Guess who is 44 today? Moi! (I know, I know … I don’t look a day over 20!)
In honor of my birth, I’ve decided to celebrate by having a giveaway extravaganza! (OK … when you see what I’m actually giving away, perhaps “extravaganza” is too big of a word. But I had to get you to read this post somehow, right?)
First of all, I will be giving away three of my RIP books: Faithful Place by Tana French, Blacklands by Belinda Bauer and The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff (I still need to write the review for the last one). The entry form is at the end of this post. Just fill it out and you’re entered to win.
Secondly, I’m also giving away 44 pieces of wisdom that I’ve accumulated during my time here on Earth! This way, EVERYONE is a winner even if you don’t get one of the books! So here you go—absolutely 100%, free advice from someone who you probably shouldn’t listen to all that closely.
44 Pieces of Wisdom From Jenners
- The bad things in life that will happen to you are probably something you’ll never be able to predict or prepare for so don’t worry too much and just enjoy life while you can.
- Chances are, nothing will happen to you when you eat raw eggs in cake batter or cookie dough.
- If you can’t lie well, just tell the truth.
- Flattery and begging will get people to write a custom song for you based on your own blog post.
- Dance like no one is watching. (And check to make sure no one really is watching because, if you’re like me, you can’t dance at all.)
- If you are incapable of remembering to take coupons when you do the shopping, don’t waste your time cutting them out in the first place.
- Kids like when you are silly.
- Everything in life worth having (kids, puppies, spouses) requires quite a bit of work on your part.
- You can’t change people.
- Short-term pain equals long-term gain.
- Do what you love and the money will follow. Unless what you love doing is reading and writing about books you’ve read, in which case you might occasionally get a pittance from Amazon if you remember to include affiliate links on your book review posts.
- Vacations are an essential part of life. Don’t ever let your vacation days go unused.
- A good night’s sleep can make almost any situation look better.
- Authors who haven’t written a bad book yet (as far as I know): Tana French, Bill Bryson, A.J. Jacobs, Mary Roach.
- A little bit of chocolate is OK. Lots of chocolate is even better.
- If your husband tells you to try something and has a camera ready to document your reaction, be very very careful.
- Getting the mail can be fun … even if you hardly ever get anything but junk mail and bills because occasionally you get something good!
- It is good form to write thank you notes.
- Walking in the rain with the rain drops hitting your umbrella is a pleasant feeling.
- Curing up in bed with rain tapping against your windows and reading a good book is even more of a pleasant feeling.
- Deciding to make a list with more than 10 items on it can be daunting when you didn’t think about what you were going to say beforehand.
- Puppy paws and baby feet are among the cutest things in the world.
- Ignore your phone and the computer when spending time with your loved ones.
- Vegetables just aren’t very good but you should try to eat them at least once a day anyway.
- Walking is good exercise, free and easy. Do it as much as possible.
- People know when you use fake tanning stuff.
- After age 40, you just don’t care so much what people think and life gets easier.
- You can never have too much butter on your popcorn.
- There is a book that I enjoyed and gave away in a giveaway being given away again by another blogger. Go enter to try and win it! (If you could even understand what I was trying to say in that first sentence.)
- Writing a list of 44 bits of wisdom you learned isn’t easy … especially when you are not very wise to begin with.
- Don’t cheat at board games. It is stupid to do so and annoying to others.
- Don’t cook everything on high heat. Things will burn.
- If you still have to look up how to boil eggs at age 44, chances are you are never going to be a good cook.
- Wheat bread isn’t actually all that bad.
- Although 35 seems like it isn’t all that far from 44, it is when you are writing down nuggets of wisdom.
- If you want to buy something, wait a week to see if you still want it.
- The previous bit of wisdom does not apply to books.
- Painting your kitchen yellow is a good idea. It looks sunny and happy.
- Clothes with hidden elastic waistbands are your friend.
- There is no need to keep up with the Kardashians.
- It is fun to shower people you love with gifts.
- If you shower people you love with gifts, they might shower you with gifts too.
- Very few people have the same idea of what constitutes “warm.”
- You should try all foods at least once just to see if you like them. Even something that sounds as wrong as “cheesecake.”
If these 44 nuggets of wisdom weren’t enough for you, here is the form to fill out to enter the giveaway for the books.No more submissions accepted at this time.