Writer’s Workshop: Some Long Drives
by Jenners • 08/04/2010 • Love and Loss, Travels, Writers Workshop • 30 Comments
This week, I’m choosing Prompt 4: A long drive…
As we learned from Einstein (though, to be honest, I never really did learn this and only came to his whole Theory of Relativity via a movie or book), time is relative. The five minutes we spend in a hot bubble bath goes by much more quickly than the five minutes we spend listening to a child throw a tantrum. The same can be applied to car trips. One of the longest drives I ever attempted in terms of miles and time was a breeze compared to other much shorter drives that felt like they lasted forever. Allow me to elaborate…
One of my longest solo drives was at the end of college when I decided to drive from my college town of Eugene, Oregon all the way through to my family’s home in Great Falls, Montana (827.69 miles/13 hours). I was supposed to do drive this in two days (stopping in Spokane, Washington for the night). However, when I hit Spokane in the early afternoon, I was in a groove and decided to drive straight through. If you’ve ever been on a long car trip, you know the groove I’m talking about–where you are one with the car, the tunes are perfect, the weather is cooperating, and the scenery serves as a perfect backdrop to your daydreaming as you speed along the open road. It was a marvelous experience, and I envisioned myself as Thelma and Louise (minus the problems with the law and the suicide by cliff at the end). I just made one tiny mistake. I took the time to call my family around 7:00 p.m. on a mountain pass to tell them what I was doing. My mom instantly went into a panic and insisted that they meet me as I was “too tired” to drive all this way. I wasn’t too tired … I was high on adrenaline and road trip joy. I was not pleased at all to have my incredibly long drive cut short by a “rescue.” The irony is that by the time I met up with them, I was only 30 minutes outside of Great Falls. It was like running a marathon and then stopping 10 feet from the finish line. I was kind of pissed … but not nearly as pissed as my mom was for me attempting this drive on my own.
However, since then, I’ve had much longer drives, such as:
- the excruciating 20 minutes it took to drive back to our hotel on Captiva Island as Mr. Jenners frantically searched for a restroom (there were none) while I writhed and screamed in pain while trying to hold in explosive diarrhea brought on by eating too much ice cream.
- the horrific 15 minutes we drove in a vomit-filled car after the Little One threw up all over himself while on vacation in Las Vegas. If you’ve ever driven in the heat in a car filled with vomit, you’ll know that such a drive is much much longer than a 400-mile drive in cool weather and a fresh-smelling car. Both Mr. Jenners and I were struggling not to lose it ourselves. I’ve been a lifelong “sympathy vomiter,” and it was a miracle I didn’t lose my lunch while driving in that pukemobile.
- the 1.5 hour ride from Orlando to Tampa with the Little One when he was a toddler and would not stop crying unless we sang The Wheels on The Bus. My throat was raw and scratchy and after listening to my off-key singing and endless variations about who was on the damn bus, I wondered if just listening to him cry or turning the radio up loud wouldn’t be a viable alternative.
- the 3 hour bus ride from Missoula, Montana to Great Falls, Montana after my plane broke down on my way home from college was almost unbearable due to the crowded hot bus, my overweight-snoring-stinky seatmate whose head kept flopping onto me, and the vomit-inducing scent of diesel mixed with restroom odors. And did I mention that the batteries on my Walkman (remember those!?) had died and I had nothing to distract me from the hell around me? I vowed never to ride Greyhound again.
- almost any car trip with the Little One once he has run out of entertainment or has just had too much of sitting and begins asking “are we there yet? are we almost there?” ever 15 seconds automatically makes a trip seem 100x longer than it is. Which makes me wonder why we think it is a good idea to attempt to drive from New Jersey to South Carolina in three weeks.
But of all these painful, smelly, uncomfortable or annoying long drives, the single longest drive of my life was the 1.5 hour, midnight drive from our home in New Jersey to a hospital in Bethlehem, PA that I drove while 8 months pregnant to get Mr. Jenners to the bedside of his dying father before time ran out after getting the “You need to come RIGHT NOW” call from my sister-in-law. It was a drive that, although I exceeded the speed limit the entire time, seemed endless and, in the end, took too long as we weren’t able to make it in time. I doubt any other drive will be as long or as painful as that one.
Wishing you pleasant-smelling and safe driving for all your trips,
This is why I'm so glad I live in a place that has so many options for public transportation
I really didn't like driving much to begin with but those times when a short trip can feel like a lifetime really made me dislike it even more. Of course a 10min train ride with a grumpy toddler is just as awful. Probably why we never go anywhere anymore 
As funny and kind of sad as this post was, the only thing that sticks out to me is, YOU ARE COMING TO SC?!? When and where? I live in SC. It sure would be fun to take a little drive to meet my good friend Jenners.
Oh, I've done the sing 'til you can't twice. Once for son, I've Been Working On the Railroad was his "quiet" song.
Once for Daughter, You Are My Sunshine.
Interesting, several puke stories. Not fun in any way. Yuk.
We just got back from a road trip to Northern CA to visit Grandma. We left at 6:00 on tuesday night and pulled up at 7:35 AM, 742 miles later. Not bad. I like long road trips. The kids and Hubby were asleep for well over half my time driving and it was great.
Trip back was pretty good too. I love road trips.
Surely ever mother can relate. And that final drive was especially evocative framed against all the other ones.
Nice writing!
=)
You are right those COME RIGHT NOW drives are the longest and hardest.
I love your summary of long (short) drives. Definitely makes you want to go – ahhh!
My longest drive has been the last year – since my daughter got her permit. The endless driving practice, my worn out floorboard, and the frustrating thought of – is she EVER going to get it???
I am hoping in the next few weeks she does pass the test for her license. She failed when she tried it the first time. Darn parallel parking!
We did a "we can just push through" on a trip from Colorado Springs to Seattle. We didn't want to stop in Spokane either (is there something majorly wrong with that place?) so we finished the entire drive in like 22 hours! It was awful. I have trouble with bathrooms that aren't my own and so I had been constipated for a week. Enough said.
Are you lactose intolerant? The husband is and we had many emergency stops before he figured it out. Now that we have Lactaid, we have less pit stops! And, sadly, he just avoids ice cream altogether now.
If I were you, I wouldn't go anywhere in a car with the Little One until he's into double digits… Or buy a portable DVD player for your own sanity.
Very nicely written piece. It was funny, nauseating,and touching. I literally laughed, almost vomited (as I recalled similar experiences with my children in a car), and very nearly cried at the end. Ah! Car rides. Got me thinking about my own. Loved it!
I so agree about the road trips with kids! Imagine the "Are we there yet?" multiplied by 2 plus fighting and screaming.
Oh that last drive is so sad, so sorry. And yes screaming kids can make anything seem long. Toddlers and long car trips just seem to induce vomiting. I think they drink too much and don't eat enough..at least that is what happened with the oldest two.
Thelma and Louise ends with their suicide? Oh well I can scratch that off my list of films to see
I've had a few long car rides but since I held onto my stomach (and other bodily contents)I don't think they merit repeating.
I remember we'd be laying all over the place..cant' even imagine.. can't of like inside a flying torpedo. the speed limit I think was 70 or something???
That last one is a heart breaker, doll.
When I was young my parents thought it a good idea to drive from Minnesota to Orlando to take us to Disneyworld. We had the 'red beast', a behemouth of a station wagon with no air conditioning. Did I mention that this was in June or July? I recall that we had a baby crip mattress in the 'way back' for my sister who was about 5 at the time, I had the middle seat to myself (seat belts? what seat belts?), there was a cooler full of balogne sandwiches, and a child's portable toilet. Fun times.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Your post was inspired.Vomit is definitely the worst. Years ago, our then-ten-year-old son puked all over Senor's brand new car. That was tough. I once made the mistake of throwing our two neurotic, unhappy, feline escape artists (sans carrier) in the car for a move to a new house. Senor, driving the second car, had to get out and run ahead of me to put my toll in the basket, because I was afraid to open the window. Howling and trying to climb on the dashboard in front the the wheel. The cats, not Senor.
Hi there! Visiting from Mama Kat's!
Thank you for picking my prompt as I am right behind you in the link up!
I truly enjoyed your little stories…even the vomit one
I've experienced that one!
I laughed and I cried through this…great job!
Lindy
I tell my kids all the time, "How do you expect us to survive the 24 hour trip to Disney World someday if you can't even make this 30 minute drive?" Vomit in the car is not fun at all. You should see my husband complain like he's the one who'll have to clean it up!
Oh Jenners, I think the one reason why I enjoy your writing so much (well, actually there are several, but the one I will focus on today) is that in the midst of your personal stories I always find a little bit of myself. The long vacation drives (texas to colorado for three summers in a row when I am very prone to motion sickness), the child throwing up all over me on a cab ride to the LaGuardia airport, and the early Saturday morning hustle to Bella Vista to say good-bye to my Dad after he suffered a massive heart attach the day before.
I wish I had the sense of humor to accompany the not-so-pleasant memories
Fantastic post. You had me laughing all the way through until that very last drive you describe when my heart just went out to you. That must have just been awful.
As for vomit in the car, well I would have vomited too and thank my lucky stars my daughter has never (yet) done that.
I have found all car journeys to be so very much pleasanter and seemingly much shorter lived since I weaned my daughter off the Wiggles Turkey song which had to be played over and over again. Now we listen to Gwen Stefani, Black Eyed Peas and other things far less aggravating
My longest trip was from Western PA to San Diego – with two kids in the car.
Up to that point, the furthest I had ever driven was across the state of PA.
Not the same thing, I found out.
Oh that last drive you talked about would be the worst!!!
I have had so many similar trips, it's scary!
Although I've had long trips, the ones I remember the most are the every other weekend trips home to So. Cal from San Francisco!
Wow, lots of vomit stories! We went through The Wheels on the Bus thing with my niece too. Then the last time I saw her (now 6) I started singing it and she looked at me like I was crazy. So all that singing was FOR NOTHING!!!!!
Oh, those Bladder pains while going to Newyork or Maryland, stuck in traffic are the Hopeless ones….Needless to say I HAVE TO GO to RESTROOM when I know I am not going to find one soon…
We have secret bathroom places we can stop in case of explosive diarrhea. And I'm a sympathy vomitter too! Plus, after my last pregnancy, I'm really good at pulling over anywhere to have a good vomit.
B's family didn't make it either.
Wheels on the bus for 1.5 hours? ACK! And the vomit thing almost made me have to stop eating my chocolate-covered pretzels..almost. Sorry that Mr. Jenners didn't make it in time- sounds like you did everything you could.
Driving home from Florida to Texas, straight. It was hard, but worth it. And every single day when I worked an hour away from home. That made for some really long drives in Houston traffic.
I too have been on some long car rides like one where Hayden screamed for a whole 2 hours. It was awesome. I drove 90 but it still took forever.
4 years ago, my sister in law called me and said we needed to be 2 hours south right then too. We didn't make it either. Lost my mother in law only 15 minutes before we pulled into the hospital parking lot. I made a solid 2 hour drive in under 45 minutes.
Have had other similar road trip experiences. This past Monday an hour drive to the airport to pick up my beau that felt like it only took 10 minutes. The 10 minute wait for him to get off the plane and to my van seemed like an hour.
I have had a few drives like yours…..resulting in explosive diarrhea on the side of the road……..