Review: I’m Down by Mishna Wolff
by Jenners • 11/12/2009 • 3 Stars, I Titles, Memoir, W Authors • 24 Comments
Title: I’m DownISBN: 978-0312378554
Publishing Info: St. Martin’s Press, May 2009
Number of Pages: 288
Book Category: Memoir
Pick out a book based SOLELY on the cover. First, write about what you expect the book to be about based on the cover art. Then read the book and write about how the book was different from and/or similar to what the cover art led you to expect.
This book caught my eye because the photo on the front cracked me up. Nothing says funny like a giant poofy hairdo. Also, the title and its lettering seemed to promise a funny story—perhaps something about a “fish out of water.” To me, the cover seemed to indicate that perhaps the story was about a white girl who was pretending to be or aspiring to be African-American. The fact that it was a memoir also caught my eye; I’m a huge fan of memoirs with a sense of humor. And if this was cover photo was a school photo, I knew I was in for a chuckle or two. After all, I have my own bad poofy hair photos so I know what I’m talking about. (See photo at right. That is me in high school with a horrible horrible perm.)
As it turns out, I wasn’t too far off the mark.
Book Overview
When her dad enrolls the girls in summer camp, Mishna is out of her element and regularly terrorized by the other children. But her quick wit and smarts help her find a survival strategy that works for her: capping. Capping is the fine art of “yo mama” jokes where participants engage in trading escalating insults. Mishna excels at capping, and it is her lifeline in the hard-knock world of kid society.
I was becoming a machine—or at least I thought I was. All I know is I had purpose:
1. Me ruling.
2. You sucking.I had aspirations. I had goals. I had a lot of friends, and a lot of bruises.
But just as Mishna begins to fit in at the neighborhood, her mom steps in and gets her transferred to a school for gifted children. Feeling she has found her place in the world at last, Mishna is excited—even thought attending the school means a long commute on city buses. Alas, although Mishna finds herself with children who have the same skin tone, she is still an outsider. Now she doesn’t fit in because her family is poor. Her survival method of capping doesn’t quite work at her new school, and she is forced to find another way to fit in. Eventually, she finds a small group of friends who bond over drawing and fantasy stories (think elves and wizards). But she finds an escape for her increasingly difficult home life at her friends’ homes.
Sleepovers were like mini-vacations for me. I got to step out of my family responsibilities and into my friends’ homes where I was catered to like a crippled person. Dad wasn’t in the habit of asking if he could make me something to eat, or if I wanted him to rent me something while he was at the video store. In fact, the last time I’d had Zwena over, he got her to clean the kitchen after I made dinner.
Besides documenting her struggles to fit in to “kid society” in the neighborhood and at school, the book also chronicles her difficult and confusing relationship with her father, who she alternately loves and loathes. Mishna is torn between loyalty to her father and her wish to escape the lifestyle he inflicts on the family. He dates a series of successful and attractive black women, and each one seems like a potential lifeline to Mishna—an escape from the dirty, uncertain household her farther provides. Here is Mishna describing the visit to her father’s new girlfriend’s apartment:
And the whole place was covered in light cream carpet—which I tiptoed onto like it was hot lava. I knew that cream was for careful people, and no matter how Dad was acting, that wasn’t us. We were the kind of people who needed dirt-colored things.
Eventually, her father remarries, and Mishna gains some new siblings. But, increasingly, her aspirations and dreams drive her to move in with her biological mother. In the end, Mishna is faced with a choice: staying with her sister and father in the life she is familiar with but never really fit or moving in with her mother and pursuing her dreams for the future.
I think part of the problem is that she hasn’t come to terms with her father. In fact, I felt the end of the book left things very unresolved between the two of them. I needed to know more about how things ended up between them. Although her father was a constant presence in her life, his wants and needs always seem to come first and many of his choices are just downright inappropriate and selfish.
Perhaps Mishna Wolff wrote this book without having had enough time to be able to see her father through more mature eyes. She seems to skirt the pain, suffering and sadness that seem to constantly bubble below the surface of her entire childhood. Although I’m glad she was able to find comedy in her upbringing, I feel she owes it to the reader and herself to find the truth of her family life. Some of the best memoirists (I’m thinking of Mary Karr and Jeannette Walls) are able to recognize and write eloquently about both the comedy and the tragedy of their lives—thereby creating a piece of writing that fully describes and embraces the human condition. This memoir falls a bit short.
Where I Got The Book
I bought this book with my (husband’s) hard-earned money and read it on my Kindle so unfortunately, no giveaway on this one.
Cutting to the chase of this book which immediately seduces by it’s cover, title and authors race and name…..I think both daughters Mishna and Anora were terribly abused by both birth parents.
The mother who abdicated them into the care of an alcoholic depressed manipulative madman has permanently scarred both brilliant daughters;….and what about the lawyer-brother that John Wolff used to threaten and wield as a power-torture over the ex-wife and children. Where was he in this lovely ‘family’?
I have no words for the wife Yvonne. She is a classic; shades of Cinderella.
It has been awhile since I read this but I remember not being impressed with either the book or the parenting.
My take on the book is slightly different. Right from the start the author notes the book was written from a child’s perspective; she may think differently now as an adult and others involved may tell it differently. As a pediatric nurse, the story was unique because of this. The story isn’t written as a “processed” or “analyzed” version, its written as a child would experience it. Children don’t analyze things in the way adults do, they blame things on themselves, fantasize about how things will be different, until a certain age love their parents unconditionally, wanting to please them, and don’t see adults for the jerks they can be. It has humor and wit intertwined into a serious story, making it more interesting, plain funny, slightly triumphant, and not so depressing, but I will agree it leaves an uneasy feeling, it should.
I was left with an unfinished feeling upon finishing the audiobook, so I looked on the internet to see what great college Mishnah Wolff went to as she was obviously a gifted child with lots of potential. She quit school at 16 on a dare from a friend, likely one of the other kids in the school who didn’t feel accepted by their parent(s). The biggest message beyond the humor of this book was to accept the differences in your children, guide them, and love them. Her sister who had the acceptance and love of their father went on to be a high school state finalist in track and swimming and earned a master’s degree. Luckily, it sounds like her and her sister are best friends today. I think this book will be continued in the authors next piece, where she will work through the feelings and experiences of her childhood and how later decsions were affected. I commend the author, we will continue to hear of her writings and I think she will continue to grow in her adult successes. Adults, especially parents, need to read “I’m Down.”
Thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful comment. I was so curious to hear about her fate (and her sister’s fate) after her childhood. I see what you are saying about this book being a reflection of who she was at that time in her life. I would be curious to see where her life went after this book ended … it does leave you wondering!
She has done very well for herself — no worries! She’s a comedian, among other things (like writer), and she was married to Marc Maron (a professional stand-up comedian) for a while, and now she is married to a successful artist (a sculptor if I recall correctly) and has a child with him. I don’t think you have to worry too much about this lady as she seems to have landed on her feet.
You bring up an excellent point. In retrospect, this would be how I felt about The Middle Place…the author needed more distance from her subject, to give the book a bit more substance.
What a sad tale. I really hate to hear of children mis-treated this way. Something horrid should happen to parents like these. The most we can hope for now is that the publicity from the book will somehow get through to them. But, of course it's too late. You did an excellent job writing this review – very good analysis.
Nice well-rounded review, but I'm mostly chuckling over the hair and the thought of bad perms. Sorry, I must be shallow.
I think you're right that maybe she should have waited a while longer to get some more substance to her memoir. The cover and concept are great. Maybe she'll write some kind of fictional sequel someday. There's probably plenty of material still sitting around waiting for her to explore it.
I thought this was one of those funny pics that you doctor up for giveaways. I had no idea it was a REAL cover. I know that I would not pick it up based on the cover. I'm a snob that way unfortunately.
You make a good point about the author waiting longer to write about her life. If I had written my life story at the age of 20, there is no doubt that it would be a different story than the one bubbling around in my head right now.
I almost picked this one for my judge a book category, but I think I'd seen a couple people pick it already so I went with another one.
By the way, I'm hating you right now because my phone an author book is TERRIBLE. hahahaha.
Weird … when you originally chose this book, I didn't even put together that I had heard this woman speak — here on an NPR station in Seattle! It was a very interesting discussion about race and the local population structure but I agree that she seemed a bit young to fully be able to assimilate her own experience into the experiences of other similar people. Her view was very self-centered (not in a bitchy way … just in a not-outward-looking way).
I swear that I have given up on memoirs…on occasion I am tempted by one, but this does not sound like the one to tempt my resolve.
If the author's father and/or mother are still alive, it probably was hard for her to be able to completely open up, and resolve, her issues in this memoir.
Have you read "A Girl Named Zippy" and "She got Up from the Couch" by haven Kimmel? I enjoyed those two; they've been out for a while.
That's a hilarious cover. I had huge bangs back in the early 90s, but never an enormous fro. I agree, you really need to get over your problems before writing a book.
–Anna
Diary of an Eccentric
Great review! I think that's one cover that definitely makes people stop and check the book out. It's unfortunate that the book never went to that "next" level about the relationship between the author and her father.
What an interesting idea. Lets face it, we've all done it at one time or another (quite a lot of the time if we are honest)- judged a book by its, err, cover.
I'm not too sure this book is one I'll ever read but I know someone who will love it so thanks for the review.
I think we all had horrible, horrible perms! I know I did!
This book had me at hello (the cover) but having read your review I don't feel the need to rush out and buy it. P.S. You were adorable in high school…puffy hair and all!
The cover is definitely eye catching!
You just can't take anything away from Jeanette Walls, can you? She faces all the crap of her life head-on, but keeps her sense of humor. Hard to measure up against her. And I am amazed, with that freakish cover, that the subject was so dire. Seems to be quite a disconnect there somewhere.
I totally love the cover and the title. I agree with you – there needs to be some type of resolution to make a memoir work, so I'll probably skip this one.
This sounds so sad! It reminds me a bit of "When Skateboards Will Be Free" by Said Sayrafiezadeh who had a mother similar to the father in this book. The adults who write these memoirs seem not to realize how abusive was the treatment they received. yuck.
Wow what an interesting sounding book. Why does the cover look like my 80's hair? LOL