You’re Insane About Housekeeping If…
by Jenners • 09/09/2009 • My Take On... • 46 Comments
I was just folding laundry and all of a sudden, a blog post (one that was light-hearted and funny) popped into my head and I thought I better quick catch this moment while I can so here is is — raw and unprocessed right from my brain (which still has joy, laughter and humor in it despite the sadness, melancholy and grief that has taken over lately).
The inspiration? This pillowcase that I totally plan on putting on the bed WITHOUT IRONING! (And the sheets are just as wrinkled but they too will be untouched by an iron.)
If you just shuddered at the idea of me putting this wrinkled pillowcase on a bed, you might need to take this simple yes or no quiz:
- Do you iron sheets and pillowcases before putting them on a bed?
- Could President Obama show up unannounced at your house and immediately go into any bathroom in your house without you having a panic attack about its state of cleanliness?
- Could you pull off see-through glass cabinets in your kitchen?
- Would you confidently allow someone to run a white glove on the tops of the hinges on your closet doors — completely sure that they wouldn’t find one speck of dust?
- Would you be willing to eat off of your kitchen floor?
- Is your laundry folded and put away within 10 minutes of the dryer buzzer going off?
- Could a newborn baby with severe allergies take a nap on your carpet and wake up with nary a new hive?
- Do you have children under the age of 5 but your house does not a fingerprint to be seen — even on the windows?
- Have you washed or drycleaned your curtains in the last year?
- Are you intimately familiar with your baseboards — having cleaned them within the last 5 years?
If you answer YES to any of these questions, you are Insane About Housekeeping. You need immediate treatment — which consists of coming over to my house at least twice a week, preferably on laundry days, and spending some quality time with my baseboards, kitchen floors, bathrooms … and, well, everything.
I was pretty willing to eat off my kitchen floor — not whole MEALS, mind you, but just your basic recovery of dropped items — until the practice landed me in the hospital. True story.
My great-grandmother ironed sheets but I don't. I did however have shelves in my kitchen – with no doors – encouraged neatness.
My grandmother irons everything including their underwear…nuff said!
There's family clean, dignitary clean, and television show clean…my house approaches family clean from time to time.
And I did get it television show clean one time, when a crew arrived to film us for a public television show about bipolar disorder.
As soon as the crew left, I returned to my regular level of slacker-ness.
Oh geez, if someone saw my house right now, they'd nominate it for a reality tv show and have some super nanny come through it and tell many how many million germs are sitting around.
Oh well, a choice between wrinkled pillow cases or a cold beer and some chips with salsa? I know what I would choose!
I found you from some blog hopping. I'll be back to visit again.
I'm officially diagnosed with severe OCD and I don't even do these!
Please send the great housekeepers to my house too. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! : )
I'm a pretty good housekeeper if I do say so myself, but I would never iron sheets or pillowcases. Never allow the white glove test, either!
Wow I was saying no to all of them until the last two questions! ha! Not obsessed just unemployed and still no internet at home….lots of free time and boredom!
Oh – before the sister and the munchkins moved in, there would have been quite a few yeses in there, including ironing the pillowcases (but only on the guest beds). Now? Jeez…I'm happy if I can find a clean spoon! I did just buy some new sponges, and by golly, those dusty baseboards will be clean within the next couple of weeks!
My answers were all NO's. Finally something I'm *not* insane about!
I passed! 110% NO!
If this is a test for insanity – then I am proud to report that I am more sane than I originally thought
Love your humor — and hope that the melancholy days are fading fast.
My mother used to iron my father's underwear. Luckily, I didn't inherit that gene…
My mom used to iron the sheets for the bed…that's NUTS! My iron and myself have a love hate relationship!
I am a housekeeping FAIL. And I'm proud of it! I'd rather play than clean.
If I cleaned my baseboards because I needed to paint them.. does that count? Actually, I did dust them last week, but that's because the layer of dust was thick enough that you could see it – like a thin grey line drawn around the house!
But ironing pillow cases?? No WAY!
Can't help you out, I'm afraid – I've got straight Nos…
Well darn, I only have two "no's". The ironing is not happening and the laundry gets folded but takes forever to put away. All the rest? I clearly have serious issues. I really should just try to relax a bit. That's my goal but then I watch that show- Clean House, and the cleaning frenzy begins again. It's a vicious cycle. And OCD.
It's clear I'm completely insane. Dang. (Like no one saw THAT coming though, seriously right?)
Is it really abnormal to dust the baseboards every week? And I wash my curtains every other month! HELP!
This post made me laugh so hard! I couldn't answer yes to any of them. If you get any takers please send them to my house after they're done at yours.
Man, I could not answer yes to even 1 of those! My brand new bedsheets, pillow cases and duvet cover is incredibly wrinkled. My take on not ironing is that it's just going to be wrinkled again once we sleep
Does it count if I restart the dry 10 times before I actually get to the clothes to fold them?
A resounding "hell no!" to all of the questions…except for one, my baseboards are extremely white!
I proudly say No to every one of your questions. We stand united in our filth.
NO to all of the above. My kids are both over five and every glass surface in this house is well fingerprinted…
Ironing pillowcases! Pishaw! My head flattens them out just fine!
This post has me rolling with laughter! Um, no, no, no, and no!!!!!
Hmmmmm. I am not insane, about housekeeping that is.
You have got to be kidding me. I didn't even know you could iron sheets. What does that say about me. I'm still trying to figure out how to fold those freakish things.
I spent the day off the computer today because I had the feeling that I would soon be turned into a reality show like "Clean House" if I didn't soon pick up some crap around this joint.
"Good Housekeeping" wouldn't be knocking on my door for a photo shoot! Great post!
Dude. I eat off my kitchen floor every day.
Housekeeping is for the birds. Loved this post.
Mostly no's, but a few were yes. I have cleaned my baseboards and my curtains fairly recently. other than that, though….
You could actually eat off my kitchen floor. Yep! There are some cheerios over there, a half-eaten sandwich over there…..
LOL!
no,no,no,no,no,no……………………………………
thanks for the reality check, I'm definetly sane–I answered no to 100% of the questions
I have a friend who was just talking about ironing her sheets (she actually does it). I realized that I am probably a poor house cleaner because I never even knew that was an option.
Seriously crazy waste of time.
My sheets always look like that. I don't know why…maybe because I leave them in the dryer?!? Glad you can still see some humor in everydayness. I myself am having a difficult time. Hugs…
oh my I answered No to almost all of them as well…what does that say about me? lol
Um, yeah so I have to answer NO to all those questions.
I answered all no's. I prefer to live my life….not clean as my life. My house is safe and *relatively* clean.
but I too, need one of those OCD cleaning people to come by my house and get busy….maybe about once every 3 months. LOL!!!
So funny! I wish I could say I was insane about housekeeping, but, that is definitely not me.
Honestly, only answered yes to one. My floor is clean enough to eat off just because our toddler is always dirtying the floor and we are constantly wiping it. Plus, he'll eat anything he finds on the floor. I've been considering dropping veggies on the floor and seeing what happens!
Great posting!
I've never been that obsessed with housekeeping but lately I've slacked to the point of no return, I don't know how to get back to my normal "it's not messy, it's lived in" house, as opposed to what it is now which is "is this a house or a landfill?" lol (okay so it's not THAT bad either but it's starting to feel that way to me!)
I'm a no to all, but if u get a few extra people to spare answering yes, send em to my house.
I did spend the last two days gifting and trashing more stuff than can fit in a uhaul from our upstairs though. I watched hoarders on A&E and discovered I was just a few short months away from an intervention. Thats motivation to clean up right there.
No no no. Omy gosh!!! Help me!! I'm a mother of three little people, and there's nothing I can do about it!!! Behold my nasty little home.
I answered all no's thank you very much
Housekeeping has never been my priority.
My answers were (almost all) resounding no's. I am trying to get better about laundry, though, because during my 'Big Cleaning Weekend' I had to do 11,546 loads… stuff had sort of piled up… and I still had things in baskets, unfolded and just sitting down there, from last winter. Yeah… you could call me insane… but not about housekeeping. Geez.