Writer’s Workshop: An Ill-Advised Canoe Trip
by Jenners • 08/11/2010 • Lessons Learned, My Childhood, Travels, Writers Workshop • 29 Comments
This week, I’m choosing Prompt 4: The craziest reason I ever got in trouble as a child.
Although 15 is probably stretching the definition of “child,” this prompt immediately made me think of one of the craziest reasons I ever got in trouble so I think it counts.
The Scene: A family camping trip at Waterton Lakes National Park (a gorgeous park in Canada that borders the U.S.—a fact that is important to my story)
The Players: 15-year-old me and my best friend (who I’ll call Catherine because that was her name), who was visiting me for the summer
The Stunt: Absconding with the family canoe (which my dad got for a penny with our pop-up camper—the scene of more miserable camping experiences than I could ever tell you about)
The Details: The previous day, we’d all gone on a hike that took us from Canada to the U.S. border. It didn’t seem all that long, so the next day, my friend Catherine and I decided to take the canoe and replicate this trip but on the water. We neglected to mention this little plan to my parents and just took off paddling.
Well, we paddled and paddled and paddled and eventually we reached the U.S. border. Did I mention that it was a hot day and I kept splashing myself with water as I paddled to cool down? And did I mention that the canoe was metal? And acted as a reflector of some kind? (This is a literary device known as foreshadowing.) So we reached the border and turned around to go back, but suddenly the water seemed a little choppy and rough. Not being complete idiots, we realized that paddling straight back across the water might not be the wisest idea. So we decided to stay close to the shore. This slowed our progress significantly, but at least we were safe.
Minutes ticked by and became an hour. An hour went by and become 90 minutes. I kept splashing myself with water to cool my aching arms and hot skin. Finally, we saw the shore that we had come from and started paddling across the water to the beach. As we got closer, I noticed a boat coming toward us. A ranger boat. A ranger boat with a figure standing at the front of it. A figure whose arms were crossed. A figure that, as it got closer, looked an awful lot like my father. The ranger boat got closer to us as we waved and called “Hello! Hello!” The boat pulled up next to us, and my dad snarled “Get back to shore NOW.” He was pissed. Really pissed. More pissed than I’d ever seen him.
Then I saw another figure standing on the beach. With her arms crossed. My mother. She looked pissed too. “Uh-oh,” I murmured. “I think we’re in trouble.” We paddled slower and slower and slower but eventually reached the shore where my parents stood waiting. (I suspect that the worry and concern they had felt had now been channeled into fury as it tends to do once you realize your loved one is safe but had done something incredibly foolhardy.) I could feel the anger radiating off them. My dad started yelling about how stupid we had been to disappear like that, that they had been terrified of what had happened to us, how they’d involved the park ranger to look for us. He yelled at me … and, in a sign of how mad he was, he also yelled at Catherine (thereby breaking the cardinal rule that you yell at your own kid but your kid’s friend gets off scott-free). My mother said nothing, but she was much scarier than my dad.
We explained how we had decided to canoe to the U.S. border and how we were gone so long because we were concerned about the choppy waters and had stuck close to the shoreline. I attempted to make them see that we had, indeed, made a good decision and acted appropriately. My parents didn’t see it that way.
My dad finished his tirade and left us to my mother. In a low even voice, she said to me, “You just lost your learner’s permit and are grounded for the rest of the summer.” To Catherine, she said, “I will be calling your mother to tell her what you two did, but while you are in my house for the remainder of this trip, you will not be leaving my sight.” We followed her sheepishly to the camp site where my brothers had a lot of fun at our expense.
Later that evening, I began to feel pain all over my body. It was sunburn. Bad sunburn. All exposed areas of my body—which I’d been splashing with water all day while sitting in a metal canoe—was red all over. It was starting to hurt really bad. My mother refused to give me anything to soothe the pain as part of my punishment. It was a miserable night, and frankly I barely remember the rest of the trip or visit with Catherine. (Though I know her mom punished her severely.)
The Epilogue: For years later, I never heard the end of this. Whenever I ask to borrow a car on visits home (even up to the age of 40), everyone in my family says “Are you going to disappear for hours and try to drive to Canada?” Yeah, guys. HAHA. Really funny. This happened more than 20 years ago. GET OVER IT!
My dad later admitted that, although worried, he was more pissed off because I took the canoe and he couldn’t use it.
My mom (who did treat my sunburn the next day) was hesitant to trust me afterwards … despite previous years of unrelenting Ms. Goodie Two Shoes behavior. Jeez … you paddle away without an itinerary just one time and suddenly you’re “irresponsible?”
Catherine and I would make additional ill-advised trips together … though never when under the direct supervision of my parents. We later dubbed them Goof Trips. Looking back now, it is a miracle that we survived our time together.
I never canoed again.
Still feeling my skin start to burn just thinking about a canoe,
There are a few errors in your recollection of this incident. The first being that the canoe is made of a rusty red plastic. It’s sitting on the back patio with the paddle you probably used that day. It has held up incredibly well for a penny canoe. Second, you sense of time seems to have been warped by the extreme sunburn you suffered. You both looked like lobsters from the mountain sun … because you were gone for nearly 5 hours! I remember each painful minute because my friend Mark and I were to get our turn in the canoe in 1 hour which was the time you and Caherine had been alloted. We never got our turn as you know. So we whipped mom and dad into a frenzy when you were gone an hour and we reminded them it was our turn and you guys were not even in sight let alone headed back to the shore where we were anxiously waiting our turn. We kept the pressure with our whining about how unfair the whole thing was but were delighted and surprised when dad got the Canadian rangers involved. We skipped stones for hours waiting for your return and the spectacle of mom’s cold, controlled wrath. So dad wasn’t pissed because he didn’t get to use the canoe, Mark and I were. It seems worth it now though realizing how this incident has marked your entire life and canoe usage. Maybe we can haul it back up there one summer and paddle back to the U.S. together thereby acheiving perfect sibling settlment of old scars? A healing journey with lots of sunscreen and beautiful blue water!
What a fun story. Sad to see it ruined canoeing for you for life!
Awesome use of foreshadowing. I felt totally foreshadowed.
I felt so bad for you! Just out trying to have a bit of adventure…you poor (ornery) girl!
I don't think I'd go out in a canoe after that again either!
holy cow – you were fried and in big trouble.
can't believe your mom wouldn't give you anything for the sunburn. that will tell you.
that was ill advised…we have a canoe and it is one of my least favorite things to do.
That scary, silent parent stare is the worst! I remember it well
Oddly enough I feel the urge to tease you about you crispy fried trip in a canoe.
Such a fun and wonderfully written story.
Oh and I have never gone over to your book reviews blog until today. Wow. I could spend hours reading all your reviews.
Haha, you and your sense of adventure! You never cease to amaze me
I just knew that your story was going to involve the word "sunburn" when you brought up the METAL canoe and the blazing hot sun. Well, look on the bright side…at least you didn't accidentally cross the border and got in trouble with border patrol 
I'm pretty sure that will definitely make your parents feel even happier about your impromptu trip 
Ahhhh… the pop-up camper. Right you are about the miseries of a pop-up vacation. I hate anything having to do with campers for pretty much the same reason, though mine involved my mother-in-law. Tough to have to live with the sins of childhood for the rest of your life. I bet Canada, too, lost some of its allure that day.
Hilarious! I never….ever did anything bad as a child. *cough*
Oh wow — bless your heart! I almost never did anything bad, but whenever I did, I got caught. And punished!! I'd say that at least you have good memories of your canoe trip, but they don't sound that great, really. So, umm… at least you have a good story?
All I was thinking in my mind was "border patrol" and did they have their passports? LOL I can see why he'd be upset but not THAT mad? You wanna go for a canoe trip?
What a fabulous story! I like your adventurous spirit (reminds me of how I was in my younger years) but as a parent, I can see how they flipped out and hope my kids don't follow in my footsteps!
Yikes!!!
It sounds like something I would have done at that age too! And would have tried to justify it as well!
WOW…camping, pop up campers..now my own childhood is creeping back, argh! LOL what a great tale! Thanks for sharing, I just found a new blogger to follow, YOU!
Marti
But tell me it wasn't worth it?
haha
It's funny how the silent parent is always waaaaaaay scarier than the one who yells. I need to make a note of that somewhere.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sorry you got so sunburned but think you were smart staying near shore on the way back. I'm sure your dad was indeed mostly upset because he was planning to use the canoe. I only canoed in small creeks with lots of shady trees along the side. I loved it!
My parents still talk about when I wet the bed at the age of 3. (Only 37 years ago.) Pretty sure they would arrange to have something like this put on my tombstone.
Oh my, you being gone such a long time must have been seriously worrying for your parents, imagining you both drowned somewhere. Oh my, payback for such things of course will be when our own children do their version of such things
Oh my you were a hand full. I'm laughing out loud, my son is looking at me like I've lost a loose screw. Must visit you more often here.
Yeah my patents would have been furious too. One of the few times in my life that I got grounded was when I was in the wrong state, also at the age of 15
OMG…this completely takes me back to my own "worst childhood infraction" which, like yours, really occurred in my teens. At least yours was more an error of ommission. Mine…was a little more deliberate.
I keep meaning to try these writer's prompts for my own blog…and then I forget and write about something completely lame or just post pictures instead.
Thanks for the laugh!
This is just like my craziest reason that I got in trouble in that it contains its own punishment. I was like 14 and Sun-In was popular. I begged and begged and my parents said no. But of course a friend (blonde) had some and I applied it liberally to my nice, dark brown hair. Well, of course, my mom went through my drawers (putting laundry away for me? yeah right) and found the bottle. I got in tons of trouble but nothing was a worse punishment than finding out what Sun-In does to brown hair — turns it a pleasant shade of orange. I'll have to dig out a picture to share with you.
I'm dying to know what the Asian characters about say.
That does sound like some adventure. Wow! Hopefully no permanent skin damage?
I'd have a strong dislike for canoes after that.
Wait, you still have never canoed? you do know about sunscreen, right? I think we all need our little goof trips! Love that name for it!
Your stories always crack me up!
Such bad, bad girls! If you tried this today, it would become an international incident, because you'd be coming into the US without the proper identification.
And don't you be dissin' the pop-up camper – no finer camping equipment was ever built…and I'm too upset to even mention how you describe camping…
Glad it all turned out okay…were you at least wearing life vests?