Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon
by Jenners • 03/17/2010 • 5 Stars, C Authors, Essays, Humor, M Titles, Memoir, Non-Fiction • 25 Comments
Manhood for AmateursMichael Chabon
Harper, 2009
306 pages
Non-Fiction, Memoir, Essays
My rating: 5 stars
For the All in the Family part of the Take Another Chance Challenge, I had to read two books by authors who were related to each other. I chose Ayelet Waldman (the wife) and Michael Chabon (the husband). Last week, I reviewed the wife’s book, Bad Mother, so now it is the husband’s turn.
Like Waldman’s book (which is a series of essays on motherhood), Chabon’s book has a similar theme: essays on being a man. The subtitle is “The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father and Son.” The similarities in theme made me wonder if they decided to write companion books. It was fun to see their different takes on the same subjects when you read them back-to-back like I did. But where Waldman’s book stays pretty much on track, Chabon’s book takes delightful side-trips into the lands of comic books, baseball and listening to the radio.
My Thoughts (But Really Just Me Waxing Rhapsodic About The Book)
As much as I didn’t want to compare their writing (which strikes me as horribly unfair), I got a lot of food for thought from Waldman’s book but I fell in love with Chabon’s book. His writing pleased me immensely. The way he puts words together thrilled me and amused me and touched me. So much so that I think I’ll just spend the rest of this review cramming as many little excerpts in as I can. Why listen to me go on and on about how much I loved this book when you can experience it for yourself?
Consider his essay the “Splendors of Crap.” Have you ever heard a more accurate description of modern children’s movies than this:
At least once a month I take my kids to see a new “family movie”—the latest computer-generated piece of animated crap. Please don’t oblige me to revisit the last one even long enough to name the film, let alone describe it. Anyway, you know the one I mean: set in a zoo, or in a forest, or on farm, or under the sea, or in “Africa,” or in an effortlessly hilarious StorybookLandTM where magic, wonder and make-believe are ironized and mocked except at the moments when they are tenderly invoked to move units. I believe but am not prepared to swear that the lead in this weekend’s version may have been a neurotic lion, or a neurotic bear, or a neurotic rat, or a neurotic chicken. Chances are good that the thing featured penguins; for a while, the movies have all been featuring penguins. Naturally, there were the legally required 5.5 incidences of humor-stimulating flatulence per hour of running time. A raft of bright pop-punk tunes on the soundtrack, alternating with familiar numbers culled with art and cruelty from the storehouse of parental nostalgia.
Chabon has a gift for writing about the little moments of life and making them instantly familiar and relatable but then layering on his own unique style and viewpoint in a way that makes these essays as delicious and satisfying to read as dark chocolate or a warm roll with butter (or substitute your guilty delight here). As my Little One embarks on his school career, I’ve begun to realize that the sheer amount of papers he’ll generate in the coming years could account for an entire forest of trees dying. So I thoroughly enjoyed “The Memory Hole,” in which Chabon writes about dealing with the creative works of four children. Let’s read a little of it, shall we?
Almost every school day, at least one of my four children comes home with art: a drawing, a painting, a piece of handicraft, a construction-paper assemblage, an enigmatic apparatus made from pipe cleaners, sparkles and clay. And almost every bit of it ends up in the trash. My wife and I have to remember to shove the things down deep, lest one of the kids stumble across the ruin of his or her laboriously stapled paper-plate-and-dried-bean maraca wedged in with the junk mail and the collapsed packaging from a twelve-pack of squeezable yogurt. But there is so much of the stuff; we don’t know what else to do with it. We don’t toss all of it. We keep the good stuff—or what strikes us, in the Zen of the instant between scraping out the lunch box and sorting the mail, as good. As worthier somehow; more vivid, more elaborate, more accurate, more sweated over.
In typing that last excerpt, I realized that what makes Chabon’s writing so good is how specific he is. He doesn’t just say “We throw it in the trash and make sure it is buried deep.” He describes the art (“laboriously stapled paper-plate-and-dried-bean maraca”—who among us has NOT made one of these or had one given to us?) and the trash (“the collapsed packaging from a twelve-pack of squeezable yogurt”). It is this specificity and detail that delights me and creates such memorable and relatable writing.
Yet I think Chabon’s true genius is taking a specific event like dealing with the flood of artwork from your children and turning it into a deeper, more philosophical musing. Consider the end of the essay excerpted above:
The truth is that in every way, I am squandering the treasure of my life. It’s not that I don’t take enough pictures, though I don’t, or that I don’t keep a diary, though iCal and my monthly Visa bill are the closest I come to a thoughtful prose record of events. Every day is like a kid’s drawing, offered to you with a strange mixture of ceremoniousness and offhand disregard, yours for the keeping. Some of the days are rich and complicated, others inscrutable, others little more than a stray gray mark on a ragged page. Some you manage to hang on to, though your reasons for doing so are often hard to fathom. But most of them you just ball up and throw away.
I wish I could keep going; I must have marked at least 30 other passages that I thought were particularly memorable or amazing or just spoke to me. Like his essay “Radio Silence,” which talks about how listening to the radio can suddenly make you a time traveler—winging you back to the first moment you heard that song. (I have never been able to hear the BeeGee’s “How Deep Is Your Love?” without instantly being back in the 7th grade where my skinny, nerdy, awkward self is rollerskating with the cutest boy in class—Tony Mattia—who ASKED ME TO SKATE WITH HIM TO THE SLOW SONG! When I hear that song, I am right there again, holding onto his shoulders, with the lights of the disco ball washing over us as we skate around and around in a moment that will live forever in my memory as clear as if it just happened yesterday.)
I had every intention of giving this book away for a giveaway when I was done with it, but I can’t. This is a keeper. This is a book I want to keep close by: to dip into when I need to be reminded what good writing is, or when I face the inevitable moment when my son asks me about my past and I need to walk the same tightrope Chabon does when his kids ask him whether he’s ever tried drugs1, or when I just want to relax and revel in what a gifted writer can do with English language.
My Final Recommendation
The fact that I’m not giving this book away should tell you something. I tend not to keep too many books; most of them eventually find a home with someone else. But this book is an exception. And if you were a detective, this clue would tell you that I view it as a 5 star book. I absolutely adored it. If you are a lover of language, I defy you not to fall in love with this book (or a little bit in love with Michael Chabon).
The Whys and Wheres: I bought this book (and shall be keeping it) because of a review I read on The Book Lady’s Blog.
To find out what other bloggers are saying about the book discussed in this post, visit the Book Blogs Search Engine.
Pingback: Review: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon | Life … With Books
Pingback: 2010 Reading Wrap-Up | Life … With Books
Darn it! I had this in my hand at Powell's the other day, but decided to get his first novel instead. Not I wish I bought this one instead (or in addition).
Love the excerpts you included and your reasons for selfishly keeping the book. I'll ba adding this to my list. But, is it really a list anymore if it's more pages than your taxes?
I'm probably the last person on earth to have not read Chabon. I'm not sure why I am completely unattracted to his books. Even after reading glowing reviews. I'll have to get over myself and try him one of these days.
I have not read anything but this author, but it does sound like a great read. Thanks for posting about it.
Jenners —Thanks for this great review. I read Chabon's The Mysteries of Pittsburgh —I grew up there and recognized the places he described. This one sounds great, too.
A while ago you asked about non-fiction books. I highly recommend The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, a memoir of growing up with eccentric parents, who were also irresponsible and neglectful. It is written without an ounce of self-pity and even a great deal of humor, despite the poverty the family endured. It made me sad and angry, but I also laughed a lot. And in the end, it was uplifting, for three of the four children got out of their deplorable home to become successful, productive adults. (The jury is out on the 4th child.) I listened to an audiobook, then ordered the book from the library and re-read most of it again.
It's true that "we ball up most of them and throw away." This sounds like a great read. Thanks Jenners. Love coming here for book recommendations.
Sounds like a wonderful book and i can see why you would want to keep it. His writing is hysterical although I'm not too sure he has the right 'tude about penguins!
I never realized these two authors were married. I read Kavalier and Clay by Chabon a number of years ago and loved it. I have been meaning to read another Chabon – I will add this one to the list!
Reserved on your recommendation, madam.
This sounds like a wonderfully rich book with a great perspective from Chabon. The fact that you are keeping it can only mean that it is AWESOME. And by the way I love your memory evoked when you hear, "How Deep is Your Love". I am the same way with songs!
I've already reserved Waldman's book at my library and luckily they have this one too! You've sold me!
Glad to see how many books like this seem to be appearing. A friend who is studying sociology says the topic of what it is to be a man/a father in today's society is becoming a pretty hot topic – I'm going to recommend she reads this book. Thanks for letting us know about it.
Wow.. this must be a really good book. Thanks for a funny and great review!
OMG I am still laughing OUT LOUD as I type this comment and my teenagers are ASLEEP!!! It was so quiet in the house until I started cackling out loud to your hilarious book review and now I can't even give them a bottle to make them go back to sleep because they're teenagers!!!! Do you know how hard it is to get 3 teenagers asleep on a school night before 11:30 p.m.? Usually I can get 2 down, but all THREE?!?
Seriously, that was one rocking book review!!! It is going on the top of my TBR pile. I need some great laughs!….ah, i'll just bookmark this post – LOL!
You put this book on my list
I read his Yiddish Policemen's Union and it was quiet good .
you are right. your decision not to give it away shows how much you enjoyed it. I totally get that..lol
Isn't his writing just amazing?!!! Once again I have to tip my hat to Ayelet for not just giving up!
Also, at the Tucson Festival of Books, I did go listen to part of a presentation by 2 of the only 3 MG/YA writers there, and they spent THE ENTIRE TIME talking about how funny flatulence is and how they make an effort to include lots of it in every book…. Ah, no wonder our children are so far behind other countries!
Wow! Well, I had a rather bad taste in my mouth after attempting to listen to the Yiddish Policemen's Union on audio, and ultimately abandoned it. But this writing is really genius! I'm just shaking my head in amazement at how he has captured the essence of being a parent! If my husband read more than ten pages a year, I would get this book for him. As it stands I will need to read it myself I think!
Yipee! So glad you loved it. And I know the feeling—all I really wanted to do in my review was sigh, swoon, gush, moan in ecstasy. Maybe I should have done a vlog instead….
This sounds like a marvelous book and I loved the way you shared it with us!
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about with the "Radio Silence". Songs often transport me to other times in my life…some good, some bad.
Wonderful review!
Ooh, I think I can cross Buy hubby a Fathers Day gift off my to do list. Thanks!
I just put this on hold at the library. It should arrive from another branch in a few days – so now I have to hurry up and finish "House Rules".
Oooh, this sounds like a great read. Thanks!
BTW, don't you just LOVE the design of Chabon's book covers? They are always so arresting.