Our (Not So) Great Adventure
by Jenners • 05/31/2010 • BB/The Little One, Life, Mr. Jenners • 34 Comments
We decided to take a trip to Six Flags Great Adventure today to add some razzle dazzle to the long Memorial Day weekend, and it ended up being just one long headache. Some highlights:
- Before going to the park, we stopped at the nearby outlets because the Little One needed new sneakers. He fell in love with this one pair of shoes, and they were on sale for almost half off. He begged to wear them, and since his sneakers were falling apart, we let him. About 30 yards from the car, he says his feet hurt and he can’t wear the sneakers … which already have parking lot dust on the soles so they can’t be returned.
- The first big blunder of the day: going on the Congo Rapids ride first and getting absolutely sopping wet. My underwear still wasn’t dry by the time we got home 5 hours later.
- We change the Little One out of his wet clothes and into his swimsuit (the only one who had a change of clothes). DUH! Smart parents would have done this BEFORE the wet ride.
- I convince the Little One to try out a family rollercoaster. (He’d ridden the Wacky Worm before and loved it and this seemed similar.) As we are waiting for the ride to start, he has second thoughts and begins crying hysterically and screaming “Get me off of here!!! Get me off of here!!!!!” Despite my attempts to reason with him, we are forced to disembark, with everyone looking at me like I’m a horrible mother.
- We’ve been at the park for two hours and ridden one ride, which has left us soaking wet. Now everyone is getting nasty and headachy so we decide to eat lunch, which costs more than $35 for two mini pizzas, a “chicken” cheesesteak and three bottles of water.
- We decide to “start over” again and try to salvage the day. This falls apart about 2.5 minutes later when the Little One says he needs to go the bathroom 4 times in the span of 10 minutes.
- We drop $10 in a games arcade, which results in the Little One winning a little wooden snake, a pirate pencil and a deck of cards that look like money. He is ecstatic … you would have thought he won the lottery. (It never ceases to amaze me how excited he gets about the cheap prizes they have at those places.)
- As we walk to a children’s area that looks promising, Mr. Jenners leaves me for another woman.
Mr. Jenners with his new woman.Notice his super hero stance.
- We find the children’s play area we’ve been looking for (with only 3 bathroom stops on the way). The Little One runs off happily and plays for 2.5 hours while we sit and wait. Fortunately, both of us thought to bring our iPod Touches and I’m able to read while Mr. Jenners listens to the radio. (Nothing like reading Columbine–an exhaustive non-fiction account of the shootings at Columbine High School–while sitting on the ground at a children’s splash park. The juxtaposition was weird.)
- The Little One’s clothes are still damp, but his swim clothes are soaking so we change him back into the damp clothes (except for his underwear which are still really wet). He happily exclaims his new favorite phrase–”I’m going commando!!!!”–loudly and frequently.
- Washing my hands in the bathroom, a lady takes a moment to inform me that “you gotta whole lotta red stuff all ovah yo ass, lady!” This proves to be true. And NO — it is NOT what you think. It was from sitting in the water splash area!
Lesson learned: Don’t wear white shorts to an amusement park.- We go home and collapse.
Wondering why we dropped $115 to have this much fun,
Hilarious!! Especially the commando part!!
BTW: why can’t I click on anyone’s name to go to their blog?
Hey, I have a gravatar, not just a G! And I can click on my name and go to my blog. Is it because they didn’t sign up at Gravatar?
Hmmm…I wonder. It might be that. I’ll have to go check it out.
Did the woman really say it just like that?! That's friggin' awesome! It should be a rule that white is no longer allowed when you become a mom. It would sure save a lot in laundry and clothing expenses. Better luck at Six Flags next time!
I would like to say thanks for letting me post here,your topic about Jenners family diaries,is very interesting I want to find out more about it
Okay now…I'm not so bummed that we didn't get to make it to Six Flags Magic Mountain a few Friday's ago with the boys! I'm making a mental note as we speak!
I don't know where to even start!! If you were a bad mom for making little one stay on the ride you are the best mom in the world for letting him stay in the play area for 2.5 hours. I never would have done that.
At least Little One will look back years from now and think the day was blast, instead of a bust.
So chalk it up to lessons learned and…
blog fodder?
Sometimes it works out, sometimes not so good. Glad you didn't ruin the iPod, those are expensive.
Sounds like an expensive not so fun day, lol. I hate when things like that happen, and trust me, they happen to all of us at some point.
My son did the same thing before some rides at Disney. Gotta love waiting at least a hour in line only for them to freak out when it is their turn.
And well at least the lady was kind enough to tell you
Ugh, I dislike water rides. I hate having wet clothes, but no way am I sitting on it wearing just a bathing suit. Hope the next one is better!
Poor you. Amusment parks and Chuck E. Cheese: 2 things to avoid at all costs. It bites to have to spend a small fortune for a "good" time. (And they really get you with food…) You could have a water balloon war and have just as much fun.
HAHAHAHAHA! Awwww… that doesn't sound like fun AT ALL. But it is so funny to read! I think I may need to bookmark this post just in case I ever one day have children and am feeling brave enough to take them to an amusement park, ha!
omfg. what i have been missing in the absence of your writing. i have 2 words for you: SIT-COM. seriously with so much crap on tve, yours would b a slam dunk. who would you like to play you?
ps~i hope you will not feel too frightened when i tell you that each time i reluctantly apply moisturizer to my face and body, i think of you. do you know why??
only you can make a bad day sound hilarious!
As usual, I'm laughing out loud, Jenners. Definitely sounds like one of my family's "fun days". And you should never laugh at Columbine, but I must admit, I did chuckle at the black humor of you reading that in an amusement park. Glad you survived the day, babe.
all I can say about this is that you should feel blessed that you only have one child. Imagine the same day with three kids all different heights trying to figure out which kid mom likes best by who gets to ride what?? This, I fear, is my future at Hershey in a few short weeks. Add my sister and her two kids and my friend Gina and her two kids and I think I may have Suckation 2010.
Sounds like something that would happen to us. Thanks for sharing. I think the $115 was well spent for all the laughs you are getting today. Happy Memorial Day.
Sounds like something that would happen to us. Thanks for sharing. I think the $115 was well spent for all the laughs you are getting today. Happy Memorial Day.
Oh man… sounds like a blast!
P.S. Columbine is an incredible read. Probably the best non-fiction book I read last year.
Now see, I don't even own white shorts because I know I'm not responsible enough to keep them clean!
Sorry the whole trip didn't live up to your expectations.
I've only been to six flags once and since I don't ride roller coasters I didn't do a whole lot there.
When we were at Disneyland my son had a similar reaction standing in line for Space Mountain. So I'm being all brave for my son who's scared and crying. Then we all get on it. He's fine, and I'm screaming my lungs out in fear – my eyes pinched closed the whole time. My husband was laughing so hard he was crying. It took him several minutes to catch his breath afterward. Even now when he thinks of it it sends him into giggles and he'll mutter something like, "One long high-pitched shriek…hardly took a breath the whole time..hahahahaha!"
Oh the joys of the amusement park.
Sorry to hear that your trip to the amusement park was such a disaster! It's situations like these that makes my husband weary about going to ANY amusement park with E.
Well at least you can say that you had quite an interesting day at the amusement park! aka. blog fodder
I say the day was a bargain at that price!
Look how much you made us all laugh, worth it, no?
I took The Boy to King's Island (in OH)…after driving a couple of hours, he went on just one ride.
Spent the rest of my time watching him get soaking wet at the Nickelodeon Soak Zone – wish I had thought to bring a book.
Oh, sending many sympathy your way!
And what is up (so to speak) with the chest on Mr. J's new woman? Is that why they call her Wonder Woman?
ROFL! And you'll do it all again next year!
Why is it that much fun comes at such a high cost?
I hope the rest of the weekend is salvageable.
I bought board shorts just for those Six Flags visits. They dry much quicker than regular shorts. And they are black.
My daughter wore a white tank top this past week to Six Flags and came home with a huge brown, muddy stain all over her back from the Mine Train Coaster. We learned to never, ever white to any amusement park too!
I would collapse too after that day! We've never taken our kids to Six Flags. Those long lines always keep us hesitant. We have taken the kids to Playland in Rye, NY. A much smaller park and not too crazy. The kiddie land section is brutally hot and crowded in the peak season. My husband get very cranky at amusement parks. I think he would've enjoyed a visit from that female super hero though
White shorts and I never work out, by the way. Glad that the Little One liked his prizes. My kids get excited about those dinky prizes too.
I guess you wish you could start this day over or not start it at all!
Makes me glad I've stayed home all weekend. I'm glad the ipod touches didn't get wet!
LMAO…Mr.J is having some good tym and you wth a wet underwear and stained white shorts….All for $115…ha!
Me too went to Phili zoo 2de, wearing white shorts and came back wth mud stained ass…