Review: Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen
by Jenners • 06/30/2010 • 4 Stars, J Authors, M Titles, Memoir, Non-Fiction • 24 Comments
Mennonite in a Little Black DressHenry Holt & Company, 2009
ISBN: 978-0-8050-9225-7
224 pages
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir
My Rating: 4 stars
Book Description (from back of book):
Not long after Rhoda Janzen turned forty, her world turned upside down. It was bad enough that her husband of fifteen years left her for Bob, a guy he met on Gay.com, but that same week a car accident left her seriously injured. Needing a place to rest and pick up the pieces of her life, Rhoda packed her bags, crossed the country, and returned to her quirky Mennonite family’s home, where she was welcomed back with open arms and offbeat advice. (Rhoda’s good-natured mother suggested she get over her heartbreak by dating her first cousin—he owned a tractor, see.)
Written with wry humor and huge personality—and tackling faith, love, family, and aging—Mennonite in a Little Black Dress is an immensely moving memoir of healing, certain to touch anyone who has ever had to look homeward in order to move ahead.
My Thoughts
I’m a big fan of memoirs, and my favorite ones feature a writer with a distinctive and funny voice. I’m pleased to report that Rhoda Janzen has such a voice–hilarious, sarcastic, bawdy and honest to a fault. Reading her memoir is like hanging out with a close girlfriend who has bad things happen to her but is able to find the humor in them and make you (and her) laugh.
Much of the humor in this memoir comes from Rhoda’s poking gentle fun at her Mennonite upbringing and family, including her mother (whose choice of appropriate dinnertime conversation often leaves much to be desired). But evident in all the joking is an obvious love and affection for her family and her Mennonite roots. Rhoda makes it clear that, although the Mennonite lifestyle wasn’t a good fit for her personally, there are many positive things about the religion and the lifestyle, especially the food. (A few recipes from Rhoda’s mom were included at the end of my version of the book. Rhoda calls them “shame-based recipes,” in honor of the shame that she and her sister felt when eating them at school. After all, most kids don’t bring borscht for lunch!)
Despite all the humor, Rhoda experienced some serious issues that led her to seek respite in her parent’s home during her divorce. Despite all her jokes about her husband leaving her for a man named Bob, readers get a fuller picture of the realities of life with her husband as we progress through the book. It wasn’t just a matter of “realizing” he was gay; the problems of their marriage were far more deep-rooted, stemming primarily from her husband’s bipolar disorder. Although she is candid and open, I felt that Janzen held back a bit on how difficult things were for her during her marriage and its break-up. It was as if she could only share so much and then had to go for the laugh. Although I understand this need, I felt it kept the memoir from having depth.
My Final Recommendation
In the end, I think Rhoda’s focus on humor and comedy keeps this memoir from being truly excellent (though perhaps the events are still too fresh to examine closely). With the focus squarely on the more comedic aspects of her Mennonite childhood and return home, Janzen’s memoir stays mostly on the light and funny side … yet the reader is very aware that a lot of pain and sadness present in her life. I personally would have liked a little bit more depth and introspection alongside the comedy. However, I recommend the book for memoir fans who like sass and spirited writing. And if you are familiar with the Mennonite religion and community, you might enjoy it even more.
An Excerpt
I chose the following excerpt to share because it reminded me so much of how my own grandmother shared family recipes and I thought it might resonate with you as well.
In the recipe, Oma’s voice comes through, practical and vague, advising her daughter to use whatever she has handy in the larder–butter, or margarine, or even chicken fat. Oma assumed that ingredients would vary according to season and budget. She also assumed that knowledge of the correct quantities would miraculously come to my mother in the night. “Take some milk or some water and warm it and then add it to some flour,” she advised helpfully.
The Whys and Wheres
I’d seen this memoir reviewed on a several book blogs (though I can’t remember which ones now!) and it seemed like it was right up my alley. When a representative from Henry Holt and Company offered me a chance to peruse their catalog and select some books to review, this one was a no-brainer! Much thanks to Henry Holt and Company for my review copy of the book. Look for it in my upcoming July giveaway!
To find out what other bloggers are saying about the book discussed in this post, visit the Book Blogs Search Engine.
You can count this one for the World Religion Challenge, you know.
I love memoirs and have had my eye on this one for awhile – thanks for the review! I may listen to it on audiobook – I like humor on audio.
this does sound good, great review!
I cant believe her husband left her for a man he found on gay,com! It sounds like she went through alot. I think I'd enjoy the humor.
http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/
I might actually like this because of the humor.
I almost bought this the other day. Good thing I didn't…I entered your giveaway instead.
I read a darkly funny book set in a Mennonite community a few years ago…it's fiction and I'm going to have to go google it to remember the title.
(cue elevator music)
A Complicated Kindness, by Miriam Toews. Ever heard of it?
I've seen a review of this somewhere else. (EW? People? IDK) I think it's on my TBR list but I haven't gotten around to it yet.
This sounds like a great memoir – I remember the title really catching my eye, too. Humorous and spirited are two things I really enjoy when reading memoirs!
I love the recipe
A few years ago I videotaped my grandmother making her famous noodles so we could see what she did because no one could ever get a straight answer out of her. A few times she turned so the camera didn't catch exactly how much she put in of a certain ingredient, LOL! Gotta love it.
Thanks for sharing your review. I saw this one and wondered about it. I have read a few memiors that choronicaled events that were fresh on the author's mind and at times I wonder if they would not have been better served if they had perhaps drafted a memior then put it aside before returning to it after a good 10-20 years of introspection.
Love the title of this one! The shame-based recipe idea is hilarous. That's something that has changed in public schools since our childhoods. No ethnic food is too weird–in fact, at my kids' high school, the weirder the food, the cooler it is. The school food is so bad that only the kids who get free lunch take it; most kids pack their lunches.
I've been thinking this would be a good read for the Non-Fiction Five. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.
even though memoirs and I don't play well together, this one sounds palatable. Humor is a great defense mechanism. Wonderful review, Jenners.
Sounds like a fun memoir even though the depth of the situation may not be completely explored. I've always been fascinated by the title of this one.
This one has gotten its share of good reviews. But I think you are right about laughing too much at your dire circumstances. It is good to know, as a reader, that this person was hurting but came out of the other side in one piece. It is a fine line though. One can only take too much of that.
despite my fear of memoirs…a well deserved fear of hurting myself when I throw it against the wall in anger…this one sounds pretty good.
A great title, there are lots of good things being said about this book. I shall be reserving it at the library, thanks for the recommendation Jenners.
I agree to June Freaking Cleaver, Humor is really something to use every day. I love your blog and you have a nice post.
This sounds like a really different, but interesting book. I'm not much into memoirs, but I would certainly be willing to read this one if I won it in your giveaway!
Humor is something I use everyday to keep from screaming epithets in public or careening off mountain roads (I kid).
I think I would love this book…I'll be checking the library for this one!
I just saw this book while coasting down the Target book aisle (just looking, not buying) and this exact title did catch my eye. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I understand your points about too much humor.
EGADS! I have been just DYING to read this one since forever! I'm really glad to hear that this was funny but also had some emotional story to it as well. Memoirs are the best. This sounds like a great one.
Interesting and astute analysis. And I think you are right, that humor is not only a coping mechanism, but a pushing away mechanism as well.
Humor is certainly a coping mechanism and it sounds like the author had to use it in spades. I know what you mean about the memoir not being excellent without a bit more realism though. It just isn't authentic to laugh at everything or never express sadness.
I guess sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.