Remember when I was doing my FAQs and I told you that you had one last chance to ask me questions? Well, I’ve been saving these questions up for days when “I got nothing.” Today is one of those days. All the questions today come from Angie at Seven Clown Circus. (The fact that a big-time blogger like Angie even reads my blog amazes me … let alone that she has questions for me! Then again, I think she is just trying to trick me into telling about another time I pooped my pants when I wasn’t a baby. She liked my previous “adult pooping” story just a little too much if you ask me!) So on with Angie’s questions.
This is a question that I have badgered my parents to answer for years, and they have always refused to answer me. This leaves me believing one of two scenarios:
- I am a genius, my IQ is off the charts, and my parents don’t want to reveal this to me so I don’t get too big an ego and become a insufferable jerk. (Too late for that! HAHA!)
- I am an idiot, my IQ is sub par, and my parents don’t want to reveal this to me as I’m managing to get through life exceeding everyone’s expectation and they don’t want to spoil it.
Notice how it never occurs to me that I might just be average! (Gasp! A fate worse than idiocy!) I guess I could take one of those IQ tests and get the answer for myself. However, based on the latest results from Brain Age 2, my brain age is 74 so I think I’ll just go on believing that I’m a secret genius.
What clubs were you a member of in HS?
Aside from my lifelong membership in the Dorks R Us Club, I did belong to several legitimate clubs in high school.
- The Speech Team. I can sum up my time in this club in one word: TERRIFYING! I participated in three different “events” during my time on the speech team. The first one was Impromptu Speaking, where you were given a topic and had to come up with enough stuff to talk about for at least three minutes. (The judges held up cards saying 1 MIN, 2 MIN, 2 MIN 30 SEC… talk about stress when you were only a minute in and had exhausted your knowledge of the topic.) The lowlight of this event was when the given topic was “euthanasia,” which I mistakenly heard as “Youth in Asia.” Fortunately, I was not the first one who had to speak and I quickly realized my mistake when the other kids gave their talk. I managed to cobble together something but it was terrifying! It was after this fiasco that I switched to Debate. For this event, everyone had a preassigned topic and you had to do your research before the meet for both sides of the issue. Then at the event you were randomly assigned Pro or Con, and you and your partner had to debate another team. My partner Jim and I did fairly well … until the time we left all our research material in the lunchroom and went into the debate empty-handed. Terrifying! My third event was Drama, where you would perform short monologues. My scene of choice was from “The Yellow Wallpaper,” about a woman’s slow descent into madness. With my flair for melodrama and poor acting skills, I’m sure the judges found my performance … terrifying!
- The Yearbook. I was co-editor of my high school yearbook one year, and the primary photographer for another. This was an awesome activity, which included full, unfettered access to a real darkroom where I got to develop my own film and print the photos. It was totally cool! I totally abused these privileges by using film to photograph the boy who I had a major crush on using a telephoto lens. And to think I didn’t grow up to become a paparazzi!
- Drama. I wasn’t in the club, but I did get a part in one school play. I was Mrs. Higa-Jiga in The Tea House of the August Moon. I basically had to babble Japanese-sounding words. My one English line involved saying the word “bobby pin” so one of the other characters could react to this word. Guess who forget her one English word on opening night?
I’d also like to point out that I was forced to take piano lessons throughout grade school and high school with a series of old women whose gnarled hands and odd smells haunt me to this day. During this time, I was forced to play the piano at various recitals and still break out in chills whenever I hear Fur Elise. I remember begging and crying to quit, and my parents said over and over again that I would regret if I did. (And damn if they weren’t right.)
And That Hair!
Revealing myself as a melodramatic, boy-stalking, piano playing, probable idiot who misses her father,