Publisher: Grand Central Publishing, 2011
Genre: Fiction/Non-Fiction (???), Humor, Essays
Where I Got It: Bought It
My Rating: 4.5 stars
This is a very silly and funny book. I loved it. This is the kind of book I’m always looking for but so rarely find—one chock-a-block full of smart silliness and intellectual goofiness. (It gave me the same joy as reading Woody Allen’s Without Feathers or Side Effects.) It was love at first browse.
I first saw the book at an airport book store. I thought to myself “Demetri Martin. Is that the guy from The Daily Show?” I picked up the book to see if it was (it was) and started paging through. From the very first page of the introduction called “How To Read This Book,” I was hooked:
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got it. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.
Flipping to the next page, I started reading the first essay called “Announcements.”
Thank you for coming to the show. Before tonight's performance begins there are a few announcements. Please pay attention. Flash photography is not permitted at any time during the show. Also, there is no recording of any kind allowed during the show. This includes both audio and video recording, as well as sketching, journaling, documenting, making mental notes, reminiscing, reviewing, or remembering anything at all with your mind. Any recording devices that we find will be taken away from you and juggled recklessly by the clown you see standing near the left exit.
Too well trained by Mr. Jenners to buy the book for full price from an airport bookstore (sorry, Mr. Martin), I waited until I got home and ordered it from Amazon. It was fun from beginning to end. This is the kind of book that will either grab your funny bone or it won’t. So, to give you a better idea of the kind things you’ll find inside, here are a few excerpts.
From “Palindroms For Specific Occasions” (Seriously, how can you not love a book that includes five full pages of palindromes?)
GENTLY INFORMING A DJ THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE SOUND SYSTEM: No music is, um, on.
THE HEAD BAKER AT A BAKERY INSTRUCTING A NEW EMPLOYEE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH CUSTOMERS AND THEN SUDDENLY NOTICING WHAT THE NEW BAKER HAS MADE: Snub no man. Nice cinnamon buns!
A GUY EXPLAINING TO HIS FRIEND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT OPERAS AS HE ACCIDENTALLY RUNS INTO A BEEHIVE: See, bro, operas are poor—Bees!
From Honors & Awards (for Which I Would Qualify)
National Champion at being the ex-boyfriend who is most consistently awkward around his ex-girlfriend and/or anyone who is even a casual acquaintance of hers.
A scholarship awards to Greek Americans who have done very little for the Greek American community but definitely look Greek American, no matter what outfit they are wearing.
Top 40 people under 40 who live in my apartment building
Award for Perfect Attendance on Earth for Whole Life So Far
Nobel Prize for Chemistry with Very Cute Women Who Turn Out To Already Have Boyfriends
I could sit here and type excerpts that cracked me up all night long but that would be silly. Hopefully, you’ve gotten a feel for the book. (You could also watch him on The Daily Show or his stand-up comedy act.) But let me just share a few of the essay titles with you: Optimist, Pessimist, Contortionist; Frustrating Uses of Etc.; A Capella Group Freak Accidents; Confessions of a White Guy with Dreadlocks; Excerpts from My Often-True Autobiography. Plus there are funny drawings and charts included.
So, to sum up, this is a very funny book and you should read it. (Oh, and I’ll be keeping my copy so don’t look for it in a giveaway. This is one I’ll keep and read whenever I need to giggle.)
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