My (Almost Unconscious) Hero
by Jenners • 01/22/2011 • Mr. Jenners • 99 Comments
OK … first of all, how weird a word is “unconscious”? When I typed it, I thought “Huh, that looks odd. I’m not sure that is spelled right. It seems like an odd grouping of letters.” But, I assure you, it is correct. Google and the spell-checker say so.
ANYWAY, the real purpose of this post is to tell you about something that happened last night that made me feel loving toward Mr. Jenners. Here is what happened.
It was about 10:30 p.m., and Mr. Jenners was falling asleep watching TV. (I, as is my usual Friday night custom, was blogging merrily away. Yeah … we’re losers like that.) At one point, Mr. Jenners stood up and said “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” “OK,” I said, “I won’t be too much longer. Love you. Good night.” He lumbered upstairs and into la-la land.
About 11:15, I decided I was done for the night and decided to go upstairs. As the last one downstairs, it fell to me to turn on the alarm system. (Yes … we have an alarm system. It came with the house. And, being paranoid, Mr. Jenners decided we would keep it and use it.) The annoying thing about the system is that it makes a series of beeps until it activates—about 45 seconds. At night, in the dark, this seems like an eternity. It also seems very very loud.
So the alarm was in the middle of making all its noise and I was at the top of the steps, when Mr. Jenners bursts out of the bedroom and starts heading down the stairs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, grabbing him by the arm. “What are you doing?”
It was obvious that he was still mostly asleep. “Alarm. Going off. Must check out,” he mumbled.
“No, no, no, sweetie. That was me setting the alarm. Everything is OK. The alarm isn’t going off,” I reassured him—dragging him from the top of the stairs before he fell (or set off the alarm for real).
He let me lead him back to bed like a little child. I tucked him in and kissed him. “Everything is OK,” I soothed. “Go to sleep. Everything is OK.”
As he fell back asleep, it struck me how adorable and heroic his actions had been. His first instinct upon hearing an alarm was to go downstairs to check it out—despite the fact that he was almost fast asleep and would have been pretty much useless had something real been going on. In fact, I’m pretty sure if we had experienced a home invasion, Mr. Jenners’s only chance at stopping it would have been to tumble down the stairs and knock the intruder down and then fall asleep and not let them up. But it charmed me … he was ready to protect us … perhaps even more so than if he had been awake enough to think about it.
So thank you, Mr. Jenners. You’re my hero … even if you didn’t really know what you were doing.
My sleeping hero! (Note: This is not the real Mr. Jenners ... DARN IT! Just kidding, Mr. Jenners. Really. Kind of. Sorta.)
P.S. As I was just sitting here finishing this post, Mr. Jenners sneezed and said “Owwwwww.” “What?” I asked. (I mean, seriously, who gets hurt when they sneeze?) He said “I sneezed funny and hurt my head.” Hmmmmmm. A man who gets hurt when he sneezes. Maybe not quite the hero I thought he was … at least until he goes to sleep tonight.
I think I finally figured it out.
This is another comment. Will you get it?
This is test of the emergency broadcast system. Will it go in the correct e-mail box? What happens if you reply to it? Can you get it on the iPhone?
Well, it came through on the WP dashboard. Now will you get a copy in the inbox for the e-mail.
That is very sweet! Of course he would have only acted to stall the intruders for a few seconds in his groggy state, but nice that he tried. I can barely wake Brian up by hitting him repeatedly, so I’m on my own!
You go Mr. Jenners!
PS the sneezing thing is hilarious! How does one sneeze funny?
Well, at least you have Batman protecting you!!!
And he somehow jerked his head during the sneeze and hurt his head. So so silly!
That is so very precious. It’s nice to know that he’d jump immediately to your rescue.
While he is asleep that is…
Thanks for the laugh. *sneeze* Owww!
I thought it was so ridiculous that he hurt himself sneezing … but now others confess to sneezing injuries too so I guess he isn’t so weird! Still, though… it is goofy!
I love how you felt protected and loved at that moment. A lovely post.
Did I ever tell you how my husband slept through a bunch of fire trucks blaring down our block while I sat there nursing a baby at 2 AM? I had to shake him up to see if the block was going up in flames. He sleeps way too heavily
Jeez … that is sleeping a bit too heavily, I think!! You’d have your hands full if you had to evacuate the house. (Though, honestly, I kind of sleep like that. I never hear the alarm system going off when Mr. Jenners sets it.)
I just wanted to say I have the same problem with the word “unconscious.” I have to sound it out wrong to spell it — “un – con- ski- yus”.
Thank you!! It is a tough word. Glad to hear I’m not alone with it!
Thank you!!! I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this word.
awwwww
What a good guy – how gallant and sweet!
Usually gallant and sweet would not apply .. unless he was sleeping! : )
so sweet. Mr. J is totally blind without his contacts. He always sends me to investigate whenever there are noises in the night. If it’s something serious than I’m to holler for him. He’s in education so we have been egged, tomatoed, toilet papered among other things.
Jeez … what is the something in the night is quick-moving and fast-acting and you don’t have time to yell???
And woah on the tomatoing, toilet papering and egging. That has got to be disheartening.
Awwwwwwwww, how sweet is that??? As for him hurting himself sneezing…. he just didn’t want to show his true “superman” side…. its all a ploy
Kat
Yes … that is what is is. A ploy to disguise his superpowers!!!
So wonderful that you are married to your hero! Very sweet.
And here I didn’t even know it!
Oh yeah – and then some. Of course, his loud snoring may scare away any potential burglars.
Simply endearing! I loved the image of him tumbling on the would be intruder.
And just between you and me, it would probably hurt the intruder quite a bit! ; )
AHAHAHAHAA! I love it! He sounds like the same kind of ‘hero’ my hubby would be…
You mean a sleepy, out of it hero? : )
Ooops! My reply to your reply ended up as a brand new comment.
I’m guessing it was a Blonde Moment on my part.
That’s it … you are banned from the blog for misuse of the commenting system. HAHA!
Mr. Jenners is a real man! It’s so nice that he has that big protective instinct for you and the little one. I bet it made you feel so wonderful!
Mr. Jenners is just going to LOVE your comment!!! : )
Bahaha, my husband says OW! every time he sneezes too. What’s that about? Who gets hurt when they sneeze? Too funny.
OK … we have us a bunch of husbands who need to take a sneezing course or something! What is up with this!!!???
Well, a hero is a hero…half-asleep or not.
My Hub would have left me to fend for myself. He’s funny that way. He knows I am utterly self sufficient and so leaves stuff like that to me unless he happens to be standing right next to me. I suppose I should be glad that he has such faith in me. Better than worrying about the alternative. LOL.
That is a compliment … in a way. I guess. There is just something so lovely about a man leaping to the defense of his family, whether or not his wife could do it herself anyway. Am I sexist???? : )
I hope he was wearing pj’s.
He was … thank goodness. (Shivers.)
That is so sweet – you have a great hubby!
(I do something similar with both “uniformed” and “uninformed” – I never know if I’ve got them right until I give them a good looking over. And I have a tendency to get them mixed up when I’m reading too, which makes for amusing newspaper articles sometimes – all of those “uninformed” guards running around the world…)
That is so so funny about uninformed and uniformed. They are really really close and mixing up the meanings would be so funny. I used to type “manger” for “manager” all the time.
Lol! Okay I had to read your post to my husband because I was laughing so much at the end he wondered what was going on. He said “poor guy getting harrassed by his wife like that”, it just made me laugh that much more
Your comment just cracked me up. And I bet Mr. Jenners just LOVES what your husband says.
What a fantastic post…I loved it, and thanks so much for sharing this treasure of a moment.
I do have to tell you, I started to chuckle a bit when I saw the photo and your comment underneath it, and then I started to laugh when you told us about the sneeze…he still is your hero, I am sure, just not exactly what an author would right, no?
Yes … not quite the hero that an author would create. But he is my hero and I love him.
LOL – so hilarious! I love this story – and you don’t want that dude in the picture anyway…. look at him… he has some sort of fungus growing out of his back.
ewwwww…true that! He does have a fungus!
Oh that’s funny! My hubby’s like too. Completely zonked out when he’s asleep and takes him a while to boot up and figure out what the heck is going on. He’s even fallen asleep on the stairs as he’s walking down them and on the toilet.
Oh my … that sounds pretty serious. I can just imagine walking in and finding him asleep on the toilet!!
Oh heck I get hurt when I sneeze all the time and those hiccups can be the worst! What a guy you have!! Wonderful hero. :0) You are a lucky girl!
I always get confused as when to use conscious and conscience. sigh
OK …. I guess sneezing is more dangerous than I thought! And I once had the hiccups for about 30 minutes and it really started to hurt.
Aw, that’s sweet.
My husband would have slept right throught it! When I can actually wake him up enough to go check out a noise he is NOT happy about it! Good for Mr. Jenners
I’m guessing he perfected that little trick to avoid hearing a certain little baby crying in the middle of teh night too!
Hey Jenners, adorable! Mr. Jenners gets am award for at least being conscious enough to recognize the possibility of danger to his family.
Also wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you in our shared anniversary of sadness. *hugs*
Hope you are hanging in there. I have my up days and my down days. Hugs to you as well.
You just made me laugh and laugh until I coughed and almost peed my pants. Thank you for the chuckles.
Sorry about that! Get a hold of yourself, girl!
Aww, what a fun story! It’s good to know you’re protected, no matter where in his sleep cycle your protector might be
Of course, I would prefer a wide awake protector … somehow I think that would be more effective.
LOL!! This is so funny and sweet at the same time! Every single bit of it!!
I think you know my husband wouldn’t even wake up – let alone get out of bed for that. Way to go Mr. Jenners!
It is easy to excel when the stakes are so low! : )
That is so amazingly adorable! Give Mr. Jenners a big kiss from me.
Kiss given … no tongue was used since it was from you. (Eewwwww…can’t believe I just typed that.)
Dear Mr. Jenners, thank you for being a hero to our funny Mrs. Jenners. We love her. Do you realize how lucky/blessed you are to be married to such a wonderful, loving, special woman? Please continue to protect and cherish her, bring her flowers and chocolate on birthdays and holidays or even for no reason at all. Bring her breakfast in bed, rub her feet and tell her you’ll do the dishes tonight.
(How’m I doin’ Jen? Should I go on or is he onto me?)
I think he is on to you. He doesn’t recognize the woman you are talking about!!!
That’s hilarious. It’s good to be protected sometimes, even in his sleep. I always set off the alarm at my sister’s house, they finally got rid of the motion detector, so I can go and get a drink of water…
How funny that they got rid of the motion detector because of you! In our house, you’d be stuck upstairs until someone who could disarm the system woke up!
Awwww, come on – Mr. Jenners is way cuter than that guy in the pic! One time I thought there was someone breaking in the house and TBG’s answer to that was, “shh, just pretend you’re asleep”. Thanks! we could have been murdered in our beds. Good thing it was just my over active imagination.
Oh man … that is some horrid advice you got!!! What do you do … just sit there and wait to be slaughtered!!? And I bet all those cozies you read got your imagination working overtime!
(And I’m sure Mr. Jenners is taking your kind compliment to heart … way too much to heart.)
That is a funny story! Your husband sounds like my husband. And, you’re not losers. We do the same thing on Friday night. I don’t like going out that much. My husband sits in the arm chair and watches TV, while I sit on the couch and either read a book or blog. My husband always falls asleep watching TV too.
I’m glad we’re not alone in our “typical” Friday nights!
Hee, this is so cute and too funny! Well at least you know that the man you married is willing to risk his life for his family, even in a half-asleep state and probably not well-prepared to fight if attacked! Of course, he’s probably one of those heroes that can fight off all those burglars while half asleep by accidentally tripping them or knocking them out like in those comedy movies
Yes!!! That is the kind of hero he is … like Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther movies!
Oh how funny, I can just picture it. I would probably have slept right through it, I sleep like a rock.
I do sleep right through it … pretty much every night. He is almost always the last one up and I never come lurching out when he sets the alarm because I never hear it.
lol
I have an alarm system and let me tell you that if it does off {ok, I have sett it off by accident a few times} you will KNOW IT. without doubt.
it is so darn loud the entire neighborhood will know it. which is the point I guess.
We set it off once by accident and the Little One was so traumautized by the sound — he was about 2 at the time. I felt awfully guilty.
Awwww…. what a wonderful husband/daddy!! You and the little one should feel well protected (in theory, at least)!
I’ve not heard of head injuries from sneezing, but I have heard of back injuries. Sometimes it doesn’t take much!
Sent the book media mail this morning. Hope it doesn’t get lost in a blizzard on its way there!
Thanks again for the book!! I hope it finds its way here safely.
And maybe I shouldn’t make fun of him for hurting himself while sneezing if others are doing it too.
He is a hero – funny sneezing and all!
He’ll love your comment. (And he will read them … since the post is about him.)
Ha! My husband would have said, “I think the alarm is going off: go check it out!” Actually, he wouldn’t even have said that, sad to say, since he has a hearing disability and can’t even hear the register of the alarm system. (even though it is SO $%#*%ing loud!) So it would HAVE to be me! Ha, ha! Hear that burglers and murderers? It’s a free-for-all at my house!
Oh man … that is pretty darn bad!!! You’re in a bit of pickle, I suppose.
he’s the best sort of hero . . . one who doesn’t seem
like he would be. he’s made of strong stuff.
Exactly … he surprised me!
This was quite a funny post; I could envision my husband doing pretty much what yours did. I hate those alarms, in our other house the fire department arrived (2x) when burnt toast set the smoke alarm off. They said they would have to charge us the next time it happened….grrrrr
Smoke alarms are a different story. If we had those somehow connected to the fire dept, we would be charged a fortune. I’m always setting them off … and you cannot make bacon in this house without alarms going off.
At first, I thought that picture WAS Mr. Jenners, and I thought “OMG he is going to kick her ass!”. At least mine would. Mine doesn’t even like me talking about the stuff I do on Sunday Salon. But I think your moment of love was warranted. God bless our little sleepy heads for trying to protect their families. We have had the alarm go off in the middle of the night for no reason, and I think I’m better prepared to bash someone’s head in, but at least there is an effort to get up and fend off evil!
Oh I wish that picture WAS of Mr. Jenners. (Though he would kick my ass if I took a photo of him sleeping like that.) I love your phrase “our little sleepy heads.” Makes them seem so cute!
You chose well. One more excellent reason to keep him around. Even in sleep, he springs into Protector mode, which is really handy if you are the sort to spring into Cowering Hysteric mode when trouble lurks…I’m pretty sure I would be a snot-producing quavering mass of uselessness.
I actually think Mr. Jenners might be a snot-producing quavering mass of uselessness … if he was fully awake. HAHA!
What an adorable story, Jenners.
Your husband truly is a hero. My own experience last night wasn’t so heroic. I thought my husband’s head was our cat and so I gave the back of his head a good scratching. I was half asleep at the time, having woken up in the middle of the night. He was really nice about it but wondered what in the world I was trying to do.
That is so funny!!! I’m sure he wondered if you were trying to initiate some “hanky panky” in a weird way!
That is an adorable, funny, and wonderful post! Aren’t you two luck to have one another
We are lucky to have each other. Sometimes it takes something like this to remind me of that.
LOL this is too funny. Diane’s immediately the one to check unusual noises in the middle of the night, yet she will jump off of the couch and hide underneath it if there is a thunderstorm. So maybe there’s something to be said about hurting oneself with a sneeze.
(When i was younger I confused conscious with conscience)
Well, as long as there isn’t a problem during a thunderstorm, I think you have a hero too!
And too funny about conscious and conscience … I could totally see that happening!