Somehow I Blinked…And You Turned 6
by Jenners • 09/24/2010 • BB/The Little One • 75 Comments
Dear Little One,
Happy 6th Birthday!
Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that you were born? Maybe you don’t remember … but I sure do! And yet somehow my tiny little baby turned into the gangly 6-year-old boy I see today.
I have to tell you, you’re a mass of contradictions these days. Allow me to explain.
- You constantly tell me how you want to do things “all by myself “… yet you still call me to wipe your bottom after a poop. (Could you work on this a little harder? It is getting really old.)
- You’ve begun to adopt the mannerisms of a disinterested and bored teenager … yet you are seemingly incapable of understanding sarcasm. (In my mind, the two should go hand in hand.)
- You are maddeningly technical and logical and smart about so much (Me: “We’ll do that in a couple of minutes.” You: “You mean two minutes, correct?”)…yet you really believe that your Toy Story toys are moving by themselves. (Hint: Isn’t it funny how they only move when I’m left alone in the room with them and you hide in the closet but they don’t move when I hide in the closet with you? Think about it.)
- You insist that you can pick out and coordinate your own clothes…yet there is no planet on which a bright orange t-shirt, bright red shorts, black socks, and brown sneakers look good together.
Yet even with your mind-boggling ability to generate dangerous levels of noise pollution, your refusal to eat any kind of meat other than precooked frozen chicken nuggets or fish sticks and your misguided belief that you have a God-given right to play all day long, I’m more amazed, delighted, amused, impressed and astounded by you every day. Why, just this afternoon, your little song and dance routine about karate had me in stitches. (But, as usual, you got a laugh and overdid things by doing it over and over and over and over again. Remember what Daddy told you — it is only funny the first three times?)
Keep up the good work! You’re the light of my life, and I’m so excited to see the amazing and super cool person you are becoming. (But seriously, I so wish you had volume control or a mute switch.)
Love,
Mommy (though sadly you’ve started calling me Mom in front of your friends. Sniff!)
P.S. I’m working my butt off to give you a really fun birthday party tomorrow, but I did decide to splurge on a fancy store-bought cake. After all, we don’t want a repeat of this horror show from last year.
Remember this debacle from last year?
Time flies to quickly! I now have only one child left under 20.
Breathe every moment in and hold it close you’ll need those moments so soon you will be shocked. 
Now the wiping butt moments you can let go of, lol. Thankful those are long gone.
It is funny how when you are IN the moment, you don’t savor them. Thanks for the reminder to do that!
I hope he had a great birthday and I remember that cake from last year…it sure was yummy thought wasn’t it?
Last year’s cake WAS yummy … just embarrassing looking!
I was eating my lunch when I read that poop comment! Classic! Happy Birthday to the wee one. The Girl is turning 7 in a week and it was if she just woke up one day large, when the stretch marks on my body indicate otherwise.
Isn’t it ridiculous how fast they grow up? Happy Early Birthday to your girl!
Yes nothing like hearing “mom wipe my butt!”. Luckily I have finally got Lucas to do his own now just working on Alex.
Do you have any secrets you can share?
I have a six year old too and this sounds all too familiar. We deal with the mismatched clothes daily and the lack of understanding sarcasm. Luckily the butt wiping thing ended a little earlier for us. I hope he had a great birthday!
I hope we end our butt wiping phase really really soon!
Happy birthday to your son! My 6-year-old tries so much to be like his older brother that he entirely skipped the Toy Story phase – I was so sad about that. The bonus is that we breezed right through the bottom-wiping phase.
Best of luck with that!
A volume control would be nice, wouldn’t it? If I had a nickel for every time I said, “Use your inside voice”. . .
I hope he has a wonderful birthday! (Can’t wait to see the cake!)
The cake this year was gorgeous!!! I totally had Mr. Jenners photograph it so I can blog about it. And it tasted good too! So glad I outsourced that aspect of the party!
Happy Birthday to your son. This post was too funny and totally mom. I think I’ll go give her a call. Hope the party went well and that all the birthday wishes come true.
The party ended about an hour ago … and I need a good long nap to recover!
Ah, hope the party went well today. Did you survive? The noise levels of six-year-olds is off the record!
I thought last year’s cake looked delicious!
The party ended an hour ago. I’m sweaty, exhausted and need a nap. I forgot to factor in the reality of 6 6-year-olds. ACK!
Hope you have a great birthday party and a really cool cake:)
Mr. Jenners just came home with the cake and it is so awesome! You know I will be blogging it!
Wasn’t it just like yesterday that you were making that “other” birthday cake? It just seems like I read that post yesterday. Where is the time going?!?!?
Love the Toy Story part – I’ll have to try that with my little guy. It actually feels like we have our own little Toy Story saga going on here. Buzz or Woody doll will disappear for a day or two to T Rex’s utter dismay. Then a couple days later we’ll find them on the floor somewhere. Kind of makes you wonder…
Love the new digs!
You have to tell him that they are playing hide and seek with him whenever he can’t find them. That will turn his frown upside down!
Happy Birthday, LO!
I’m considering calling him Mr. Little Jenners now that he is such a big boy!
By the time you get the whole cake thing down, you’ll be making that high school graduation cake…it’s just around the corner.
Well, I hope by then I can make a much more attractive cake!
So as a fellow mom, I was laughing out loud while reading this post and then I stopped cold. And almost started crying. Why? Because it dawned on me that your child is 6. Mine is 4. That means I have at least two MORE freaking years of the above behavior, which is identical to what goes on in this house.
I don’t know if I can handle two more years.
Help me.
OR your child is advanced and my child is slow and your child is two years ahead and it will be all be over soon.
However, if motherhood has taught me anything, it is that as soon as you get out of one stage, you move to another more horrible one!
Trust me….no child that routinely runs into screen doors is advanced. This is just a long stage that clearly lasts at least two years. And to make matters worse, I have a two year old who is getting ready to enter that long, long stage.
And you’re right…each stage gets progressively worse.
That is why I am really looking forward to sullen-teen-stage. You know, the one where I hear they lock themselves in their rooms and don’t want to talk to you. Ever. How cool is that? I’ll finally be able to read without someone yelling, “Mommmmmmmy!”
Thank you so much for admitting that you look forward to the whole “I’m locking myself in the room and never talking to you again.” I find myself wishing for that stage often … it sounds relaxing and nice. But then I feel like a horrible mother.
The problem is that you get TOO MUCH of them at this point and TOO LITTLE later. There is no balance. And I thank God every day I only have one child. I couldn’t handle two.
I was wondering where you went! (I realize you were only gone a few days, but still, haha.)
I’m digging the new format completely! I loved having the two blogs that were separated, but I found myself only using the book blog as a resource page when I needed something else to read. This is the perfect combo of Jenners and books!
And, to combine two comments into one, Happy Happy Birthday to the Little One! I for one LOVE your cake from last year, but that’s because I’m jealous that you did about 4-trillion times better than I would’ve done.
I’m glad you don’t think combining the two blogs is a bad idea. I was worried. But I figure I’m not forcing anyone at gunpoint to read anything so feel free to skip anything not of interest. My feelings won’t be hurt! : )
And as bad as that cake looked, it had parts that were two inches of icing in places. YUM!
Happy birthday to your little one !!! What a sweet post!
They do grow up way too fast! It is sad when they stop saying mommy and start saying mom….sigh.
Enjoy the birthday party !
I know!! I was shocked when he started calling me Mom. It just felt WRONG!
Such a sweet post! You’ve got a lucky little boy to have a mom like you
Awww…thanks for your sweet comment!
Happy Birthday Little One! I hope he (and you) has a fantastic day!
He had a great day! Tonight at soccer, he scored his first goal ever … and followed that up with another goal. It was wonderful. (I’m on a little high about it myself!)
awwww Happy Birfday Lil One!! Loved this post Jenners
So glad I followed you to your new home (like I wouldn’t have….duh)!
That’s something else my little one has started saying all the time — DUH!
Happy Birthday, Little One! I really wish that you and Z didn’t live on opposite coasts because I really think you would be friends (not to mention that your moms could hang out).
I’ve got one I know you’ll love, J. The other day Z turns to me and says “you and your husband are crazy parents”. I said “the good kind of crazy? crazy fun?” and he said “no, the boring kind”.
I’m so with you on the teenager in a six year old body — Z is the same way! When I see him lounging on the couch with his leg hooked over the arm, I just want to cry. Where did my baby go?
Ha! Love that! Isn’t it freaky how “mature” they seem sometimes and then they are like tiny little kids again. It is weird!
And I so wish we could have playdates together … we’d had just as much fun as our boys!
Your son will love reading these blog entries when he is older. He sounds like just the sort of child I would expect you to be raising…super cool, smart, and funny! Hope you all enjoy his birthday. Hold him tight. They grow so fast. Mine is going on 17 now and I honestly don’t know where the time went. Well when I look in the mirror and see my crows feet I know where it went!
I see my gray hair and it makes more sense! And I hope he likes reading these posts about him when he gets older … the alternative could be scary!
Oh Jenners… we would follow you anywhere! Nice post.. we do grow up to fast don’t we
But would you follow me through the gates of hell? I think not!
Happy Birthday, Little One! And to commemorate this lovely day, your Mom is going to post that you can’t wipe your own butt. Because getting older does not mean your Mom can no longer embarass you.
Enjoy the day!
And in 10 years, when he brings home a girlfriend, I can show her this post! HAHA!
Happy Birthday to your baby boy!! My baby boy turned 21 this summer. Time flies!
As for that cake…as long as it tasted good, who cares what it looked like!
Once they grasp the sarcasm, it never goes away. But…they usually do get where they’ll once again hug or kiss you in front of their friends without getting embarassed.
It certainly didn’t stop me from eating almost the entire cake last year! HA! There was like 2 inches of icing where I tried to even parts out.
time flies when you’re raising a little one–happy birthday to the little Jenners.
It does fly … and here I thought that was just something people said.
Happy birthday, Little One! Wow, 6 years old… Time really flies huh? Unless you’re wiping his butt after each poo….then you’d probably wish that he’d get older faster so he can do it himself
Oh, he’s going to LOVE that little bit of information you shared on you blog 
I’m sure when he gets older and reads back over some of these posts I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do!
Happy Birthday to your wonderful little one
Get ready — sarcasm will be arriving soon enough! Today is my wedding anniversary so it’s nice to share a special day with your sweet boy. I hope he has tons of fun and loves being 6!!!!
Happy Anniversary! What a happy day it is for both of our families!
Yes as Sandy says I was just there, (21 and 25) Happy Birthday Little One. I hope your party is a blast. And I’ll just tell you about the time they get the sarcasm their volume becomes inaudible, or maybe it’s my hearing. And I agree the retirement home will love his colour choices, make him a button that says, “I dressed myself” I did. Wash your hands of mismatched.
I do need to make that button and have him wear it — pretty much every day!
Happy birthday to your Little One!
Thanks! And I guess I took your “moving to WordPress tips” and went nuts with them!
I was so happy to see that! Hope you love it as much as I do.
Happy Birthday to the Little One!
I’m still wiping my kiddo’s butt and he’s almost 8. I’m thinking he’s going to need a very understanding wife.
So what I hear is that my kid isn’t a freak.
Either that or we both raised butt-wiping incompetents somehow!
Geez, I wish you’d tell The Big Guy those clothes don’t go together! 6 years went by in a flash, didn’t it? Have a happy birthday celebration. Good choice on the cake splurge, btw.
Yeah … last year’s cake was OK for just a family celebration but this year, there will be “outsiders” and I dont’ want to embarrass him or me!
What a lovely tribute from an obviously wonderful mommy. Happy 6th birthday little one. Oh and you can tell your mommy from me that on Husband dearest’s planet orange and red with black and brown are totally acceptable and he is slightly older than 6.
Hmmm..maybe it is boy thing? Or perhaps both your Dearest and my Dearest are both color blind!
Happy Birthday to Mr. Little Jenners! And yes, there is a planet where all those colors go together. It’s called Planet Retirement Community. He’ll be all ready when he’s 65!!!
Hmmmm…now that he is 6, maybe it is time to change him from “the Little One” to “Mr. Little Jenners.” I loved that!
And your Planet Retirement Community line made me LOL … for reals!
Happy birthday, little one – six is a wonderful age to enjoy. You’ll blink again and he’ll be graduating from high school. The time passes all too quickly.
I’m learning that. It seemed so cliche before I had him but kids do seem to grow up so fast.
Happy Birthday to the Little One! Six is a great age! It’s good that he has a sense of self, it doesn’t sound like he’ll fall victim to peer pressure – that’s a good thing.
And you’re right, the Mommy butt wiping gotta stop.
Dark-colored boxer briefs allow you to bypass the whole “skid mark” experience on laundry day – just a tip.
I think if he gets a couple of dumb joke books at the school library, he can increase his repertoire and start to develop an appreciation for sarcasm.
I think The Boy learned his sarcastic abilities at my knee, and from reading Garfield comics.
Enjoy the cake!
You would think that having two very sarcastic people as parents would clue him in … but NOOOOOOOO. He takes everything at face value. Makes for a little bit of fun with Mr. Jenners.
And I’m seriously considering switching him to all dark colored underwear. What you can’t see won’t hurt you!
Oh Jenners!! I was just there (4 and 6 years ago, which is crazy). The sarcasm will come I’m afraid, and soon. Once I explained to my son what it was and how it was used, he jumped on that bandwagon at about the age of 7. He had a good teacher. The saddest thing about them growing up is that they won’t kiss me goodbye when I drop them off at school. The best thing? I no longer hear at the most inconvenient times (dinner parties, while I am on the phone, etc.) MOMMEEE! WIPE MY BOTTOM!!!!
Oh I live for the day when I won’t hear “Mommy, wipe my bottom!” I thought that kind of stuff ended with diapers but apparently not. And we are sarcastic to him ALL THE TIME and NEVER gets it. Never. It is kind of funny actually.
Happy birthday Little One! Glad u splurged on a cake Jenners, as that one does look pretty sad…LOL
I know … isn’t it pitiful??!??? I mean, granted I let him help with some stuff but really most of that horror show was me!