Review (Of Sorts): 1st To Die by James Patterson
by Jenners • 08/12/2010 • 2 Stars, F Titles, Fiction, Mystery/Thriller, P Authors • 24 Comments
This post is for Challenge 7 of the Take Another Chance Challenge, which is all about breaking reading prejudices. Here is the description of the challenge:
We all have reading prejudices—authors we don’t like, genres we don’t like, or even publishers we don’t like. For this challenge, think of a reading prejudice you have and then find a book that is an example of this type of book. Read the book and then write about the reading prejudice you had BEFORE you read the book and how reading the book either changed your prejudice or reinforced it.
One of my personal reading prejudices concerns James Patterson. In short, I think his books suck. Why do I feel this way? Did giving him another chance by reading his book 1st To Diechange my mind? Let’s find out…
Dear Mr. James Patterson:
I know you’ve had a lot of commercial success with your books. When I tried to find out how many you’ve written (because it seems like you publish a new one every three days), I found that you’ve published 57 books. And I see on your web site that you have about 4 or 5 new releases on the way.
Lately, it seems like you’ve spent a lot of time pairing up with other writers. In fact, one of your upcoming thrillers is a collaboration with a Swedish writer. (Can I be forgiven for thinking the worst about this choice of co-author … that you’re trying to cash in on the Steig Larsson phenomenon?) It seems to me that you are becoming more and more of a brand than a writer.
My dislike of your books began when I tried a few of your Alex Cross books. This was about the time when they were making all those movies based on the Alex Cross books, so I thought I’d see what all the hype was about. I was rather disappointed. The writing was nothing special … in fact it seemed like you were writing for the lowest common denominator. The language was simple, the characterization was minimal, and the plotting was ridiculous.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hoity-toity “I only read great lit-er-a-chur” type of reader. I’ll get as down and dirty as the next gal. (Did I mention that I like the Twilight books?) I’m really quite a free-and-easy reader. But to me, your books read like kindergartner versions of thrillers. So after two Alex Cross books, I decided not to read any more of your books.
Since that time, you’ve continued on (apparently my little boycott did nothing to impact your sales figures or productivity). You seem to have lots of fans out there. And your books litter the racks at any airport book store, and every so often one of your new releases storm the blogging world and take over for a few days. So when it came time to break a prejudice for a reading challenge, I thought I’d give you another chance.
To give you the best possible shot, I chose the first book of your Women’s Murder Club series. I know it was developed into a TV show (which I never watched), and there have been several of these books published now. (Though I see the rest have been with a co-author. I’d love to know more about how that works exactly.) And, of course, it had the coveted #1 New York Times Bestseller designation. (Not to say that this is an arbiter of quality, but I guess it does denote popularity.) Anyway, I prepared to read this book with an open mind. If I was going to give you another shot, I wanted it to be fair.
But I have to say that you lost me fairly early on. First of all, your chapters (of which there are 126 in this book) are really really short … like 1 or 2 pages short. Because each chapter starts on a new page, there are quite a few pages where there were only a paragraph or two on a page, which makes for a lot of white space. So what initially seemed like a long book (462 pages) was actually quite deceptive, which is how I found myself almost 90 pages in before I even realized it.
Second, your writing (once again) struck me as really really simplified and dumbed down. There was no wit, humor, word play or clever turns of phrase. Just page after page of straightforward rat-a-tat-tat writing that kept the story moving but didn’t engage my brain in the least.
As far as characterization, there didn’t seem to be much at all. Lindsay Boxer (our “heroine”) starts the book ready to blow her brains out. But yet I never really felt one bit of connection to her whatsoever, and though you saddled her with a “probably fatal” disease (that miraculously starts to heal itself in just a few weeks) and a romance that ends in tragedy, I still felt nothing for her at the end of the book. She could have blown her brains out and I wouldn’t have shed a single tear.
Now where I really got annoyed was the plot, which was completely and utterly ridiculous and unbelievable. Do you really expect me to believe that an Inspector with the San Francisco Police Department would impulsively form a “club” of women (a reporter, a medical examiner and a DA) to work together on a high-profile murder case? Do you really think that in the midst of such a high-profile murder case, the lead detective would take a weekend off to go away with her new lover (who also happens to be her partner)? Did you really expect me to accept the gimmick of using an earthquake to further your plot without a fight?
Now I’ve never worked in a police department or as a detective, but from reading other thrillers, the stuff that you have Lindsay Boxer do in this book just seems laughable and ridiculous. Even Stephanie Plum’s work day seems more plausible to me than what you have Lindsay doing. Now I know your fans are probably saying “But his books are fast-paced and easy to read and fun. Who cares if they make sense or are believable? Who cares if the writing isn’t Pulitzer Prize material? You’re thinking too much.” And perhaps I am.
But I do care … about what I read. After reading books by Michael Chabon and Jeffrey Eugenedies in the past few weeks, I’ve spent time in the presence of masterful writers who have something to say and tools to say it with. They are the writers that should be selling in the millions (and probably aren’t). Theirs are the types of books I wish America was snapping up for their flights. And there are a lot of other brilliant, thoughtful, masterfully written books out there. Even thrillers. (Check out Stieg Larsson’s Millennium series if you want an example. Or Greg Iles books. Or Nelson DeMille. Or Lisa Gardner. Hell, I’d even take Erica Spindler over your books.)
It seems ridiculous for me to waste my time on your books when there is smorgasbord of delectable and worthwhile books just waiting for me to pick them up. So, we’re finished, Mr. Patterson. You and I are done. Kaput. I know it won’t make a lick of difference to your sales figures, but I feel better having gotten this off my chest.
Sincerely, Jenners
P.S. Oh, I almost forgot to include the one line that I bookmarked in 1st To Die that gave me pause:
Kathy was a women who hoped to satisfy her own vague artistic aspirations through an association with someone engaged in the act of creating. She wanted to write herself. It’s not exactly brain surgery, but I guess if it was so damn easy we’d all have a book on the bestseller list, right?
Touche, Mr. Patterson. Touche.
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Oooh, nice pan! Never heard of him, but you've made a convert. I'm a hater!
Should I divulge the secret that I learned at National Book Festival? Patterson's books with co-authors are not his writing. He gives the ideas to the co-authors and they write them and he edits. Can you believe this?
I knew something was up when I read some of the co-authored books and the style changed significantly. There are just some really bad writers out there and when he pairs with them, look out!
My mom loves his books, and I can't begrudge her that because he got her reading after never wanting to read ever. So she can read him all she likes…but now I've got her branching out!
My Mom keeps passing his books along to me and they do have their place. As a very nervous flyer they are perfect because they don't demand too much of my attention. And they are okay in the car since I don't have to be fully tuned in. But I do agree with you on almost everything. Wonder if Patterson read your post?
Did my original comment not make it through? Hmm.
Anyway, loved how you made all these points!
And, that quote you shared with us? I winced, especially with the sentence, "She wanted to write herself" which is so grammatically incorrect!
I don't think I'll try him, but the sad thing is, he isn't hurting because I won't
.
I agree completely! My mom liked the Women's Murder Club, but I don't think I could even finish the first book. Kudos for reading to the end of a JP book just to take the challenge! It made a great blog post.
you are SO right. his books are predictable
and sophomoric.
now, you are going to turn green. i sat
next to michael chabon last year at a
fundraiser. not only is he a fantastic
author, but he is totally dreamy!
Great post! And interesting challenge.
I havent read JP yet, but I do have one of his books in my TBR.
I dont like it when authors mass produce books like that though…I prefer quality to quantity.
http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/
I've had several of his books in my possession in the past, but haven't ever read any. I guess I dodged a bullet on that one.
What you said about worthy writers not selling millions reminded me of "How I Became a Famous Novelist."
Well you already know that I've enjoyed the Alex Cross and Women's Murder Club ones. I never liked any of his other books. I'm trying to remember when I started reading his books and I think it was when I was in college and I only had short spurts to read (aka on the bus) and the short chapters helped! There's nothing I dislike more than having to stop reading in a middle of a chapter or even before a break within a chapter. But I do believe I have graduated beyond James Patterson, though I'd probably still pick up an Alex Cross / Women's Murder Club for some mindless reading.
I do agree with your post though… it really is simple reading, but sometimes that's what you need to get away from your day for a while.
But Kudos to you for reading a book you normally wouldn't!
I always see a TON of his books at my library's used bookstore. I think I can see why!
The Big Guy insists he gets paid by the chapter, that's why there's so many of them. Just a theory . . .
Entertaining review!! My sister loves James Patterson, but I don't think I've read a single one of his books. Based on this, I don't think I'll get in a big rush to read one now (not that I was contemplating it…).
Great post! I have not read any of Patterson's 1st To Die series I have however been introduced to him more recent audios and have to admit I love his audios. The Mike Batterson series blows me away but here is the kicker – I have not read any of his recent publishing's, only have listened to them. That said – the audios are fantastic. I am not sure if it is the narrator, the sound effects, the story line or what – but, I now look forward to them.
Reading your thoughts here, I wonder if I would feel the same if I would have attempted to read these books?
Either way – loved your post!
Maybe we can start a revolution? No, probably not, because there will always be people who are attracted to Patterson's style of writing. Always. I actually heard that in many of the books with his name on the front, he just comes up with the general plot, then he has a team of ghost writers do the work. I even tried his YA series, Maximum Ride, and the kids and I could barely get through the first book.
Great letter! I boycott Tom Cruise, but he still seems to make movies and money. Maybe he's in cahoots with Patterson?
I try to give authors a second chance. I do. But Mr. Patterson? He probably won't get a second chance from me.
Jen,
I'm right with you about JP's books. You've actually finished reading more than one of them. When I first saw the SHORT chapters, that was it for me. There are too many good books out there to waste my time on him. And I always wonder, why the collaborators each time ?
BTW, love your blog ! Have a great day !
long ago, I admit i read a few of his books..they were ok.
then he started with the "co-authors" who, he admits actually write the books where he supplies the "idea".
Wow, you thing he might take advantage of the Larsson phenomenon! I am shocked..lol
Good review! I have never picked up one of his books. I'm not sure why but I've never gotten into any thriller series. It seems like the plots are always ridiculous. Thanks for making me laugh. I love the quote from his own book. HILARIOUS! Maybe writing well is a little harder than he thinks!
Haha, you crack me up.
I am not a huge JP fan, but I do enjoy reading his books now and again. I actually like the short chapters. They help my A.D.D. brain plus I feel like I can press on since I know the next chapter isn't going to be 15 pages.
I don't like the Alex Cross books at all. I enjoyed the movie Kiss the Girls, but I didn't care for the book Along Came a Spider when I read it this past year. It was bor-ing. I like the Women's Murder Club better. But I still think the best one he wrote that I've read wasn't part of a series, it was called The Beach House. It went a little more than surface deep I thought.
I COMPLETELY agree about the co-authors. That's how he can churn out so many books. I wonder if he just comes up with the plot and the other person writes them, or what the deal is. I want it explained myself! He did a guest spot on that detective/mystery writer show Castle one time poking a little fun at himself putting out so many books in a year.
This is the same way I felt after reading a couple of Dean Koontz books when I was a teen. I didn't think it was possible to write an entire story with three to five word sentences. It was just too simple, too dumbed down. I'm not a book snob about anything but quality. I demand it.
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Wonderful post and all so very sadly true. There is no justice Jenners. But you did your bit – thank you
Some books are candy, some books are a feast. It all depends what you have a taste for.
If you're in the mood for chocolate, would something meaty and heavy satisfy you?
Sometimes, a little Alex Cross hits the spot (and, in the right mood, Stephanie Plum can be a peach of a read for me).
I just hope I never develop a taste for bodice rippers…that is my prejudice.
If someone recommended one that wasn't so much marshmallow fluff, I'd probably give it a try.
Wonderful post, and as you do so often, made me laugh. But I laughed even harder when it was closely followed into my google reader by this..
http://socratesbookreviews.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-favorite-reads.html
Like they say – one man's poison…!!