Answering Questions Posed in a Poem
by Jenners • 04/25/2010 • Life, Silliness • 31 Comments
Whilst blogging the other day, I came across the following poem at a blog called Necromancy Never Pays. The poem just tickled me and seemed just perfect for a meme. So, I thought I would go ahead and answer the questions posed in the poem for an easy, no thinking post. (Perfect as we just got back from getting in a car accident!!! We got hit from behind and the back of our 3-month old car is just trashed. Makes me sick but at least everyone is OK.)
Intake Interview
by Franz Wright
What is today’s date?
Who is the President?
How great a danger do you pose, on a scale of one to ten?
What does “people who live in glass houses” mean?
Every symphony is a suicide postponed, true or false?
Should each individual snowflake be held accountable for the avalanche?
Name five rivers.
What do you see yourself doing in ten minutes?
How about some lovely soft Thorazine music?
If you could have half an hour with your father, what would you say to him?
What should you do if I fall asleep?
Are you still following in his mastodon footsteps?
What is the moral of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”?
What about his Everest shadow?
Would you compare your education to a disease so rare no one else has ever had it, or the deliberate extermination of indigenous populations?
Which is more puzzling, the existence of suffering or its frequent absence?
Should an odd number be sacrificed to the gods of the sky, and an even to those of the underworld, or vice versa?
Would you visit a country where nobody talks?
What would you have done differently?
Why are you here?
So, here are the results of my intake interview…
What is today’s date?
April 25, 2010
Who is the President?
Barack Obama (though I’ll admit I hesitate a little at times trying to decide which is his first name and which is his last name).
How great a danger do you pose, on a scale of one to ten?
About a 2 I think. Unless you threaten my child, then I’m a 10. For Mr. Jenners, I’m about a 5.
What does “people who live in glass houses” mean?
They are the good-looking, exhibitionist people who like to show off.
Every symphony is a suicide postponed, true or false?
True. Those composers are a moody lot.
Should each individual snowflake be held accountable for the avalanche?
No more so than each individual person should be held accountable for genocide.
Name five rivers.
Delaware, Mississippi, Missouri, Colorado, Yangtze
What do you see yourself doing in ten minutes?
Proofreading this post.
How about some lovely soft Thorazine music?
OK … as long as I can dance to it.
If you could have half an hour with your father, what would you say to him?
I love you. What is it like in the afterlife?
What should you do if I fall asleep?
Curl up next to you and sleep too.
Are you still following in his mastodon footsteps?
No … I veered off on my own path years ago.
What is the moral of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”?
Don’t follow your bitch-ass owner to school. Stay in the meadows with the other lambs. The teacher don’t want you in her classroom.
What about his Everest shadow?
He should really shave I think.
Would you compare your education to a disease so rare no one else has ever had it, or the deliberate extermination of indigenous populations?
Probably a rare disease … no one ever gets educated in quite the same way. And I still count on my fingers, which is rare for someone in their 40s.
Which is more puzzling, the existence of suffering or its frequent absence?
Its existence.
Should an odd number be sacrificed to the gods of the sky, and an even to those of the underworld, or vice versa?
Vice versa.
Would you visit a country where nobody talks?
Certainly. It would be quite lovely there I think.
What would you have done differently?
I would have veered left instead of right. That would have made all the difference.
Why are you here?
To read as many books as possible, to spread joy through the Interweb, to be a good mother to the Little One, and to be as tolerable as possible for Mr. Jenners.
And now a random photo of a double rainbow over our neighborhood this past week
Thinking I may not quite be ready to be admitted (yet),
Hi everybody I am famous
What in the world are the questions and the poem
I think it's brave and defiant of you to post this in spite of the poet's rude and elitist rant on my post about the poem!
That sucks about your car, but at least everyone is okay. I always knew there was a moral to Mary had a little lamb! Clever post!
The Boy has had to answer some of those very questions in an intake interview…right before they locked him up at the psychiatric hospital.
One time, they asked him who was president before George W. Bush, and he said "Gore". The interviewer laughed.
I ADORE learning more about you like this.
But wait. Where is my poop story?
Your Mary Had a Little Lamb answer made me laugh out loud at work and nearly spew my diet Coke onto my computer monitor
And that rainbow picture is A.MAZ.ING.
I'm glad no one got hurt in the car accident. There are some crazy questions here. I love your response to Mary Had a Little Lamb. That was hilarious
So sorry about the car. Big time bummer. Glad no one was seriously hurt.
"What about his Everest shadow?
He should really shave I think."
What a fabulous, hilarious answer. And the photo is spectacular, too.
Glad to see you're taking the mishap in stride.
I about died from laughter reading your answers!! I LOVE them
Especially the "Mary Had a Little Lamb" answer – because if I hear that song on more time I'm going to be pretty close to a 10 on the threatening scale!
And the rainbow photo? Breathtaking!
Glad everyone is fine
love your blog!
marinela x x
What good book have you read lately? I saw one of your answers was to read as many books as you can.
I liked Spiced…doing a giveaway fro it now.
and am reading Sheet Music…and LOVING it. Going to do a blog post about that soon.
Guess I cant help but blog about books.
this was suppose to be about you. Sorry!
Oh you poor thing! Sorry about the accident and your car – glad everyone's OK, though!
And your answers? Hysterically funny! Good thing I had run out of coffee before I started reading. Now it's safe to get more!
I love why you are here. And you do bring joy to the web
Awesome double rainbow!!
Car wrecks are so scary! I'm glad you were all fine, but how sad about the car.
I loved getting your take on the questions (and love the variety of perspective in this life). When I saw the symphony question I thought of it as postponing suicides of the listeners because the music is so uplifting.
I am so happy to hear everyone is okay. It's unfortunate about the car but that can be fixed. I loved your responses to the interview. I don't think I could even think of 5 rivers right now! LOL. And I am definitely more dangerous- especially when I drive at night.
Wear reflective clothing!
What an intriguing poem. Such amazingly insightful questions and answers. Thanks for the fun today. Glad that you are all okay. The car is just a thing. But you and your family are so much more valuable. Enjoy the day! Erin
Oh no! Glad that you are all OK!
BEAUTIMOUS rainbow!
Is Mr. Jenners ok with the fact that you're only willing to work up to the level of tolerable?
omg, the part about Mary's lamb was hysterical!
The car doesn't matter as long as everyone is safe.
Do you really have to be tolerable to Mr Jenners? Or are you just doing it for appearances sake?
I agree with kisaturtle. I love odd numbers.
Sorry to hear about the car. But at least you're all okay. Did a Toyota get you after all?
Another wonderfully funny post!
So sorry to hear about the accident.. it leaves one kind of shaken up afterwards….
And a gorgeous double rainbow!
This looks like so much fun! I'm sorry to hear you were in a car accident, and it sounds like you were the one driving from your "What would you have done differently" answer. Bleh. At least you're okay!
That picture is breathtaking!
Glad that you're okay. Loved the Mary Had A Little Lamb moral. It cracked me up!
Ack! Bad drivers should have to have a sign on their cars…big and neon!! Glad you're ok! The Bo-Peep answer rocked
and I loooove that double rainbow picture!
Can't believe it about your car! They crumple so easily! What do they make them out of these days, plastic? But I'm so glad you guys are okay! Was TLO in there? Is he traumatized? Poor little guy! *I'm* even traumatized, just hearing about it!
Okay, on to more pleasant things. So impressed you could name 5 rivers. I think I could think of one. That's what happens when you live in the desert. (But on the positive side, I've stopped spelling desert like dessert.)
Interesting answers to "Why are you here" but what about: "to help support the chocolate industry"….
Glad you're okay! After your vacation time away, I think I'd have separation anxiety.
Veering left…seems like good advice. Very Robert Frost-y.
I'm glad to hear that you and your family are okay. I would rather it be the car that is damaged.
I liked your answers, most specifically the answer to How great a danger do you pose, on a scale of one to ten?
Glad everyone is okay…and I hope you get your car back good as new soon!
And my 1st thought…"There was a moral to mary had a little lamb?"
I feel like I know you even better. However i disagree on the sacrifice. It is definately odd to the heavens and even to the underworld. Just sayin….LOL
So sorry about your car. Glad everyone is okay. I still count on my fingers, too. I didn't know it was rare just lazy.