My First Taste of Coffee: A Photo Essay
by Jenners • 09/21/2011 • My Take On..., Silliness • 108 Comments
Although I am perpetually sluggish, I’ve never drunk coffee. The other day, I decided to try coffee for the first time to see what it was like and to determine if it would help give me more energy. Mr. Jenners, who I suspect knew what was to come, suggested that I try drinking it black first to see if I liked the taste. The fact that he had his camera out and was ready to document my reaction should have clued me in something was amiss, but I didn’t make the connection. So, I present to you, my reaction to my first taste of coffee.
I think I’ll try soda or tea. Me and coffee are SO OVER!
This is hilarious! I used to be a Starbucks barista, and it’s funny…probably about 60% of the people who worked there didn’t like the taste of coffee! I, on the other hand, was in heaven (we got free drinks).
Never try french pressed coffee. You’d die.
But I concur with other posters: start with something frozen and topped with whipped cream. Or better quality beans. *cough* not Starbucks, because they over roast their beans *cough*
Hmmm…a Starbucks defector. Don’t worry … I won’t report you. I think something with whipped cream and lots of sugar is more my speed.
Oh man, Jenners, this made my whole day. I am so, so sorry! Haha!
(I am a 2-3 cup a day gal. Half and half and sugar all the way though)
Hey, I laugh at your pain all the time so we’re even!! HAHA!
We are so alike! I have never had coffee either. And I have no interest in it either. Love the photo montage!
I’m sure this cured you of any need to taste it!
Cream and sugar! Especially flavored cream. That will do the trick nicely. Trust me. Though if the look on your face is any indication, you probably won’t. Coffee is definitely an acquired taste. I didn’t start drinking it regularly until I was about 30. And Pumpkin Spice Lattes are Starbucks are, indeed awesome. As are Gingerbread Lattes (which come out closer to Christmas). Plus you can also buy the gingerbread flavored coffee cream in the store around that time, too.
I’m thinking that those pumpkin flavored things with whipped cream might be more to my liking. Plain coffee is not a way to start out!
Coffee is not worth drinking unless it’s mixed with lots of yummy, sugary goodness. Pumpkin spice lattes, peppermint mochas and toffee nut lattes get me through the dark winters. Black coffee? Never. Blech. Awesome pics though!
Pumpkin spice latte sounds pretty good. I better get it while it is here. Sounds seasonal.
You couldn’t have “said” it better! I’m with you – diet coke and tea for me.
This truly is a case where a picture is worth a 1000 words.
Coffee needs sugar and real cream – none of that solo black stuff. No wonder you made the YUCK face.
I’ve learned that now. Mr. Jenners just wanted to have a little fun at my expense I suspect.
Ha!!!!! I drink 3-5 cups of strong black (no sugar, no cream) coffee a day. I could live on coffee — Oh, wait! I do.
Wow! You are hard core. Very hard core!
Ha, that was rather evil of Mr. Jenners! I haven’t had black coffee – I only like it well-disguised with chocolate or booze.
Are you sure you haven’t met Mr. Jenners? You describe him so well. And I think a huge dollop of chocolate might cure my dislike of coffee!
oh no! lol…no no no. Have you been to Starbucks darling? They add whipped cream to their coffee. I recommend the Mocha.
But being a coffee lover I do like Dunkin Donuts coffee, black with a little sugar. I brew myself a cup every morning without fail.
The coffee that I tried was the Dunkin Donuts brand that they sell. I think the whipped cream type coffees are more my speed. Starbucks, here I come!
I was about 35 before I started drinking coffee and now I only have it with lots of milk and splenda. Black coffee is the worst! Great photo essay!
I agree with that statement … black coffee is the worst!
This cracked me up and I needed that today! Try it again with Flavored Creamer…Vanilla Caramel or White Chocolate! Have a great day.
Jackie
Glad you got some happiness from my misery!! HAHA! I’ve since learned that the sugar to coffee ratio needs to be much much higher!
I went years without drinking coffee, but I do drink it now. I discovered a Fair Trade flavour that is pretty good and I drink it with chocolate milk instead of milk or cream (which I always think tastes like milk that has gone sour…).
Ooohhh…adding chocolate milk instead of regular milk! What a good idea. I’d not thought of that. Thanks for the tip!
Mr. Jenners is a trickster, and you are an amazingly good sport!
Your first coffee should be “candy coffee” – get a ‘regular’ coffee at Dunkin Donuts – it’s loaded with cream and sugar and tastes like dessert.
It is clear to me now that Mr. Jenners was having a bit of fun at my expense and knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He had no interest in introducing me to coffee. He wanted cheap laughs. Candy coffee it is!
I didn’t start drinking coffee til I was almost 30 and I drank itr black with vamilla creamer and lots of sugar. Then I dropped the creamer. Then I went on the Sugar Busters Diet (slug be gone. I never had so much energy as I had those 2 months!) and started drinking it black. I’ve never gone back to the extras.
! so we have it on weekends. It’s very weak so you may want to start with that. When you try coffee again in say, 10 years? 
Jason likes Folger’s
(I agree with Kay about getting your thyroid checked. It’s amazing the high percentage of women that have issues with it)
I”m definitely going to get my thyroid checked. I’ve always been a low energy type of person but it has gone beyond that. When your kid is always saying “You need that 5 Hour Energy stuff, Mommy,” you know you got a problem.
Sounds like you climbed the Coffee Mountain and got to the top — all black!
OMG…I just blew my night coffee out my nose when I saw this! LOL
I started drinking coffee every morning with my mom when I turned 13 ! The rest is history.
There seems to be a strong tradition of parents introducing their children to coffee as evidenced in the comments. I would have never guessed!! : )
That was not nice of Mr. Jenners!! I adore coffee and it’s awful black! You really should try it with half and half and sugar or start with a coffee drink at Starbucks…
)
It really doesn’t matter how good the coffee is when its black…it just varying degrees of yucky. But milk, half n’ half, cream sugar sweet n low and it’s a whole different experience.
You are sooo cute in the pictures
Cute is not the first word that springs to my mind when I saw those photos but thanks anyway. And why a drink that must have its flavor masked is so popular is beyond me.
Oh, I so needed this laugh today! Yes, coffee by itself is bitter. I’m still not a fan of black coffee. What you need is coffee that tastes like a candy bar (unfortunately it has a similar calorie count to a candy bar too). I love a good hot mocha – but then considering how much cream, sugar & chocolate are involved it’s not a surprise that this is my favorite.
If you really want to know if you’d like sweetened coffee go and try a moolatte from Dairy Queen. It’s like a coffee milkshake sent from heaven.
If you don’t like that then you surely wouldn’t like any kind of coffee (candy-bar flavored or otherwise).
I don’t remember my first coffee – my mom used to let me drink a little bit of coffee with lots of milk and sugar when I was little and I’ve always loved the flavor. I guess I’m just odd that way.
Well, I guess I’d just rather have a candy bar!! I love that you have the ultimate coffee test drink. If I don’t like the Moolatte, then that is is for me and coffee.
I love the pictures’ progressing from that first awful sip to the aftertaste, it looks like you want to hit Mr. Jenners over the head with the coffee pot.
I didn’t start drinking coffee until university and even then I put 8 sugars and milk in it. I’ve cut down to decaf with 1 sweetener and milk over time. However, I prefer my coffee buried in a mocha latte.
This latte business seems to be the way to go. It is shame that Mr. Jenners didn’t videotape it. Then you would have heard me yell some rather unfriendly things at him after I finished the first taste.
Would I have also heard him laughing hysterically? I think it’s time you thought of something for HIM to try…
Sorry to know that you didn’t like your first cup of coffee, Jenners. Coffee is my favourite drink and I have been having it since, I think, I was around 10. I used to drink around 6 cups a day at one point of time
Now I drink one cup. Sorry to know that you didn’t like it even with some sugar and milk. I never drink black coffee. It is always with milk and with some sugar. Maybe you can wait for sometime till you forget about your first coffee experience and then try it again with milk and sugar. I hope your second cup of coffee is better 
I’ve been convinced that I need to try a “dessert” type coffee with lots of whipped cream and other flavors to disguise the taste. And it amazes me how young so many people tried coffee for the first time. I always thought was an adult drink. Maybe that was just my house … my parents didn’t want us having any more energy or stay up any later than necessary.
Okay, I first started drinking coffee when I worked in a really cold office….I didn’t like it….but I got sort of used to the bitterness of it….it kept me warm. Then my brother-in-law introduced me to flavored creamers….and even the alcoholic ones….mmmm…..I do need coffee to keep me going/get me going….so I keep French Vanilla creamer in my fridge….make my coffee not too strong (I suspect that may have been the case with your first cup)….and off I go!
Yes … I suspect I was set up by Mr. Jenners. There was no talk of flavored creamers or ALCOHOL!!! : )
I laughed so hard at this photo montage! Mr. Jenners played a cruel trick on you, because coffee with a lot of cream and sugar is divine. My husband is the world’s biggest coffee lover, and I have already sent him the link to your post. It will just reinforce your comedic prowess to him.
Yes … Mr. Jenners is horribly cruel. I should have known better. And I’m sure your husband will think I’m total doofus, which would be correct.
Now Jen, black coffee for the first time and you expect to like it?
I take mine with milk and honey but I just drink it so I can stay awake. Forget about coffee, just give me CHOCOLATE! That I can take black with no sugar, anytime!
Oh I can eat/drink my chocolate as dark as possible!! I think I’ll just stick with that. And I didn’t expect to “like” it but I didn’t think it was going to taste THAT bad!! : )
LOL! It really does taste great with milk! I promise!
Well, I tried it with milk afterwards and it was slightly more tolerable. But still, it wasn’t something I really really wanted! Plus I don’t care for milk all that much either.
As a child my dad used to pour it over bread and serve it to us for lunch. Coffee bites. I still HATE it.
Poured it over bread and served it for lunch???!!! What the heck?
No, no, no you’ve only had one cup black no sugar. There are a ton of other ways to have it and lots of different types of coffee. Coffee loves often hate other types than what they drink. I’d say get a better type of coffee try with sugar one spoonful then two try with milk with creamer with flavored creamer. A strong espresso type, a mild type of coffee and a light blend. See lot’s of combos don’t quit after just one try. Make it an experiment try each type each combo there are probably a million of them.
Thanks for the advice. Everyone has been so helpful and so anxious to get me to try it another way! I’m beginning to wonder why my husband is drinking such bad coffee now!
Oh, I’m sorry but these photos had me on the floor laughing
Jason’s the exact same way as you. In fact, he makes the same face whenever he takes a sip of my coffee and then tells me that he just reconfirmed how much he hates coffee. Of course, I don’t drink it black all the time….only when I really need the kick. I always need cream and a bit of sugar in mine 
By the way, E loves coffee too, unfortunately. Well, at least in the form of frappacinos.
E likes coffee? Well, if a child can enjoy a frappacino, then maybe I can too. And I love that Jason has to keep reconfirming that he doesn’t like it!! I only needed one taste to tell me forever!
Here’s the way to have coffee. There are 3 main ways:
1. coffee ice cream (preferably with hot fudge sauce)
2. java chip frappuccino
3. cuban coffee (little bit of coffee with 5 tons of sugar and hot whipped cream)
All the other ways are non good ways.
I knew you would have the answer! I like the first option … I”ll just skip the ice cream part.
I believe you. I don’t do black coffee either.
I think it is a rarity that people drink it black.
Haha, that’s amazing! The acid in coffee bothers my stomach now, for whatever reason, but even when I drank it, I always poured in copious amounts of milk. Black tea is much nicer, and better for you anyway
It seems that NO ONE drinks coffee black. It needs to have tons of sugar and milk. So why is it so popular!? I should try tea.
Another coffee hater of the world here to unite. I don’t even like coffee-flavored candy, or anything with the word “mocha.”
I never liked it either, which is why I never tried it. Even watered-down as “coffee” ice cream, it is vile.
That is exactly how I feel about the taste of coffee too. Love the smell, just can’t drink it even all Starbucks prettied up.
See, I don’t even like the smell! As far as I’m concerned, it tastes just like it smells!
You crack me up. I worked as a barista at coffeeshops all through college and so I’m a coffee addict and I definitely drink it black. It takes some getting used to though.
It seems like you have to “step up” to black coffee. You don’t start there. I suspect Mr. Jenners knew that. I should have known that. He dumps tons of Equal in his coffee!
BLACK!!! No wonder….I, like most all of your other commenters, only drink it with cream and sugar. Hilarious, though. Mr. Jenners….
You do know that this is only encouraging Mr. Jenners to think of equally horrible stunts to torture me and entertain you, right?
I’ve never tasted coffee either, but I imagine my reaction would be the same. I don’t even like the smell of coffee. Blech! Love the photos Mr. Jenners got, though.
That is why I never tried it before … I don’t think the smell is very appealing. So I’ll save you the pain: it is horrific!
Classic! I could have told you it tasted icky and saved you a whole lotta’ yuck. I am one of the few who doesn’t like coffee. I will tell you that I was also sluggish and got my thyroid checked. Bingo! Now I am right as rain and full of energy with my thyroid medicine
You are the second one to mention getting my thyroid checked. In fact, I read an article about thyroid stuff recently and thought “That sounds JUST like my problem.” I plan to get it checked at the doctor next month. I hope it is that so I can get it fixed and feel “right as rain.” (Love that phrase!)
Thanks for the laugh on this bleak day! I’m not a coffee drinker, but I still find it hard to believe you’ve never tried coffee before. Methinks Mr. Jenners has a mean streak in him.
Oh I’m positive that Mr. Jenners has a mean streak in him! He gets his jollies however he can!
what a great morning essay
Glad you enjoyed it. It is suitable for morning viewing … while drinking coffee preferably.
I’ve evolved to now drinking my coffee black with one Equal int it. For you, I’d advise to make it easy on yourself next time – head to Starbucks and get something that has whipped cream on it. Pumpkin Spice Latte is always a good one – I’m confident you’ll be hooked then!
It’s a perfect treat!
I like how you’ve evolved into a one Equal drinker. Can anyone drink it black I wonder? There is a Starbucks in our Target … I’ll have to give it a try and order the frothiest, whipped creamiest thing I can find.
OMG! What a reaction. You should’ve drank it like I do, have a cup of sugar and add some coffee.
Obviously my ratios are off!! A cup of sugar to 1/4 teaspoon of coffee is probably a better fit for me!! : )
Coffee gives me the jitters and keeps me up at night (I cannot drink it past noon if I want to sleep) — even decaf is not decaf enough for me. However, I love the taste but NOT black! Too bitter. It’s best with at least a quarter cup of milk (or more) — I usually heat it first — and two sugars (or more)! I think you should give it another try but doctor it up first!
Love these pics, though — so funny!
I definitely wrong. So far, I think everyone drinks it with tons of sugar and whipped cream and chocolate and creamer.
I love coffee
But I do have friends who have had similar reactions when they had the first taste of coffee . All the best for tea trials 
I’m thinking of experimenting with tea before attempting more coffee drinks. But, then again, you can’t put whipped cream in tea, right?
I can’t believe you’d never tried coffee! I’m not a big fan of the stuff…unless it’s in latte form with syrup. In other words, dessert for breakfast!
I agree — “dessert for breakfast” is the right way to drink coffee!
I know … weird that this is my very first taste of coffee. But obviously I’m doing it wrong as this tasted NOTHING like dessert!
LOL!! I’m not a fan of coffee either, but for me it’s because I can’t taste it at all. It’s like it’s so strong that my tastebuds don’t register is, just tastes like hot water for me, with a mild aftertaste. I love the way it smells, though!
Wow … you can’t taste that strong and horrible of a taste? That is something!
My tastebuds have a strange threshold for taste. If something is too strong, I can no longer taste it. I discovered this when I was about 12 years old. My grandmother found a couple jars of pickles that she’d forgotten about. They’d been picking for 15 years. She fed them to my cousins and me. Everyone kept saying how sour they were, could hardly eat them, but I couldn’t taste them at all. Just tasted like slightly strange-flavored water.
Taste is my strongest sense. I can taste how close to expiration milk is, and if iceberg lettuce has ever even touched something I eat, I can taste it. Things like that. I imagine that’s why I have a shut-down threshold. I like coffee if it’s in small doses and mixed with something else, like a shot of espresso mixed with chocolate ice cream. Then it’s good. But on it’s own? Can’t taste it.
Wow- your first taste of coffee? Seriously? I use to drink it black. I rarely drink it at all now and add milk when I do. Most days I prefer hot tea with sugar and half & half.
That was kinda mean of Mr. Jenners!
I agree .. it was mean of Mr. Jenners. I was set up!!! And it is amazing that I’ve been alive 43 years and never tasted coffee before now. I never thought it smelled very good.
I think coffee beans smell great, but taste horrible. I do like a rare Starbucks mocha, but I am sure it’s the chocolate syrup and whipped cream that allow me to drink it.
My granddaughter loves McDonald’s Frappacino (sp?), and nagged me to get us both one. I think I’d rather drink dirty dish water (after it’s been sent through a strainer).
I think whipped cream and chocolate syrup is more my taste and style! Wow … McDonalds should hire you to write their menu descriptions!
This would have been me if anyone had documented my first taste of coffee. I’ve had it straight, sugared, fru-fru (cappachino, frothy, milky whatsit stuff). Don’t matter–I don’t like it. I’ve been told it’s an acquired taste. Why on earth would you want to drink something you have to _acquire_ a taste for? Go wash your mouth out with chocolate!
I agree … if you don’t like something at first taste, why continue to try and like it? Taking your advice and going to get some chocolate now. Don’t need to tell me twice.
OK, that was cruel. LOL Coffee, black, for the first time?? Ick! And I am a coffee drinker since childhood. My grandmothers, both of them, introduced me to coffee when I was about 6. Now, it was pretty much like the lattes that exist now. Tiny little bit of coffee, lots of milk and of course at that time, sugar. You come to Texas, girlfriend, and I’ll fix you up with some coffee you will like. Good coffee. I still drink it “doctored” up. I drink 2 cups in the morning – limiting myself – and I put milk in it (about 1/4 cup) and 2 Splenda. Right now, I am using Komodo Dragon from Starbucks as my grind of choice. For me, that first sip of coffee in the morning is the best part of getting up (hey, isn’t that slogan??). I do not drink Folgers though. Sorry. Little bit of a snob here in that regard. When we lived in Portland, OR, I was in heaven coffee-wise.
But, if you are just one of those people who doesn’t like it, you are not alone. My mother loved the smell of coffee and never could get to like the taste. Even fixed up. (P.S. not to pry or anything, but sluggish-wise – have you had your thyroid checked?) Thanks for sharing your “coffee journey” with us!!
You had your first taste of coffee at 6!? Wow. That is hard core! Thanks for all the tips. I’m thinking that it definitely matters what blend and what you put in it. I’ll have to experiment with some flavored coffees from a more “reputable” source than Mr. Jenners.
And thanks for the thyroid tip. I actually read an article about that recently and thought “Hmmm…I wonder if that could be my problem.” I plan to ask about it at my next doctor appointment.
Hahahahaha. Those pictures are great! I could never drink coffee black but I love it with flavored creamer. I am on my second cup of the day and I will try to cap it at that.
Well I think I’ll cap it at the one mouthful I tried!! I’m sure sugar and creamer would help but I’m traumatized right now.
AWESOME! I love you even more knowing that you hate coffee as much as I do.
Coffee haters of the world unite!
I can’t drink it black. With cream and Splenda though? Yep. I drink a cup a day…sometimes I will drink iced coffee at the end of a day if I have a lot going on.
Mr. Jenners asked you to drink it black first so you could maintain your girlish figure. I’m sure he didn’t do it to get a reaction out of you. Even though he had a camera aimed and focused, ready to go. Men!
Men! is right. He set me up — knowing full well that I would have a reaction like that. I then tried it with some sugar and then some milk but it wasn’t really any better. I need to try some kind of flavored coffee I think.
You are exaggerating, it is not that bad is it? Let someone who knows, make you a better cup maybe? What’d he feed you – Folgers? Nah, probably not.
Man, I cannot imagine life without coffee. Seriously.
I agree. The KIND of coffee you get makes a huge difference.
He did say afterwards that it wasn’t the best coffee. (Some kind of Dunkin Donuts brand that he gets as Sam’s Club.) I’m pretty sure I was set up … and it was that bad!!!