Time for Writer’s Workshop! Head on over to Mama Kat’s to join in.
This week, I’m choosing prompt 5: A memorable babysitting job. But I’m not going to write about one particular babysitting job. Rather, I’m going to share some of the reasons you might have wanted to hire me … and why I might NOT have been such a good choice after all.
Reasons To Hire Me
- Kids LOVED me. After all, I got down and dirty with them … playing, making up games and basically acting like a child myself. This pretty much guaranteed that I had a pack of adoring acolytes who would bug their parents for me to come back over and over and over again.
- I always cleaned up if I (or the kids) made a mess.
- I had no social life so I was pretty much always available.
- I was terrible at math so it would be very easy to rip me off when paying me.
I sound fantastic, don’t I? I bet you’re wishing you had my 13-year-old self available to you as a babysitter now, right? Well, don’t be so hasty. Read on … and find out the Dark Side of the seemingly perfect babysitter.
Reasons NOT To Hire Me
- I could never stay up much past 11:00 p.m. Therefore, you’d come home and find me, your babysitter, asleep on the couch, lightly snoring. Amazing really that anyone hired me again as I am quite a heavy sleeper. I remember one couple having to shake me awake to take me home. Good thing there was never a home invasion on my watch … I would’ve slept right through it!
- I would conduct a thorough search of your pantry, cupboards and freezer to find treats. And then I would eat them (or as much as I thought I could eat without you noticing).
- I was easily freaked out by scary movies or books. Did you ever see that movie about the babysitter who gets a bunch of calls from a psycho … and then she finds out the calls are coming from inside the house? Well, I never saw that movie … but that didn’t stop me from hearing about it and freaking myself out every time I babysat. I would just about jump out of my skin every time the phone rang.
- I had a knack for finding the books and magazines you probably wished I didn’t know you had. I remember finding a copy of Judy Blume”s Wifey at one house and thrilling to what seemed to be the dirtiest book ever. But my single greatest find was an immense porn collection at a neighbor’s house. They had an entire ROOM filled with Playboys, Hustlers, Penthouses and other magazines that seem shocking even in retrospect. I babysat for this couple quite a few times and always took time to explore this most forbidden of rooms. I felt like I knew something so shocking and sinister about these people—liked I’d discovered an S&M dungeon or a dead body stuffed into a suitcase.