Reason #14 My Life Is Like A Seinfeld Episode
by Jenners • 10/23/2009 • BB/The Little One • 38 Comments
Mr. Jenners and I joke that episodes of Seinfeld relate to everything in life.
Park the car and forget where it is? Just like Seinfeld!
Wait a long time for a table at a restaurant? Just like Seinfeld!
Walk by a horse-drawn carriage near Central Park and hear it fart? Just like Seinfeld!
Build levels in your house? Just like Seinfeld!
The other day, I added another one to the list.
The Little One started Kindergarten this year. At Back to School night, his teacher talked about how much the kids love when their parents come into the classroom to help out, and she practically begged us for any time we could spare as things can get a little chaotic and she has to share an aide with the other kindergarten teacher.
Well, being a stay-at-home mom, I’m in a perfect position to help out from time to time. So I signed up and envisioned myself having fun with the kids and getting to live out my dream of being a teacher without actually have to get a degree or have real responsibilities.
Well, the day came for me to show up. They were making applesauce in class—the perfect time to come in and help out. I arrived on time and made my way to the classroom—giddy with anticipation. I opened the door. All 23 heads turned to look at me. I saw the Little One and he saw me and…
…he burst into tears and screamed “Get out of here! Go home! Leave!”
Not quite the reaction I was hoping for.
Everyone was stunned. The Little One could not be dissuaded. He kept demanding me to leave. The teacher said “I’ve never seen a kid react like that. They’re usually thrilled.” His classmates said “I would love to have my mommy come in. Why are you so upset?”
Nothing worked. No bribery. No promises that I would stay in the corner and not interact with him. Nothing.
Not wanting to disrupt the class, I left—feeling like the teacher was going to report me to Child Services because whose kid has a reaction like that?
When the Little One got home, I asked him why he didn’t want me there. He said “You’ll slow me down. You’ll distract me too much. I would want to talk to you and kiss you and give you hugs.”
When I told Mr. Jenners about what happened, he said “It’s just like that episode of Seinfeld—where Independent George and Relationship George mix together. It all falls apart. The Little One doesn’t want his worlds to collide.”
I have such mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I’m grateful he is feeling independent. On the other hand, I’m hurt he doesn’t want me there. But Mommy doesn’t give up that easily. Just like George Costanza, I’ll keep on trying.
The next week, there was a book fair and the librarian needed volunteers. I begged the Little One to let me work at it and he cautiously agreed. I said I wouldn’t talk to him or bother him in any way and that his teacher said she really really needed me. It went pretty well—except for the fact that one of the kids I was assigned was like a kid from a Seinfeld episode—the one with Jimmy who always talks about himself in the third person and wears those goofy sneakers? Yeah…I had that kid. He was crazy, and it made me reconsider why I wanted to help out at the school.
But the Little One agreed to let me be one of the chaperones for the field trip next week. I hope this means I’ve successfully insinuated myself into his classroom world a little bit.
If not, I bet I’ll end up in the Soup Nazi episode:
Sigh. Is it Festivus yet?
And the Little One's reasons for not wanting you there were soooooo sweet. What a love!!
What a great story! At least he wasn't afraid that his friends would think you were a loser.
It took until high shool for my son to realize that I was a cool mom… okay to have around his school acquaintances. Mostly it came from kids I had had in art in middle school, as in "Oh, that's your mom? I loved that class." Having different last names has been a boon and a hindrance…
It's never too early to insinuate yourself into the Little One's school life.
Oh this makes me kinda sad but makes me laugh at the same time. I am glad that he finally let you come and volunteer.
Hi Jenners…I love your Seinfeld references. I'm happy that your little one is okay with you volunteering at school. Another fun and entertaining post : )
LOL!! i love how you related it all to seinfeld, that's hilarious!! and i love his reason for not wanting you there…you can't get mad at hugs and kisses!! i hope the field trip goes well!
I would have cried, but too funny!!! Does your husband pose wearing only his gitch and black socks, on chaise longues? (if you haven't seen the ep, I'll feel really stupid…)
You had me rollin' over here, I LOVE Seinfeld, and it made me pull out my DVDs to watch some of those episodes!
I was reading and thinking OH NO how sad, and then when you said he would want to hug and kiss you all the time I thought OMG HOW SWEET!! I hope my boys are like that!
you handled this all very well. Now a warning: Field trips are torture in bus travel form. Take tylenol before you go. Find your Zen and watch out for little Jimmy they are the ones that vomit!
omg, that reaction!!!! I would have cried for the rest of the day!!!
You know he was just fluffin' you with the "I would just wanna kiss you all the time" deal, right? He said it to get extra cookies after dinner… don't fall for it!
Mr. Jenners was right on the money with the "two worlds colliding" theory… I'm sure the field trip will be wonderful!
Well, at least he didn't want you there for good reasons.
He's just jealous some other kid will catch your eye.
It's so sweet to hear him say he would just want to kiss and cuddle you all the time.
That is hilarious. I mean I'm sorry it hurt your feelings and all, but that's funny! So many moms out there don't want to go anywhere near their kids' school, and you have to beg to go to yours! Irony. Funny irony!
Hahaha, oh my gosh this is classic. SO not the reaction I would have expected either…but the two worlds? Yeah, right on.
When you said you had a nother Seinfeld experience working with one of the kids I thought for sure you were going to refer to him as "breathtaking".
Well, the bad news is that you clearly have a deeply twisted relationship with your son, who will doubtless be scarred for life by this recent schoolroom trauma.
But the good news is, you've got a dynamite excuse not to volunteer! More free time for you! w00t!
So on balance, it's all good.
Oh man, I did not see that coming! I would have cheered if you had come into my classroom for SURE! I'm glad he is, cautiously, letting you into his school world. He's independent, you'll have to give him that!
That is so sweet! It would definitely be unnerving to have your child freak out like that (I would have felt so horrible!), but he had SUCH GREAT REASONS!
And I'm pretty sure that your son is a genius, so it only makes sense that every other kid you get stuck with is going to seem… um… strange, haha.
Wow. The similarities are uncanny. I would have been devastated too initially if my child reacted that way. I'm glad you were able to make it another day, even if you had the weird kid.
p.s. I love the soup Nazi episode!
I think Mr. Jenners is on to something. It sounds like it was just a dilemma he didn't quite know how to deal with. But, had I been in your shoes, I'd have hid in one of those kid-sized bathroom stalls and bawled my eyes out. Please tell me you consumed either chocolate or alcohol when you got home? Can't wait to hear about the field trip!
Oh this is great. Made me laugh out loud. I still don't like my worlds to collide!
I never liked my parents to come to school when I was younger either!
Wow! You have me laughing hard. At least Little One's response was sweet – he would want to give you hugs.
Z did that exact same thing every time I came into his preschool classroom for two years and sometimes when we picked him up. He thought I was going to make him go home and he didn't like me being in his school space. That's why I did library volunteering (besides loving books) — preschool didn't go to the library.
This year though he seems to finally understand that I'm not there to ruin anything.
My husband always worried the same thing though — that the teachers would think we beat him or something.
BTW, he cried and shouted … did he also try and push you out the door? That's the one that always made me the most sad.
My own little man is a very independant soul too.
Lately, he's been pissed when I come and get him at preschool because he doesn't want to come home.
Very bitter sweet.
What a smart one to realize that he would want to kiss and talk to you thereby distracting him.
Love Seinfeld!
OMG that was HILARIOUS! Well, maybe not for you at the time…
It is a bittersweet moment when they become so independent so young, isn't it? *sigh*
I bet we'd be in major stitches laughing so hard if we ever got the Little One and Princess Nagger together – could you imagine the conversations those two would have??
I've been stalling sending in my final Volunteer Paperwork – probably because I'm afraid of the same sort of reaction from Princess Nagger if I show up in her classroom…
I love Seinfeld!
Awwww, that is hilarious! I love the No School for you! at the end.
Oh, Seinfeld is the best.
And I would have been mortified too if my son did that, not embarrassed of him, but just as you said, that they'd think I like beat him or something lol.
I understand where he's coming from…but I would have been hurt if one of my own kids screamed and cried when I walked in!
When I volunteered in my daughter's 5th grade class, she had me stop the car a block away, so she could walk the rest of the way. She didn't want to be seen coming into the school with me.
And beforehand, she told me a list of rules that I must follow to be in her class.
I wasn't allowed to touch her, to call her any sweet names I had for her. And for God's sake, don't EMBARRASS her!
I don't know how you managed not to dissolve into a mess of tears! Kindergarten seems so young to be worried about worlds colliding!!
That is too funny.
My older son would run the other way if I ever showed up at school! I think the worlds collide theory works in this scenario. Kids are funny how they react sometimes. It's so cute how he said that he would want to talk to you and hug you all the time. My son would hide his head in the sand. My other two boys seem to like if I show up. I do think that I may act a little "goofy" with the kids. Funny considering how shy I was as a kid myself!
110% HOOT! I can't believe that!
LOL! Holy cow I can't believe he did that. I feel bad that I am laughing so much
But at least he said it because he really loves you and likes talking to you not some other reason.
We used to always relate everything to the Simpson's.
Worlds colliding is a bad thing, IMO. I'm real big on keeping them seperate, so I can see his point. It's not you… it's him. (LOL, ANOTHER Seinfeld thing;-)
Mike and I relate everything to Seinfeld, too! Glad you're making headway with volunteering at school. I'm now an elementary librarian after being with HS kids for several years. The little kids are cracking me up, but boy they have A LOT of energy!
The fact that he told you he would want to kiss and hug you is so sweet! My youngest is 9, and he still likes for me to show up at school to help out, and is not embarrassed to give me a big hug. My other kids, would be mortified if I came anywhere near them at school. I would surely cramp their style;o)
You made me spit out my toast with his reaction! lol, that's great (great as in it made me giggle not great as in he didn't want you there
Wow, you nailed that one. Worlds colliding – LOL!!! I love Seinfeld.
And I think I really like your son too. Good luck with the field trip.