Saturday Centus: Scary Story
by Jenners • 10/24/2010 • My Writings • 92 Comments
I’ve been very erratic at participating in Saturday Centus, but I realized it was silly to put pressure on myself for something that is supposed to be fun. So I figure I’ll do it when I can and not worry about it when I can’t. This week’s prompt is: “This is the scariest story I’ve ever heard…”
THE RULES: Saturday Centus asks you to write a story (up to 100 words) based on the prompt provided. The only real rule is that you cannot split up the prompt … it must be left intact. However, you don’t have to count the prompt words in your 100 words. Your story can be fact or fiction. After you post, you should link up over at Jenny Matlock’s wonderfully creative blog off on my tangent. And keep it clean.
After several terrible attempts at writing horror, I realized I needed to think closer to home—something that I would find terrifying and would strike fear into my heart. So forget zombies or ax murderers. What would really scare me is if this was a news story I heard.
Breaking News Story
Good evening and welcome to Action News. My name is Monica Fairweather. Our top story tonight is a report released by the Federal Health Administration, which reveals that chocolate has been definitively linked to a host of fatal diseases, including heart disease, cancer, and paralysis. Scientists are telling the public to immediately stop eating chocolate in all forms. The only known antidote is three servings a day of Brussels sprouts, which must be eaten raw. If you are regular consumer of chocolate—now known as The Brown Death—scientists also recommend consuming regular servings of buckwheat groats and raw onions. This is the scariest story I’ve ever heard.
very scary . . . I was certain death was a direct result of the lack of chocolate in a diet.
I agree with you … chocolate is essential to life! (Oh … if only that were so!)
Jenners! You have me laughing my butt off here…which is no small feat…I mean the size of it alone needs some serious humor for that to happen!
I saved these for Halloween and let me tell you…this was a TREAT of epic proportions.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful humor with us.
How smart to save all these stories for Halloween … I’m sure they were a real treat! : )
If chocolate is deemed lethal then I’m telling the world I’m positively suicidal! Life without Reeses or M&M’s simply wouldn’t be worth living. LOL! Great take on the prompt!
I agree!!! What is a life without chocolate!
This is one of the funniest scary-stories I have ever read! I hope that it is fiction. I love chocolate and am not too fond of brussel sprouts!
I am very late in posting my SC from last week and have no idea if I will be able to do week 26th’s as well.
I have thought a lot about really scary things in everyday life. The older you get the more you realise how badly you have done when it comes to the right kinds of foods to eat. You have definitely struck a chord with this scary text!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna’s & Sara’s SC-post Week 25
It is fiction or I would be dead by now.
I’ll have to pop on over to see your post … just in time for Halloween!
Brussel sprouts? THAT is frightening.
TERRIFYING!
I am TOTALLY ignoring this story! I have to have my chocolate!
Eat on and thank the Lord for fiction!
Good thing it is just a story.. Otherwise, yeah I would be dead
Me too. I think 80% of the women would be in great peril!
I have NEVER been so scared in all my life!!
Well played.
xoRobyn
You mess with chocolate, and the world falls apart.
onions….ugh this is a scary story
And raw onions at that…
That’s just what I was going to suggest… chocolate-covered brussel sprouts.
Personally, Bittersweet Death would be my way to go – the Mack truck of chocolate fatalities. This was a dark, dark tale.
The darkest (which is also the best chocolate).
Me too! The scariest ever!!
(I think I might even elect to brave the “Brown Death” if this scenario were true. Eating tons of raw brussel sprouts, of course.
I think I’d opt for that too. Perhaps dipping the Brussels sprouts in chocolate would be the best of both worlds.
You are too funny! Looks like you scared a lot of people with this one!
Well, you don’t mess with people’s chocolate!
NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I am going to have nightmares about this!!
(If I survive. I just ate TWO cupcakes so it doesn’t look good… Thanks for telling me about crumbs!)
Oooohhhh … you had the Crumbs cupcakes!!???!!! Aren’t they sinfully delicious!? Don’t you feel like you gained a pound while eating them … but you don’t care!! So jealous! Can’t wait to get them in November!
ROFL! Brilliant brilliant and witty post.
This would indeed be a nightmare!
Indeed it would. Let us hope it never comes to pass.
Oh ew! I cannot tolerate onions, never tried a Brussels sprout and now I have to give up my beloved chocolate.
It is a fate to horrible to contemplate, isn’t it?
haha lol but how many people would heed the warning anyway? Some wouldn’t care I suspect ;(. We don’t when it comes to cigarettes anyway right?
You make a very very good point!
*screeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam*
Ouch … that hurt my ears!
Thank goodness that is only a story! If it was true, I’d….I’d….I wouldn’t know what to do! I’d probably cry hysterically and maybe even go into denial and eat more chocolate.
Love your take on this prompt! You are always so clever with these
Just keep telling yourself: “It is only a story. It is only a story.”
what a scary thought! at least i like sprouts and onions if it were to happen lol
Tina from Mummy Diaries
But you like them 3 times a day raw?????? : )
NNNNOOOOOOOO.
That seems to be the most common reaction. : )
What a brilliant take on the prompt! I really like this one you clever Jenners!
Why thank you!
Give up chocolate? For brussel sprouts? Would life even be worth living? I say eat the whole damn box and die happy.
I think that might be my choice also.
Terrifying! You’d die for sure! Very cleaver, you are. How goes the job?
The job is going great. It is just enough (15 hours) without being overwhelming. It is neat to talk to other grown-ups during the day! What a novel idea.
Brilliant! You had me at chocolate being the deliverer of certain death but then you had to add in the Brussels Sprouts antidote. The only food guaranteed to make me gag at just one mouthful. Loved it.
Glad you enjoyed … and I tried Brussels sprouts earlier this year and found them horrible!
I think the scariest part of this story is the fact that I might have to eat brussel sprouts in order to counteract the chocolate! I hate those things and think they taste like smoke. And raw? Ugh!
I tried them for the first time this year, and they were as bad as I thought they might be.
Oh Jen, I have the perfect brussel sprouts recipe… Really! I HATED Brussel Sprouts until Dan made these one day… Its not chocolate but my kids will actually eat it too…
Hmmmm…I think you are going to have to share!
Oh boy, I’m already dead then! Haha. Shouldn’t that be Death by “bittersweet” Chocolate?? LOL! ~ Ames
If this was true, I’d already be dead too. : )
Thanks for your commment. And you mess with people’s chocolate and they are going to get scared!
Oh my God! I’m terminally ill. I’m getting my affairs in order as we speak.
Hurry … the Brown Death is coming!
Well, the term “death by chocolate” had to come from somewhere…. ;o)
Exactly. And really, would it be such a bad way to go? I think not!
This is, without a doubt, the scariest take on this prompt. I’m going to the grocery tomorrow to lay in a stash of Brussels sprouts and start learning to eat the raw! Meanie!!!
Great take……….cj
I wonder if I can get sponsorship from the National Brussel sprout lobby to spread this misinformation?
Ha! They would just LOVE that! You are too funny!
You realize, of course, this is my worst nightmare. I don’t know how I’ll ever get to sleep tonight…
It is my worse nightmare too. Take two Hershey Kisses and call me in the morning. : )
Yikes!! I’m not a chocoholic, but I sure would hate to give it up forever!! …and even though I do like Brussels Sprouts I don’t want to eat them RAW!! yuck!
This story is just too horrible to contemplate. I’m a master of horror!
You win!! This HAS to be the scariest story of them all LOL. I guess I would have to get one of those things because I couldn’t stop eating chocolate and the antidotes are so yucky. Unique take on this and I loved it.
Say it isn’t so!! You know that would scare me. Great job with this “scary” story Jenners
Thank God this is a work of fiction, right?
Jenners, that’s just plain mean! Scaring us like that! Oh, what’s happening to me? I can’t feel my….my legs! My arms!!! I need some brussels spr,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Oh no … another victim of the Brown Death.
I would die! I don’t think I could live without chocolate–especially dark chocolate. I think I’ll go have some now.
Eat now before this comes to pass.
I love it! Way to think outside the box and get creative with the prompt. I especially like the detail that the Brussels sprouts must be raw…eww! That would really be scary, as I would most definitely have to eat them for the rest of my days.
Almost too high a price to pay, isn’t it?
No! That’s terrifying!
Aiiieeeeeee!
Oh my stars. If this came to pass, I guess I’d have to commit suicide by chocolate. Because to paraphrase Charlton Heston, you’ll have to pry the chocolate out of my cold, dead hand!
Me too! It wouldn’t be pretty but at least I’d die happy.
I love your spin on this prompt. (As long as it NEVER comes true.)
Amen, Sister.
I look the antidote but cooked them, so I’m still good to consume large amounts of chocolate….LOL
You’re safe … for now.
NOOOOOOOO!!! ;P
I know!! A fate worse than death I think.
Amanda totally took the words (word?) right out of my mouth.
You are a piece of work! Now the average person would write about ripping heads off, ghosts, maggots, vampires and zombies. But you think outside the box. I totally get this fear, and add in the necessity of eating vegetables? I HATE vegetables!
I thought of the most bone-chilling thing I could. My mind works in odd ways.
That IS scarier. It would be worse for me if it were bread. Or tea. OH NO!
Tea? You are turning English!
That IS terrifying! And if your writing it makes it true, then I fear you’ll have an angry mob at your doorstep!
I hope I don’t have nightmares now…
Great job!
If writing makes it true, then I’m going to be punished by my own cure!