle gym — onto concrete.
The Little One is learning procedures to avoid the swine flu.
I threw up at least once a week– along with all the other kids in the class. (Remember that sawdust stuff they used to put on vomit back in the day?)
Needless to say, I think the Little One will be much smarter than me by January. Heaven help us all.