Last week, I asked you to create fake books and/or magazines. I have to say, this is probably the most fun I’ve had with one of my “games.” I can totally envision repeating this one again. I hope you had as much fun with it as I did. Anyway, here is what I came up with. First up is a magazine called Toddler Today and then a book called Simple Explanations for Mommys (I wasn’t in love with this title but was limited in what I could do for my fake book cover).
In the next issue of Toddler Today:
- Learning From Monkeys: Getting Stuff From Very High Places
- How To Evade Cheek-Pinching Relatives
- Expose! Humpty Dumpty Speaks: “All The King’s Men Did A Piss Poor Job!”
- Fashion: Suri Cruise Models Her Spring Line
- Lies Mommy Is Telling: Your Face WON’T Stay That Way Forever!
- Language Development: When To Use Those Special Words that Daddy Says When Things Don’t Go Right
- Potty Training Secrets: You Really Won’t Get Flushed Down the Toilet
- TT Poll: The ABC Song … Do You Really Want Others To Sing With You?
In this insightful and helpful book, Jenners explains difficult concepts in terms tired moms can understand, allowing them to keep pace with their know-it-all kids (and husbands!) even while suffering from “Mommy Brain.”
What the Experts Say: Time goes more slowly in higher gravitational fields.
What Jenners Says: It’s like how time goes by quickly when you are blogging but really really slowly when you are playing your 514th game of Candyland.
What The Experts Say: A region of space from which nothing, including light, can escape.
What Jenners Says: It’s like how fat calories enter your body and never leave again, choosing instead to cluster around your tummy area or buttocks
What the Experts Say: Basically, the simplest explanation is probably the correct one.
What Jenners Says: If it smells, chances are Daddy did it. If it is broken, chances are your kid did it. If it is burnt, chances are Mommy did it.
The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
What The Experts Say: Certain pairs of physical properties, like position and momentum, cannot both be known to arbitrary precision. That is, the more precisely one property is known, the less precisely the other can be known.
What Jenners Says: If you have figured your first-born, your second born will be completely different in every way, shape and form.
What The Experts Say: Electricity is a form of energy. Electricity is the flow of electrons. All matter is made up of atoms, and an atom has a center, called a nucleus. The nucleus contains positively charged particles called protons and uncharged particles called neutrons. The nucleus of an atom is surrounded by negatively charged particles called electrons. The negative charge of an electron is equal to the positive charge of a proton, and the number of electrons in an atom is usually equal to the number of protons. When the balancing force between protons and electrons is upset by an outside force, an atom may gain or lose an electron. When electrons are “lost” from an atom, the free movement of these electrons constitutes an electric current.
What Jenners Says: Uhhhh….it’s magic!
Still not getting exactly what electricity is,
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