This week I’m choosing Prompt 5: Why didn’t they ask you? Write a list of 5 or 10 sentences that begin with the words “No one ever asked me,” then write about one in detail or use them in a poem or use several in a personal description of yourself. (from writingfix.com).
I’m not going to do the poem or write about one in detail or describe myself BUT I will give a little commentary after each sentence. You’ll just have to deal with that, Mama Kat.
No one ever asked me … if I wanted a free vacation (without also requiring me sit through a 4-hour timeshare presentation).
No one ever asked me … directions to the women’s restroom in the Tokyo airport. (Though this may be due to the fact that I was never at the Tokyo airport. But I think it is down that way and to the right after the Hello Kitty gift shop.)
No one ever asked me … if it was OK to take Arrested Development off the air. (It is NOT all right. That show was funny and better than all the other crap TV shows on the air at the same time. I’m looking at you, Yes Dear. Honestly, I don’t really know if Yes, Dear was on at the same time but it might have been and I didn’t really like it. Though I only watched it once.)
No one ever asked me … if I was a supermodel in disguise while I walked on the streets of New York City. (Perhaps because I’m 5′ 2″, a bit flabby and walk like I have a stick up my butt. It’s true … I saw myself walking on a home video and Mr. Jenners is right!)
No one ever asked me … if they could deposit large sums of money into my PayPal or bank account for me to spend however I see fit. (But I would say “yes” if asked this!! Just try me!)
No one ever asked me … if I understood Einstein’s theory of relativity. (Because I don’t. Something about how time might seem to pass faster if you’re blogging but amazingly slow if you are playing CandyLand for the 465th time that day. But don’t quote me on that.)
No one ever asked me … for my signature recipe. (Because I don’t have one … unless dry chicken dipped in leftover Chick-fil-A Honey Mustard sauce counts. And no joking … that is what I served for dinner last night. It sucks to be Mr. Jenners and the Little One.)
No one ever asked me … the way to San Jose. (I hear they’ve got a lot of space and a place to stay.)
No one ever asked me … if I could recite Beowulf from memory. (I can’t. So don’t ask.)
No one ever asked me … if I’ve journeyed to the center of the earth. (I have. It looks just like downtown Cleveland. Weird.)
Waiting for Godot and to be asked a whole bunch of other questions,