This Post Brought To You by Warpcore SF
by Jenners • 02/26/2011 • Silliness • 60 Comments
Some days I sit down to write these witty pieces of genius blog posts, and I’m just plumb out of ideas. (Shocking, I know!) Rather than wait until inspiration hits, I meander around the Internet until I find something that amuses me or inspires me. Well, I hit a goldmine when I stumbled across a site called Warpcore SF. Enjoy the results.
From the Paranormal Romance Plot Generator:
He’s an invincible shapeshifter. She’s an ogre with a drink problem. But she thinks he wants to eat her. Will they find love?
A whore is woven into a tapestry by an evil dragon. Will her lover recognize her and change her back?
He’s a rabid elemental. She’s a fairy with hives. But she suspects his motives. Will they find love?
My Attempt: He’s an overweight vampire. She’s a wood sprite with splinters. Can they overcome their differences and find love?
Another of My Attempts: He’s a one-legged hobbit with a drinking problem. She’s a bulimic princess with genital warts. Will their offspring—a new breed of reptilian fairies with attitude problems—save the world?
From the Prophecy Generator:
Forsooth! A bear will refuse a cheesemonger. The world will crack. The sword bearer will light a ant.
A hedgehog will question a scientist. Hands will fall off. The hammer of the gods will leave a elephant.
The knight will carry an amulet of clay, and she will be destroyed by hazelnut.
My Attempt: Harken! A child will be denied a toy and a tantrum will rock the world. Legos will fall from the sky after a Toys R Us plane explodes over a suburban backyard. The child will be mollified.
Another of My Attempts: A husband will fail to notice a wife’s haircut. Crying and resentment will ensue. Sex shall be withheld.
From the Monster Generator:
He is a kleptomaniac orc with a mean streak. He is 1323 years old. He was once a mortal. He was borne away as a child by a mob.
She is a rabid poltergeist with a brutal left-hook. She was once a frog. She prefers to live in urban areas.
Your monster is a kleptomaniac mermaid with a tail. It is 1324 years old. It is attracted by chaos and has only one weakness: toothpaste.
My Attempt: She is a chubby housewife with a fondness for chocolate. Every month for a period of seven days, she morphs into a vengeful banshee who cannot reason.
She's a goofy blogger with a fondness for Face In Hole. Her penchant for silliness knows no bounds. She has one weakness: Thin Mints.
Please tell me this post inspired you to some silliness too! If it did, please share.
Ha! Very, very fun post.
Almost as fun as your post today!
I forgot everything funny and witty that you said and that I was thinking about when you said Thin Mints. mmmmm
Thin Mints have a way of doing that.
Jenners you are always soooooo funny! That photo is beyond priceless. How do you find this stuff?! Thank you for making me laugh, once again.
It is a rare talent I have. And as far as the photo, just go to faceinhole.com — hours of fun await you.
I knew a Face in the Hole post was coming. So glad I read it on a Monday because I needed the laugh.
I used to love Thin Mints but now I find them much too dry and chalky. Probably best for my post-Game On butt.
I can never go too long with a Face in Hole post. They are becoming my “trademark.”
And I’ll be happy to take any uneaten Thin Mints off your hands! : )
It inspired me to guffaw when I saw you morphed with gollum–now there’s a story just waiting to be told!
I love the word guffaw! It is a very underused word.
You make me laugh! I think you should try writing some of those stories.
I’d probably end up a best-selling author.
You are just too funny. Loved this. The photo was perfect!!!
It was scary how well my face fit into Gollums.
I think we should have to all do a face in the hole in your honor. Just a suggestion. I just read a post from a friend that said, “the girls scouts are lying! I’ve been eating these thin mints all weekend and I have lost a pound.” LOL
Oh I love that Thin Mint quote! They should put it on the boxes!
LOL – You are always good for a laugh or two.
That is my mission.
This is totally hilarious and made my evening. I had to go over and try the romance one, and here is what I got: A designer is tortured for information.Can the love of a bloodthirsty warrior save her?
Who comes up with these things, I sometimes wonder.
I think the designer is Vera Wang! : )
The McGuffin is the piece of technical wizardry that a sci-fi plot often revolves around. Technology with the power to cure world hunger, provide faster-than-light transport, time travel, or simply blow everything up. If you’re stuck for a convincing name for your McGuffin try this generator, and you’ll be blinding people with technobabble in no time.
In a lab in the DC suburbs, a mad scientist has developed a McGuffin that will change life as we know it.
While sitting in traffic on I-495, he unleashed his Biological Balderdash Transporter…and like a flash, all 464 members of Congress vanished.
Three seconds later, Senator John Kerry tweets, “Toto, I think we ARE in Kansas, after all”.
The end
I can see that this site is going to provide you with much blog fodder!
I haven’t seen these generators before, but I’m sure I could waste a lot of time there.
And if you ever feel like writing a paranormal romance, you know where to get your plot.
Anthropomorphic Personification Plot Generator:
Fate arrives in a theme park and promptly falls in love with a strange assassin.
But she suspects his motives. Will they find love?
Yes, it was Fate.
Too funny.
this is hilarious. I love it. You always surprise us. Have a great evening.
Glad you enjoyed it.
You’ll do anything to make us laugh, won’t you? I’ll be bookmarking those sites. You know I need another excuse to avoid housework.
Hope you’re having a great weekend!
Oh yes … I’m a laugh whore and will stop at NOTHING to make you guys laugh. It is shameless.
I love these!! Your attempt at the monster generator and the prophecy generator (your second one) fits me a little too well. Yikes!
Oh no … the prophecy is coming true!
The horror!
The horror!
Sweet dreams tonight.
My geekish heart shudders in love…
…just as a good geekish heart should.
This is so much fun!! I have to admit your last two attempts (haircut and chocolate) were the funniest of all.
Gollum has always creeped me out a bit as it is, so no comment on the picture. *shudder*
My Gollum self shall haunt your dreams … so sorry. : )
Jenners, that picture is priceless. You look divine.
Thank you my precioussssssssss!
The scary thing is there is probably someone writing those books as we speak.
I know!!! Now if we see a paranormal romance along these lines, we know where the author got the idea.
Your photo is too funny. Now I want to do a mashup of LoTR and Harry Potter. . . that plot generator sounds dangerous, I could waste hours of time on it.
The plot generator is a kick … and it does kind of get the creative juices flowing. If I hadn’t been so tired when I wrote the post, I would have done more.
Very good, I’ll be sure to check these sites out. A brilliant image by the way, I’ll never be able to look at Gollum in the same way ever again my pretty.
Mr. Jenners is having the same problem!
Well, I am totally not a crazy person. Way to serious for my own good, so I am not inspired quite that way, but I did have a wonderful laugh (which I totally needed!) So I am grateful for you! Enjoy your books.
Well, I’m glad you got a much-needed laugh! That is always a good thing.
I do not approve of silliness…I am a very serious person.
although I did consider putting a whoopee cushion on the judge’s chair during jury duty.
the fact that I am not in jail is a sign that I changed my mind.
Oh that would have been sooooo classic! I hope to serve on a jury with you someday.
omg!! you crack me up!! I’m running over to the Paranormal Romance Plot Generator now
Just wait until we see a plot that mirrors a book we are reading! Then we’ll know where the author got their idea!
Oh you had me rolling on the floor with laughter! This is just too hilarious! How in the world did you find that site?
I can’t remember the precise steps I took to find that site but as soon as a I did, it was like “YES! I have my post for tonight.”
LOL! I must check this site out…sounds like hours of meaningful fun!
It is very silly. And if you actually read sci-fi and fantasy, there is a lot of content too.
Darn it, I just got a new computer (a mac) and the monster generator didn’t work for me.
Hmmm…maybe Macs are anti-monster! That is weird … it is just a web site so I don’t know why it wouldn’t work.
Oh you crazy chica! I don’t even know what to say….cracked me up, so I’m grateful. Anything that makes me laugh is tops in my book
Enjoy the rest of your lovely weekend.
Glad to give you a giggle!