Book Blurb Friday: Tow Mater
by Jenners • 05/13/2011 • Fake Book Blurbs, My Writings, Silliness • 58 Comments
Hosted by Writing In The Buff
Each week, Lisa from Writing in the Buff posts a new photo, which participants pretend is the cover of a fake book. We then write a 150-word blurb for the book. The second I saw this week’s photo, the following concept popped into my head immediately. My apologies to the good folks at Pixar!
Tow Mater: The Unauthorized Biography by A. M. Uckraker
Audiences around the world love the silly hillbilly rustbucket Mater, the tow truck with a heart of gold, whose friendship with race car Lightning McQueen was immortalized in the animated smash hit Cars. But now, A.M. Uckraker reveals the seamy underside of Mater’s life, including his long-time addiction and abuse of synthetic race fuels, which lead to early and irreversible corrosion and a reduced IQ. Other scandals include the Miata Girls scandal of ’98, a 1975 “bolts for booze” scheme that resulted in a jail term, and a run-of-the-mill tow of three disabled cars that led to two totalings and a forced conversion into a Yugo. Ms. Uckracker also reveals the bombshell that when Mater hid out in the backwater of Radiator Springs, it was to avoid debtors and a Vespa scooter paternity suit.
“Shocking and juicy! I knew McQueen hung around with sleazes and losers.” –Chick Hicks, Disgraced Piston Cup Champion
“Waaaaahhhhhh!” –Disillusioned 7-year-old who idolized Mater
An unauthorized shot of the author, A. M. Uckracker, with Mater
I hereby giving you the “Cleverest Blogger of All” crown!!
I shall wear it at all times … even when cleaning toilets.
sad
I love that guy!
Very sad indeed.
So funny! I especially like the author photo!
She is a cute one! ; )
I have to admit that I thought tomato when I saw Tow Mater!
I could totally see that!!
This is hysterically funny. Fantastic take on this photo. http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com
Glad it gave you a giggle or two.
Oh my gosh, this is a joy from start to finish! I loved every word.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Say it ain’t so Mater! Say it ain’t so! haha! Also, could you PLEASE use face-in-a-hole in every post? It is my FAVORTIE feature and always makes me laugh out loud! I’m easy!
Maybe one day I’ll just do a Face in Hole every post and quit with the writing!
“abuse of synthetic race fuels” genius!
I don’t even know if there is such a thing but it sounds good, doesn’t it?
Clever. Like always
Aw shucks.
What a sense of humor. You took this week’s blurb from one laugh to another, even with your ending photo!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the kind comment.
This is absolutely wonderful, and I was laughing outloud the whole way through … love your picture with Mater so much too.
Mater sounds like THE high risk player of all towers. You did a fantastic job on this whole blurb and I thank you.
Hope your weekend is wonderful!
Kathy M.
Thank you for such a lovely comment. Hope your weekend is wonderful as well.
Yes, I’m reading the Lonely Polygamist, I believe it was your recommendation that prompted me to read it. Thanks I’m enjoying it. It’s been a slow reading month.
It could take up your whole reading month … it was a long (but satisfying) read.
You have such a great imagination, Jenners and this was so funny! I also loved the photo at the end. Great post!
Thanks. I love doing these blurbs.
lol! that tow mater is quite the wild one! all that and a paternity suit?! you are too much!!
Shocking, isn’t it? He was hiding so much from us!
This is such fun and very imaginative. Well done:-)
Thank you!
Ha!
Love it. What a fun idea!
And, btw everytime you repost that picture, it makes me laugh! It makes me think that if we lived in the same area, you would be a great (and fun) friend.
Have a great weekend.
The thing is, I don’t often look like this. My “natural at repose” face is very frowny looking for some reason. : )
HAhahaha!!! You’re a riot! This is hilarious. The Vespa scooter paternity suit did me in. Hehehehe….oh, man, what a great start to my morning.
Glad to have started your morning with a little chuckle. As usual, this was a fun meme to participate in.
Lol! Oh poor Mater-he was trying to keep this all secret.
Who knew that he was such a scandalous fella?
Hilarious! (Mustn’t let my son read this…)
I’m hiding it from my own child as well! : )
Riotous imagination you have – and such a wonderful choice of author’s name!
My imagination always surprises me. I wonder where this stuff comes from sometimes.
Is this why he imagines he and Lightning McQueen go on adventures like a trip to the moon or being a fire rescue squad. (Mater Tales).
Ahhh – shoooot.
Nice. Looking forward to the next movie. We’ll be taking T Rex to see it.
I might even more excited for Cars 2 than the Little One. I loved that movie. : )
Uproarious! I love the name A.M. Uckraker. (Describes many of today’s supposedly upstanding journalists.) And I wouldn’t be surprised if there really is a desert town named Radiator Springs! Great stuff!!
— K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
I agree … A.M.Uckracker could apply to anyone writing these celebrity exposes.
I never saw Cars. If I ever get around to watching it this will probably color my opinion! You are so imaginative!! Love the final photo, too.
You really should watch it. It is a fantastically funny film…even for grown-ups. My husband and I love it. Though I hate to think I’ve might have affected your view of Mater! : )
LOL! Loved it all (as always) but the Vespa paternity suit got the biggest smile
Glad you enjoyed it. And I’m sure when Gage gets old enough, you’ll be intimately familiar with all the Pixar movies to the point where you can recite dialogue from them.
Jenners,
This is the most creative blurb I’ve every seen! I love that picture at the end…perfect! I’ve never seen Cars either but have heard enough about it from my grandson that I got a really good laugh out of this!
~Jean
You really should watch it. It is a wonderful movie … though never reveal this information in this post to your grandson … it will devastate him! : )
You could have a career maligning Disney’s most beloved characters!
Love it!
So much possibility there. How about Nemo’s mom … murdered by the husband!? Or Bambi’s mother was a falling down drunk?
This is one of my favorites this week. I wrote a blurb from the car’s perspective, too, but mine is not even close to yours!
Fabulous!
I just read yours … I loved it!! It cracks me up that we both wrote about the car’s story.
Once again you slay me. Love your photo.
: )
LOL, ha, that was hilarious – loved the photo at the end! I don’t think I ever saw Cars, (and my son will disown me if he knew that as he is a huge Pixar fan), but even with not knowing the movie, I thought this blurb was a great (funny) follow-up! Nice job.
Cars is a wonderful movie … even if you don’t have a little kid to justify watching it. My husband and I loved it … even after it was playing for the 50th time. I’m actually so excited that Cars 2 is coming out! : )