A Eulogy for My Mom
by Jenners • 01/01/2011 • Love and Loss • 221 Comments
Those of you who have read my blog for awhile know that my dad died in a mountaineering accident in August 2009. It was a horrible shock, and our family struggled to come to terms with his sudden passing. We faced another shock when my mom died on December 23rd. She had not been sick, and we all expected her to live into her 90s, as her own mother did. Our only real consolation is that the doctors tell us she died quickly and without pain.
On Christmas morning, I flew out to Montana where my mom and brother live and spent this past week planning her funeral and figuring out what we needed to do to put her affairs in order. As you can guess, I’m feeling tired and empty and hollowed out. But I wanted to share some of what I wrote for my mom’s obituary and spoke about at her memorial service.
My mom grew up in a fun household. Just last year, my mom was telling me how, when she was growing up, her parents would not decorate at all in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Then, on Christmas Eve, after my mom and her brother went to bed, her parents would transform the house into a Christmas fantasy land—decorating the tree and house and putting out presents. My mom told me how magical it was when they woke up and found the house transformed. She did the same for my brothers and I growing up (though not all in one night). In fact, my brother reminded me this week how one year she had three rooms of presents for us.
During high school, my mom was very involved and popular. She was a majorette, acted in the school plays and I think she might have even been a prom princess. As a young girl, I remember looking at her high school yearbooks and being so impressed. In college, she studied to become a teacher and taught in various forms throughout her life. When I got my first job, we had a good laugh when we realized that her first teaching job and my first job were in the same small town.
One summer, my mom worked in an unemployment office and met my dad, who was a shy young medical student at the time. I once asked my mom and dad to tell me the story of how they met and decided to marry. My dad was socially awkward and didn’t necessarily communicate all his feelings and intentions. Although they went on a few dates, the dates were separated by months—so much so that my mom never really considered that they were dating exclusively or seriously. However, my dad thought differently and had decided they would one day be married. Both of them talked about this one night they talked late into the night about their goals and visions for their lives—and both of them said that this conversation was what “sealed the deal” for both of them. So, a year or so later, when my dad turned up again after living in Montana for a summer, he asked my mom to marry him and she accepted. She told me that when she called her girlfriends to tell them she had gotten engaged, her girlfriends all said “To who???” When I asked my mom why she agreed to marry my dad, she just said “I just felt like he was the one.”
You might think that such an odd courtship might not have lasted, but my mom and dad were married for 42 years—with my dad dying just a few days before their 43rd wedding anniversary. My mom did amazing things for my dad—living in Japan when I was newborn and being left alone for long stretches while my dad was on his Navy ship; returning from Japan while 8 months pregnant with my brother and accompanied only by my toddler self; and moving across the country to live in Montana so my dad could fulfill his dreams of living out West. She also tolerated the stresses of being a physician’s wife—the struggle to pay off medical school debt, the uncertainties as my dad developed his career, and late nights, weekends and holidays on call.
My mom was “technically” a stay-at-home mom for most of our childhood. Once I became a mom, I realized just how amazing she was and how she expanded the boundaries of what “staying at home” meant. We had home-cooked meals every night (including salads) and she kept a clean home, but our mom was always intensely involved in our activities and school. When we went to a school that didn’t have a gifted program, my mom volunteered and created one. She was my Girl Scout troop leader for years. She was always volunteering in various capacities in our church. In the 1970s, she and my dad did marriage counseling (and got in trouble for once advocating birth control). She often helped troubled women. I know that as children, we often complained about the hours she spent on “other people.” But now, I am filled with pride and humbled by my mom’s boundless energy, generosity and empathy for others. It humbles me to think of what she managed to do, and how I struggle to raise one child, get dinner on the table (which is not anywhere near as elaborate as what she made), and rarely volunteer at my son’s school. It is like comparing yourself to Superwoman.
Once all of us kids were out of the house, my mom got “serious” about her volunteer work. She was heavily involved with various organizations in our Montana town—leading youth retreats, counseling battered women, organizing parenting programs, working with grandparents raising grandchildren and many others. She devoted thousands and thousands of hours to our community—organizing and starting all kinds of programs that are still in place today. At her funeral, so many people spoke of the various ways they worked with my mom, and many of them she never mentioned to me. It boggles my mind all that she managed to do and how many lives she touched with her work.
My mom was also an amazing grandmother. When she visited this summer, she sat for hours on the floor with my Little One playing with his toy soldiers. She’d jump right in to battle with light sabers, build with Legos, and tell stories. My son was very possessive of her and didn’t like if he had to “share” her with me. When he’d get home from school, he’d say “You’ve had grandma all day so now it is my time” and they’d go off and have adventures together. It was really neat to see.
My mom had a ton of interests. Her whole life, she was amazingly artistic and creative. She made us elaborate Halloween costumes, taught us how to make pysanky eggs, and had recently taken up crocheting. She loved the beach and amassed a collection of seashells from both coasts. She always reading a book and ready to discuss it. (It wasn’t just from my dad that I got my love of reading!) She was a fearless traveler, recently driving across country accompanied only by her beloved dachshund Maddie. She practiced yoga and tai chi, was a talented tennis player, and loved irises, sunflowers and daffodils.
My mom was a truly amazing woman. In many ways, I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to her and feeling that I was failing. It can be difficult to be the daughter of a woman like my mom. I am tremendously honored to have been her daughter, and I cannot even wrap my mind around the fact that she is not here anymore. I discussed every aspect of my life with my mom—often disliking what she had to tell me but knowing that she was challenging me because she loved me. I don’t care how old you are … I don’t think you’re ever ready to lose your mother.
As I did with my father, I’m working on a way to honor her memory and maintain a connection with her spirit. She was working her way through Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach this year, and she had been sharing bits of it with me during our recent phone conversations. I took her copy home with me, and I plan on reading it each day as a way of connecting with her. I think this daily reminder of my mom and following the same path that she was exploring is a positive and comforting way for me to come to grips with losing her so suddenly.
So, as this new year begins, I urge you to remember that life is short and you never know when it may come to end. My mom’s death reminds me how important it is to fill our days with love, laughter and creativity so, when the end comes, we know that we lived a good, full life. I know my mom made the most of her time here on earth, and I’m sure she and my dad are thrilled to be together again.
My mom with me and my two brothers the day after my dad
Jenners, I’m so sorry for your loss of your mom and your son’s grandmother. You’ve written a wonderful tribute to her.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m still trying to come to terms with all that I’ve lost. It is starting to sink in more each day.
Adrift is a nice way to put your feelings. I just feel like an orphan (and I know this is pretty common as three seperate people who have also lost both parents told me that they had the same feeling too). I am so lucky to have a supporting husband and two beautiful children, but late at night feel like I’m all alone. I hope with time that this feeling passes. Now I have to focus on cleaning out my parents house – yuck!
Thank you so much for sharing part of your eulogy. My own mother died two and a half years ago after a long sickness and my Dad passed away suddenly a week and a half ago, so I feel your pain. I also gave the eulogy for both my mom and dad and found the whole process cathartic, even though they were both so hard to write.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hate that we have this in common. I did find it healing to do the eulogies for both my parents … it feels good to share about their lives with the rest of the world and provide that perspective that only a child can provide. I have been finding it even more difficult now that I’ve lost both my parents … it makes you feel adrift in ways that I didn’t truly anticipate. If you ever feel like you need to “talk,” let me know.
Jenners I had no idea! I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m sure your head is still reeling from it all. We are all here – as far as I had to scroll down I would say there are a LOT of us here. :0)
It was a terrible shock … and I think the reality of it is hitting me now in many ways. About 10 times a day, I think about calling my mom and feel like I’m punched in the stomach when I realize I can’t. I did feel an amazing support from the blogging community though … it was so touching.
What a wonderful tribute to your Mom – she sounds like an amazing woman! I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your comment. She was a really special woman, and it felt good to share that with everyone.
Jenner I had no idea, how horrible. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Thanks for your support and prayer. I truly appreciate it.
Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear your news. What a hard couple of years it’s been for you. It looks as though you had a great relationship with your mom and that you have so many good memories and so much to be thankful for. I know my words are hollow and cannot make up for your loss, but my thoughts go out to you and your brothers.
Thank you for your support. It has been a tough few years for our family.
I’m so sorry for your loss Jenners. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing lady and you have wonderful memories of her to cherish. This is a lovely tribute to her.
Thanks for you comment. My mom was really neat and it felt good to share that with people.
Oh Jenners, I am SO sorry for your loss! I was just catching up on some of my reading list and was shocked and saddened to read this! Thank you for sharing her with us, and I smile to think of her hanging out with your Dad again!
Our thoughts and prayers are with you
Thanks for your support. It does help to think of mom and dad together again.
Beautiful post, Jenners. I am very sorry to know about your loss. Hope God gives you and your family the strength to bear the loss. It is a difficult void to fill and I am glad to know you are doing your best to keep your mom’s memory alive and you are celebrating life as your mom would have wanted you to. I lost my mom last year too, and it is a void which can never be filled. I got my love for reading from my mom and whenever I see my mom’s books in the bookshelf it makes me sad. When I read your post, I could identify with everything you said.
I have never seen so many comments in a book blog before. You are a superstar
I discovered your blog recently and it looks wonderful! Hoping to read your posts in the future
I’m sorry that we share this void in our lives. I’ve had my good moment and not so good moments. The not so good moments often involve tears and then needing to lay down and take a nap. I do feel this gaping hole where my mom and dad used to be … it feels so wrong to not have them here in the world.
And I’m not really a blog superstar … you have to halve the comment total by half because of my responses. : )
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and support. It was so kind and helpful.
I haven’t stopped by your blog for such a long time, and when I do, I read this. I am so sorry that you lost your mom so soon after your dad passed away. It’s just not right. But that book your mom was reading sounds amazing…just right for you to take home with you. I took my mom’s knitting things after my mom died to feel closer to her, but I’m still working on the scarf I started a year ago. She had more stick-to-it-ness that I do!
Once again, my sympathy for both your losses.
Thanks for your kind comment. It has been a pretty rough 18 months for my family. My brother is convinced that our mom couldn’t face another holiday without our dad. The biggest comfort is thinking of them together again. And when I was going through some stuff the other day, I found my copy of the same book — with a bookmark in it that my mom gave to me. I think I need to read this book.
This is such a beautiful tribute Jenners. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom certainly was a superwoman! She did so much and cared for so many. She left beautiful memories for you and your family. Thanks so much for opening your heart and sharing such a wonderful woman with us. God bless and take care.
Thank you for your lovely comment. She really was a superwoman … it just boggles my mind all that she managed to do without losing it. I feel like such a slacker in comparison! It felt good to share a bit about her with everyone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you’re going through, as I lost the uncle who raised me on Christmas Eve. He had a sudden, unexpected heart attack, and I’m so lost without him. Everytime I have a question about something, I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call him to ask him what to do.
People tell me to take one day at a time….but sometimes all I can do is to take a moment at a time. The pain will lessen over time, you and I both know this, but it doesn’t help now when the pain is so raw. If you need someone to talk to, you’ve got my email addy.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I feel the same way … some moments are just so painful that I have to just get through them — forget about focusing on a whole day. I find myself needing to sleep a lot and crying at just weird moments when the finality of losing my mom just hits me. And, like you, I keep wanting to call her to talk about things and it is like getting hit in the stomach all over again. And thanks for your kind offer … I extend the same to you.
What a truly amazing woman your mother is! How wonderful to have her for an example and mother. I am so sorry for your loss at this time of year, but happy that you are able to have some peace knowing your parents are now together again.
Thanks for your support. It was doubly difficult to face this loss during the holiday season … I felt so at odds with the joy that everyone else seemed to be feeling. I do comfort myself imagining my mom and dad together though.
gosh, I can not say how sorry for you and your family I am after reading this terrible news.
You are blessed though to have so many great memories and to know that she lived such a full life.
She…and you…will be in my prayers.
Thank you for your support. It is a comfort to know that she and my dad packed a lot of living into their lives.
playing catch up as usual and just saw your post. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your mother. Your eulogy was just beautiful and your sentence,” My Mom was an amazing woman”
just conveyed all your pride in her accomplishments. She does sound amazing and caring and giving and one of the most wonderful Moms ever. My heart goes out to you on your loss. Treasure your memories!
Thanks for your support. It was a rough holiday, for sure. And I’m finding that losing my mom so soon after my dad is very very difficult.
I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. We are all thinking about you.
R
Thanks for your support.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person who lived a full, joyful life. What an amazing example to aspire to each day. I lost my mom 12 years ago and though the grief never truly leaves you, I’m so grateful to have had such an incredible woman in my life. Thank you for sharing your eulogy and the photos. I know there will be some rough moments ahead for you, but I pray you’ll find peace and cherish the memories you have.
Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I imagine that I’ll feel this grief for the rest of my life but it will become easier and lighter to carry in time. Thank you for your support.
Oh, Jenners, I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like she was an amazing woman, mother, and wife who lived life to its fullest, and you have written a fitting tribute. I hope you find her daily when you open the book you’re reading in her honor.
She really was amazing … and reading her book is helping me to feel connected to her, which I really really need right now. Thanks for your support.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. This post brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful tribute to your mother. She sounds like an amazing woman. I am happy that you have so many good memories of her. ((HUGS))
It did feel good to write about her … though I hate the format that I had to write it in. Thanks for your support.
*hugs* to you friend! I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautifully written post that brought tears to me eyes… I have lost both my parents to tragedies and I know what you mean when you say life is short, love everyone as much as you can…. I try to live by that daily.
It is probably the best way to live … at least you won’t end up with regrets. I’m just taking things slow … I’m feeling really low energy right now.
Jen, this is an absolutely amazing tribute to your Mother! I can not tell you how very sorry I am for your loss! I cried when I found your message on Facebook and I cried again reading your beautiful eulogy! I can not imagine how difficult this must be for you and your Family, but please know that I love you very much and you are all in my thoughts and prayers!! Please call me if there is anything at all I can do to help! When you are ready let’s try and do lunch together one day! I’d really love to see you!! Your Mom was a wonderful woman and I know for a fact she raised an awesome daughter!!
Love You Lots!!!
You are so so sweet. Thank you so much for your card and your e-mails and the donation you made!!!! That was amazing and so touching. Let’s definitely get together soon. Obviously, I missed getting together with you over the holiday break. Let’s just meet for lunch one day or for a mid-morning treat at Barnes & Noble and just chat.
Ohhhhh (((Jenners)))!!! I’m so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful person your mom was – and such wonderful memories of her. She’d be so proud of the beautiful words you’ve written here. ((HUGZ!!))
RTT: Late Christmas, New Year Murphy’s Law
Thanks so much … it felt good to share a bit about what was so special about her.
Jenners, I am so sorry for your loss – you have carried more than your share of difficulties over these past few years. The tribute you wrote to your mother is beautiful and heartfelt; she passed along a lot of her caring and compassion to you. Thinking of you …
Thank you for your kind comment. It has been a rough couple of years. My biggest consolation is that my parents are together once more.
((((hugs to you)))) I’m so sorry for your loss and thanks for the reminder to appreciate our parents why we have them. I think your idea to read her book is a lovely one.
Thanks for the hugs … and reading the book has been a neat way to feel connected with her spirit.
Oh Jenners. I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you. Please know that I’m sending much love and prayers to you and your family. I couldn’t believe it when I saw this post title. My heart is aching for you right now. Your mom and dad are so proud of you and the wonderful woman and mother that you are. Hugs to you always my friend.
I do feel your support, and I hope I made them as proud as they made me. The one thing that helps is to think of them being together once more.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like an incredible woman and I am sure she will be missed by both your family and all the people whose lives she must have touched. What you have written about her is a wonderful tribute.
Thank you for your kind words. It felt good to write about her and share a bit about her life.
So sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Thank you … I appreciate the kind thoughts.
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died four years ago just before Christmas. I don’t care how old you are, it’s hard to lose a parent. This post was a lovely tribute to your mother…she would be proud!
Thanks so much for your comment. I hate that we share this sad anniversary during what should be just a joyful time of year.
I finally just got to your section in my Reader, saw the title of this post sitting there and honestly couldn’t breathe for a moment. I am so incredibly sorry that you have lost your mother, especially so soon after losing your father. However, I do believe that you are doing a fantastic job of keeping the best parts of them alive in your heart and memories. It’s an honor to have the chance to read the wonderful things you write about them. I hope that you continue to share their lives with us as these will also be important posts to share one day with your Little One. Tons of love and mental hugs are being sent out to you from Seattle!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I do think these posts are going to be so important later for the Little One to understand about his grandparents. I know the memories he has of them will probably fade away all too quickly.
So sorry to hear about your mom. We lost both my in laws within 3 months. It just takes your breath away. Glad your back was wondering about your absence. Here’s to a great 2011! HUGS!
It does take your breath away. One thing I didn’t mention in my post was that my sister-in-law lost her mom four days before my mom died. It was just really stunning to face all that loss at one time.
Jenners, I am so terribly, terribly sorry to hear about your loss – I love your eulogy and post and feel so much that your mother and father were just wonderful people and I am in tears reading this. My mother passed away 6 years ago on Mother’s Day when I was 30 – she was only 60, and it still, still tugs at me when I think about her. I want so badly to give you a hug to let you know that I’m thinking about you and wish that whatever healing time you and your family need is complete and helps you through this process. I’m so very sorry – your dad sounds adventurous and your mom sounds like such an artist. What a beautiful pair the two seem to make and I love how she just felt like your dad was the one. What a love, what a life. Please, please – whatever I can do, please let me know.
Thank you for your really lovely comment and for sharing your own story. I imagine that we’ll both always feel a tug when we think of our moms. Hugs to you.
Oh Jenners, my heart is aching for you, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your Mom sounds like an amazing woman, thank you for sharing a little bit of her life with us. Please take it easy on yourself while you mourn. So sorry….
Thank you for your kind comment. I am taking it easy on myself right now … frankly I don’t have the energy to do too much other than what I “have” to do. I know this will lift at some point but right now I’m just taking it slow.
I am so sorry for your loss. It might not be much consolation, but your mother clearly led a full, interesting, and loving life.
It is a consolation in many ways … she packed a lot of life into her life.
I was quite surprised to hear that you lost your mother recently. I am sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her is beautiful. One of the reasons I read your blog is your writing style. You are able to express yourself beautifully. You are in my thoughts. More virtual hugs coming your way…
Thank you for your kind comment. I so appreciate the kind words … and the virtual hugs.
Jenners, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person and I know you’ll be lonely for awhile. Sorry your new year had to start out this way.
Bonne Année to you and your family.
It is a rough start to a new year but I know we’ll pull through. Wishing you a wonderful new year.
Oh, honey — there are no words to describe how my heart breaks for you. Just know that you’re in my thoughts. HUGS — Heather
Thank you for your care and concern. Hugs back.
Oh yes . . . I wanted to add that Sarah Ban Brethnach book is wonderful and thought provoking. Although I did not always agree with everything that she had to say, she made me think and she got me through a very dark time in my life. Hoping it brings you comfort . . .
Thanks for your lovely comment … and for the input on the Sarah Ban Brethnach book. It seems like it will be a positive thing to read this year.
Oh Jenners! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know that I do not know you IRL, but I feel like I know you through your posts, and it seems that even though you do not see it, you are very much like the extraordinary woman that you described. Smooches and hugs to you! You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Annie
I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a hug. I am so sorry for the loss of such a wonderful mother. You are in my prayers. xoxo
Thank you so much for your lovely comment and your virtual hugs. They work well too.
Oh Jen! I’m so sorry! I can’t even fathom!
Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, and I am like you with my mom, I can’t seem to live up to the mom she is!
May all your memories be solace for your grief at this time.
I wrote a poem once, and part of it said “We learn to make do, make better, and make believe that better days will come, and who is to not say that the perfect year, may be here” I hope for a better year this year for you, And know that those better days? they do come! I am sending lots of love and hugs and support your way!
Thank you for your lovely comment and for sharing your poem. It is a good thing to keep in mind when things don’t seem so good. Hugs.
I don’t even know what to say. I was so sad when I read this and so sorry that your mom is gone. I loved what you wrote about your mom. She sounds like she was a real dynamo and someone who I would have really enjoyed getting to know. I know you will find many ways to honor her and the one way you will honor her the most is by being the terrific mom that you are already are. You are right about life being precious and short. That is a good reminder for all of us to savor every day we have. Please know that my prayers are with you and your family.
“Dynamo” is the perfect word to describe my mom! Love it. Thank you for your lovely comment. It means a lot.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that can’t be much comfort but I don’t know what one can say to make things like this better. Your words about your mom were beautiful and I am going to make sure my parents know how appreciative I am to still have them around. My thoughts are with you.
I’m glad to hear you’ll be telling your parents how much you appreciate them. Some day (hopefully a long long time from now), saying and doing that regularly will be a comfort when you lose them. Thanks for your lovely comment.
Jenners, I cannot even imagine losing my mother…can’t even begin to imagine. What an honor you’ve given her by sharing her with all of us and by reminding us how short and precious life with those we love really is. Sending prayers and wishes for peace and comfort during this very painful time in your family’s life.
I think losing a mother has got to be one of the hardest things anyone will ever face. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Oh no, Jenners, I am so sorry for your loss. I know it has to be so hard for you. I don’t know what else to say
. virtual hugs to you
Thanks for the virtual hugs. They do help.
Jenners, I am crushed for you. I was actually getting a little worried when we hadn’t heard from you in a while but thought it was due to the holidays.
You and a couple others are really putting my life in perspective. I complain about the rough two weeks we’ve had with illness but I still have my mother, my breasts (friend just lost her to breast cancer), and healthy kids (friend told me this week that her son has a brain tumor). I need to just button my mouth because I have it SO good.
I wish there was something I could do for you. This has to be a really tough time. I will offer our thoughts and prayers to you in the hopes that you can find comfort during this difficult time.
Thanks for your kind comment. Experiencing things like this does make your appreciate all the blessings we do have. I can’t even imagine finding out your child has a brain tumor.
I’m so sorry for your loss Jenners. Your family has gone through so much lately, and I was terribly saddened to see this post about your mom’s passing. You wrote a lovely tribute. Thank you for sharing your memories of her with us.
Thank you. It has been a difficult 18 months … my brother kept saying “She just couldn’t do another Christmas without Dad.”
Jen, when the title of your post scrolled on my blog roll it caught my breathe. Say it isn’t so, I thought. Your tribute is simply amazing. Your post makes me long for the close relationship the two of you shared. (((hugs))), my friend. Find peace.
I so wish it wasn’t so. It was such a shock … I truly felt we had years left together. Thanks for your lovely comment.
I’ve been off of reader for over a week but when I saw this post my heart nearly stopped. I never knew your mom of course, but I know what a wonderful person she was because of how you are now. Your love of life shines through each and every post and the pics that you chose to share with us confirms it.
I will be be thinking of you guys.
Thank you for your lovely comment. I was blessed with an amazing mom and I hope I can live up to what she taught me to be.
Ah, I’m so sorry. My grandmother’s been in and out of hospital this holiday season, and I was just telling my parents that they have to go suddenly and painlessly, and preferably not around Christmas. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that day, though. Thinking of you guys.
There is something doubly hard about losing a loved one during the holidays … but at least we got the “painless” part. Hope your grandmother gets better soon.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. That truly has to be one of the most difficult things to go through. She sounds like such an amazing woman – full of love and life and adventure. My prayers are with you and your family.
Losing a mother is like losing a touchstone in your life. I feel like I’ve lost that and it will take awhile to find my footing again I think.
Oh, Jenners! I am so sorry for your loss. My mere words cannot express how heartbroken I am for you. She sounds like one truly awesome lady. Your eulogy of her brings to mind Proverbs 31, starting at verse 10 and on. I will be praying for you extra this month. Hugs to you.
Your comment just moved me … I read Proverbs 31 at her funeral … it felt like it was written just for her!
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful eulogy.
Thank you for your kind comment. It was cathartic to write about my mom and share it.
Jenners, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like your mother was a very special and loved person, and that she changed the world around her so very much. I know how hard this must be for you right now, and I will be praying for you and your family during this time. My condolences are with you, my friend.
Thanks so much for your comment. She really did make a difference in the world and I hope sharing that about her helps to inspire others as she inspired me.
Oh hun. ((hugs)) I am crying….really crying.
You are so right. Everything can change in a second so we need to be thankful for every single minute we have with our loved ones.
I am so sorry.
I am here…if you need to talk.
xo
Thanks for your comment. I know you have some personal experience with seeing how quickly life can change and how critical it is to appreciate the blessings we have.
Jenn–I am so sorry to hear about your mom, from your tribute and wonderful words, it is clear that she was fun, interesting, caring, loving, and meant so much to you and your brothers. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now, but I hope that you have the support and care of others around you now.
Thank you for your lovely comment. We do have a lot of support and care to help us through.
Oh, Jenners, my heart goes out to you. You’ve done a wonderful job writing about her life and her loves. Tank you for sharing and big hugs to you, Mr Jenners and the Boy.
Thanks for your lovely comment.
Jenners, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman. It’s doubly tragic at this time of year, especially since you just lost your dad. I wish I could come and give you a hug! I can’t imagine what you are going through but my thoughts and sympathies are with you. And your tribute to your mom was just lovely. I’m sure she was very proud of you.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
I’m so sorry, Jenners. There is never a good time to lose a parent, but so close to Christmas had to make it extra tough. Your mom sounds like a truly amazing woman (I’m always trying to live up to the women my mother and grandmother are and often feel like a failure) and she has left so many lives touched by her spirit. That must give you comfort. I loved that your Little One was possessive of her. How wonderful to see that.
I’m keeping you in my prayers.
Thanks for your comment. It was especially difficult for this to happen during the holidays … when everyone else seemed so happy and busy.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. What a lovely tribute to your mom, I’m sure she would have been pleased to see that you recognized that she was who she was. Once again I’m so sorry. You are right we are never ready to lose our MOm.
I don’t really know what I’m feeling either. It is such a mix of emotions that will take a while to sort through I think. Thanks for your kind comment.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. May your entire family be surrounded with comfort as you grieve this tremendous loss.
Thanks for your kind comment. It felt good to write about her and to share it with others.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your stories of your mother. She sounds like an incredible woman. I’m sure you’ll enjoy reading Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy in honor of your mother. I would love to hear your thoughts as you work your way through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I was thinking of sharing a bit of my journey as I work my way through the book. It really has a wonderful message for women of all walks of life.
Dear Jenners, your love for your mother shines clearly through your words. So sorry to hear that you lost her so suddenly. The remarkable, accomplished, and totally loving mom that she was is so apparent in you. She can rest easy knowing that you will carry on where she left off. Please accept my prayers for her, for you and for your family. Peace and love.
Thanks for your lovely comment. My primary comfort is envisioning her and my dad being together again.
Oh, Jenners, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us and letting us get to know your mom a bit. Be gentle with yourself through this challenging time.
Thank you for your kind comment … and I am taking it slow and being gentle with myself as I struggle to come to terms with this.
Aw Jenn, I know that there is very little that anyone can say to comfort or lighten the pain and emptiness that you might be feeling. My mom is the only real family I have, so it caught my breath at your unexpected loss, as imagining that moment for me seems unbearable. I know that we survive and we carry on but damn if it isn’t difficult at times. I think it is absolutely lovely that you took your mother’s comfort book and plan and reading it this year. I truly believe that will bring you closer to this amazing woman. Just because she might not be here physically, the conversations of the of souls will still carry on.
Thank you so much for your comment. It was lovely and so heartfelt. I wish you strength for the difficult day when you lose your own mother … may it not be for years and years and years.
I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. Your mother sounds like such an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing her with us. Such beautiful words…such beautiful memories. Love and prayers coming your way….
Thank you for your kind comment. It felt good to share a bit about what made my mom such a special person.
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds incredible. I’ll be thinking of you.
Thanks for your kind comment.
I’m so sorry for your loss Jenners! Your Mom sounds like she was an extraordinary woman!
Thank you for your kind words. It helped to share a bit about her life.
Thanks for sharing this, Jenners. So touching and heartfelt. Makes me wants to call my mom and tell HER thanks…while I can.
P.S. I hope someone is taking good care of her beloved Maddie
Yes … do call your mom!!! You’ll feel so much better. And my brother is taking good care of Maddie. I think they will be a comfort to each other during this time.
My best wishes to you and yours. What a beautiful tribute, your mom sounds like an amazing woman, you must feel her loss so badly.
I do feel her loss … although I know it hasn’t fully sunk in yet.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this (as we all will, or have, at some point). Your mom (and dad) lived a full life together, and raised three children to adulthood – and still retained their sense of humor and adventure. What a blessing!
And don’t sell yourself short when comparing yourself to your mom. Your blog has provided you with an opportunity to connect with and influence people on a more than local level. I would miss not having you here.
When the Little One leaves the nest, you too will have lots of time to volunteer or do other things to make a difference in your community.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I will confess that I do feel kind of “inferior” so thanks for the reminder that I still have the opportunity to make a difference like she did — albeit in a different way that is more in tune with my own talents.
I am so sorry for your loss. I think your words about your mother are just beautiful and you show so much strength in being able to write them. Thank you for sharing with your readers what an amazing woman your mother was….I know she will live on through you and your son!
Thanks for your lovely comment. It felt good to share about what an amazing woman she was.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Jenn. It sounds like your Mother, just like your Father, was an amazing person. It’s so obvious to see why you turned out so wonderfully. My thoughts and prayers are with your family during this time.
Thank you for your lovely comment. My brothers and I were talking about how lucky we were to have two such cool parents who really knew how to live.
Jenners,
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Hugs, my friend.
Thank you.
My heart is just breaking for you, Jen. I am so very sorry for this sudden loss. Your tribute to your mother is so full of love and heart. She sounds like an amazing woman. Full of light and hope and laughter and love. Her selfless focus on the good of others, from you and your brothers to the countless people she helped with her philanthropy, are really what it is all about. That book she was reading is a great one. You will love it. And a wonderful way to connect to her through your shared love of reading.
I will be praying for you and your family as you work through find the right place for this grief in your life. Those you love and remember fondly are never really gone.
Seek peace.
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
Find your something good.
Erin
As always, you know just what to say. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your sudden loss. Your mom sounds like an amazing, loving, and giving person. Your eulogy is filled with love and honor for your wonderful mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you for your kind words.
Oh my goodness Jenners, I am so sorry and actually have tears in my eyes as I read this post about your mom. She sounded like a truly amazing woman; more like a superwoman really. It is always so shocking to lose a loved one unexpectedly, and especially around the holidays.
May you be comforted by all those special memories. HUGS
Thanks for your kind words. My mom was really like Superwoman … I was awed by all the things she was doing that I never even knew about.
Oh Jenners, I’m crying here. I am so so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like an incredible woman. I love that you know how blessed you were to have her and how grateful you are. I pray that you never feel inferior, because you are so very special in your own right. I send you much love, many prayers and virtual hugs during this very difficult time.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I know that we were two different women but I hope to be more like her as I continue to evolve.
What a wonderful tribute to your mother. My heartfelt condolences to you, your brothers, and all of her loved ones.
Thank you so much.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your mom. The thoughts you shared are beautiful and brought a tear to my eye. I lost my mother in May and I know it is so hard. Your mother sounds like a great person and the pictures are precious. She had a great smile!
I am so sorry for your loss. It is difficult to lose a mom, isn’t it? You feel like your touchstone has left you. Hugs to you.
Your words really touched me.
I am so sorry for your loss.
What touches me the most is the love you express, the love shared among your family.
I think the way you described connecting with your mum is really very special, and a great idea. I’m sure doing something like tha would help many people in a similar situation.
My thoughts are with you and your family xx
Thanks for your kind words. It was helpful to write this post and share a bit about what made my mom such a wonderful person.
I’m so very very sorry to hear about your mother. This is a wonderful tribute to her – it brought tears to my eyes. I can’t begin to imagine your sorrow – but I’m sure that you will find a way to connect with her and use the lessons of life that she has taught you.
Sending you hugs and comfort,
Lady Fi
Thank you for your lovely comment. It felt good to share with everyone what an amazing woman she was.
I’m so sad to hear your terrible news. Your post is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman. You’ve moved me to tears as I can feel your love for her. Big (((HUGS)))
Thank you for your lovely words.
Certainly your Mom is and would be proud of you and what you have written. Thank you so much for sharing this.
And thank you for taking the time to read it.
I’m so so sorry for your loss, Jenners
That’s a beautiful tribute that you wrote. Big hugs.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment. Writing that tribute was very cathartic in many ways … I feel like I’ve honored her memory in some small way.
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear of your loss… your mom really does sound like she was an amazing mom, wife, woman, human. Absolutely beautiful post.
Thank you for your kind comment. She really was an amazing person and I’m glad to be able to share that with everyone.
(((Jenners))) I’m so sorry to read of the sudden loss of your beloved Mom. Your beautiful tribute makes me feel what a wonderful woman she was and you will miss her terribly.
As we step into a New Year I can only wish comfort and courage for you during this time of sorrow.
Thank you so much for your kind comment.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom….She sounds like quite an amazing person. It really sucks that you had to go through something like this during this time of the year when you should be happy and celebrating the season. You are right….life is short and we need to enjoy it as much as possible now. We will be keeping you and your family in our thoughts. Take care of yourself, ok?
Thanks for your kind words. I am taking good care of myself and taking it easy and just doing what I feel really needs to be done.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that the new year will bring joy and happiness to you and your family after suffering such a shock. I think taking her book home with you to finish is such a great way to stay connected and this blog post was a wonderful way to remember her. She sounded like quite the energetic lady! I will give you a virtual hug in the hopes that it makes you feel a bit better.
She was an energetic lady … I truly wonder how she managed to fit it all in! I do think that reading the Simple Abundance book will be a comforting way to remain close to her.
I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute to your mother. She sounds like an amazing woman.
Thanks for your kind words.
Oh Jenners, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. You’ve written a beautiful tribute to her. (((hugs)))
Thanks. I hate that I’m having to do this way too often.
Oh my….I am so sorry for your heartache and loss. If I could crawl through the internet/web and hug you right now, I would!! Please know that my heart wishes your heart peace and comfort. We both know that time will be your friend, but it will take more than awhile. Once again, as I have said before…“In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night… You–only you–will have stars that can laugh!”
“And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure… And your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, ‘Yes, the stars always make me laugh!’” The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupery
Tonight, on a very cold first night of a new year I will walk outside and look up at the stars…my dad, your dad, your mom…they are all going to be shining and laughing!
Fond thoughts and care…Gaye (insideabook(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Thanks so much for the perfect quote from one of my favorite books. It is a lovely thought to have and one I will think of whenever I look at the stars.
So so sorry. Life is short yes, something I’ve for sure learned also these past couple of months. I hope you are doing okay despite the pain.
I’m sorry to hear that you too are being reminded of this sad but important lesson.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. She sounds like an amazing woman who left a great influence and legacy. ((hugs))
She really did leave an amazing legacy. It was mind-boggling how much she accomplished that I didn’t even know about.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you have such wonderful memories of your mom (and your dad too) and I hope those memories sustain you.
Thank you … I know that remembering all the good times was helpful as we planned her funeral.
Jenners, I am so sorry to hear this news. This beautiful eulogy brought tears to my eyes–I know your mom would have loved to read it. My heart is with you and your family, friend.
Thank you for your kind comment.
I’m very sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing person, and a wonderful mother.
She really was an amazing person. If I become just a portion of the woman she was, I’ll be happy.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother passing – I’m new to your blog, so was not aware. She sounds like an incredible & inspiring woman. Even as strangers, my thoughts are with you.
Thanks for your kind comment … even though we are strangers. It is what I love about blogging — the support you get from people you don’t know.
Jenners, please know that my heart goes out to you and your family. I will lift you up in prayer. I believe that death is not the end but the beginning. I know that I will join my father one day as you will join your parents. Remember God loves you and is giving you a great big hug of comfort. Praying for you now and into the future for comfort.
I do believe that my parents are together again and that is one of the primary comforts I have at this time. Thanks for your comment.
I am so sorry. I do believe that she is probably so happy to be with your dad again, but I know how hard it is to lose a parent, especially when it happened so close together for you. What a lovely tribute to your mother. She sounds like she was an amazing woman.
Envisioning her with my dad is one of the main things that comfort me right now. I can just imagine how joyful they were to be reunited.
Oh Jenners, I’m so so sorry to hear about this.
Sending you virtual hugs. I know they aren’t much, but you’re in my thoughts. 
Virtual hugs are lovely. Thanks.
Oh, Jenners-what an amazing tribute. I am so terribly sorry to hear about your mom’s sudden passing. Hearing about your parent’s life shows me where you get your fantastic sense of humor. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for your lovely comment. My parents were pretty cool … and I was so lucky to have them.
Oh Jenners my heart aches for you and your family. You have written such a beautiful memorial to your mom. And you are so much more your mother’s daughter than you give yourself credit for. I’m throwing hugs to the wind in your direction cause I so wish I could make it better. I’m so sorry.
Thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult this holiday season has been for you.
This was so beautiful and heart-felt. It gave me a true sense of what a wonderful woman your mom was. Sending you big virtual hugs and prayers tonight.
Thanks for your warm wishes. It was a difficult holiday season for all of us here.
Jenn…you have given us a rare gift by sharing your mom with us. She must have been an amazing woman to raise someone like you. I hope that your wonderful memories of her will help lessen the pain of losing her over time. Thank you so much for letting us into your heart. God bless.
Thanks for your lovely comment … and I feel like I barely captured just a small amount of who she was. She also had this amazing laugh that you could hear from far away … I think that not hearing that laugh again will be one of the hardest things to deal with!
Oh Jenners – I am so so sorry for this unexpected loss. The tribute to your mom is beautiful and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Thank you for your kind comment. We can use all the prayers we can get right now.
Oh, Jenners…. I am so, so sorry!! This is a wonderful tribute to your mother and I can feel your love for her.
I highly recommend the book “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman. It wasn’t published until many years after my own mother’s death, but it helped me greatly and I’ve since given it to a number of friends who’ve lost their mothers.
You’re right…. you’re NEVER ready to lose your mother, no matter what age!
I’m saying prayers for you and your family. (((hugs)))
Thanks for the book recommendation. You can bet I’m going to look for it.
I can’t believe it! I am so sorry! I wondered where you were! Okay, I’m freaking out with the exclamation points. You have a wonderful gift of being able to turn sorrow into beautiful words. Thank you so much for sharing all that about your mom, and the pictures. (And who knew you had such cute brothers?)
I was freaking out too. (And my one brother is single if you’re tired of your husband! He could use someone special in his life right now as he was just about to move in with my mom. As hard as it is for me, it is 100x worse for him.)
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. We lost my father on December 29, so I know how difficult it is to when a beloved parent dies. My father’s death wasn’t unexpected, but it was still devastating and made for a very sad holiday season. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It does make for a difficult holiday season, doesn’t it? Hugs to you.
Oh my dear, you have my deepest condolences….my heart is just breaking for you right now. I,too, lost my dad in a tragic accident some years back and frankly, I don’t know what I would do without my mom. Your relationship with your mother is a wonder….you are so blessed to have had that and she sounds like a truly exceptional woman, especially to have raised a daughter like you.
Please know you’re in my thoughts and prayers….your entire family is. Stay strong. Rely on your friends and family.
It is true … I feel a bit lost and adrift without my mom. She was my touchstone. Thanks for your lovely comment.
My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your mom. She sounds as if she was truly an amazing person. Thank you for sharing a bit of her with us.
She was an amazing person. Thank you for your kind comment.