Writer’s Workshop: Never, Ever EVER Ask Your Spouse…
by Jenners • 10/13/2011 • Mr. Jenners, Silliness, Writers Workshop • 67 Comments
- Link up every Thursday!
This week, I’m going with Prompt 1: A list of ten things you should never ask your spouse.
- Hey, I’m writing a blog post about 10 things you should never ask your spouse. Do you have any ideas for it? * **
- Hypothetically, what is your definition of cheating? **
- Could you help me put this IKEA furniture together?
- Aren’t you looking forward to spending the next 50 years with me?
- Don’t you think it would be great if we worked AND lived together?
- Weren’t you putting money away for retirement?
- Where is that prenup we signed?
- I’m the sole beneficiary for your IRA and life insurance, right?
- I’m not sure exactly how you pronounce it but have you ever heard of the term menage a trois? *** **
- Can you look at this blog post I wrote and tell me honestly what you think?
* Because then your spouse will get all involved and criticize everything you just wrote by calling it hackneyed and “funny 50 years ago but not now.” Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything.
** Anything marked with a ** is from Mr. Jenners. He insisted on getting credit for all of his contributions.
*** A nod to Seinfeld.
Noted – I will make note and learn from your experiences. Although, a couple of those I should probably ask.
Let me guess … you want to make sure he is saving for retirement and you are the sole beneficiary! HAHA!
I think Bill Clinton covered question #2!
You’re so right!! “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” If you define sexual relations as strictly intercourse!
lol
funny, my hubby doesn’t even know I blog. And #8 is a gem.
Really? He doesn’t know you blog? How do you hide it???? : )
Can I move in with you guys? Because I have a feeling you have some seriously entertaining interactions. Awesome post as usual.
Seriously entertaining like looking at one of those bickering couples on the Amazing Race. I live the good life … HAHA!
Too funny. A nod to Seinfeld is always appreicated. I saw an episode a few nights ago and I laughed at Jerry’s huge tshirt and little jeans. I miss that show.
I miss it too … good thing it lives on in reruns. We’re always referencing Seinfeld in our house.
Lol, I love the 1st one.
I learned the hard way with that one!
So funny. No. 9 made me laugh out loud, literally.
Are you a Seinfeld fan then? : )
I all of them, but point 1 is especially relevant – I suggest condensing it to: I’m writing a blog post, Do you have any ideas for it? As in my experience it always leads to problems
I know!! Every time I have involved him in my blog, it has led to tension and frustration.
Lol! Great list. I wonder what my husband would say.
Why don’t you ask him and find out? I’m sure it would lead to an interesting post. HAHA!
I’m sensing a theme there with the questions Mr Jenner came up with…LOL!! I just asked my husband the sole beneficiary question and he got all suspicious! I probably should’ve added that one to my list too!!
Loved this…made me giggle out loud!
Thanks for noticing that!! I was kind of getting a little suspicious of Mr. Jenners as well!
Ha, this is hilarious! Mr. Jenners seems to have a one track mind I see. lol. I’ve learned not to bother asking for anyone’s opinion because it’s usually not of any use to me anyway.
You got it! He has a one track mind … the one track that most men’s minds run on!
Oh, these are just too funny! I think I’ve asked Jason a few of these before. Definitely #10 since he’s like my editor. Of course, a lot of the times his reply is “Yea, it looks good” which is totally pointless since I *know* what I wrote looks good.
And what is it with men and menage a trois? Jason’s not into it since he doesn’t appreciate a third wheel but I know so many other guys who think it’s a cool idea. Have they ever thought that not all menage a trois involve 2 girls? I bet they would think twice if it involved another man, right? (unless they prefer it that way)
I know!!! The assumption is that a menage a trois would involve a very hot woman … and the chances are very high that if it actually happened, it would not and it would awkward and weird for everyone. : )
I have to say that I’m not entirely pleased with the apparent theme running through Mr. Jenner’s contributions. Therefore, I think you and me and Mr. Jenners could probably arrange a menage a beat-the-s&*#-out-of-him session.
I like the way you’re thinking!
Sometimes it’s better to not know! Great post!!
As they say, ignorance is bliss.
Love your questions… and the funny thing is that I did exactly what number 1 says… my husband looked at my like what blog???? LOL!!!
Too funny. I find that leaving my husband out of my blog is best for all of us. Why I haven’t learned this lesson yet, I don’t know.
a few you forgot:
How many pants sizes have you been through over the course of our marriage?
Why is sex so important to you?
Did you read my blog today?
Well I know the answer your third question is always “no.” : )
LOL, love this list!
It was as a fun collaboration. And by fun I mean “eye-opening” and “vaguely disturbing.”
Love them all Jenners, and I think I agree with you completely!! And don’t forget the question, “Does it feel like we have been married forever?” Trust me on that one.
You’re so right … that is a double-edge sword!
Love the IKEA project one – that is a marriage killer…that and the Santa gifts that take 3 hours to put together – we try to avoid those as well. Great list!
Putting together IKEA furniture has caused more arguments and cursing in our house than any other issue!
Some choice ones, indeed! Stopping by from Mama Kat’s
Thanks for the visit.
Made me smile.
My list would include:
*Hun, can I ask you a question?
*You love me, right?
“You love me, right?” is one of those that shouldn’t be asked or answered!
I don’t think mine has ever even looked at my blog. I don’t know if I should be happy or insulted!
Never!!??? Not once??? He doesn’t look at mine unless he knows it is about him or he was somehow involved. Otherwise he thinks it is boring.
Very good! Great post
It was a fun collaboration (cough cough).
It has been way too long! So nice to see you! Loved your list. Especially the IKEA bit. Nothing sparks a fight between my husband and I quite like assembling something.
Lol these are hilarious! 2 and 6 really made me laugh.
Glad you enjoyed it. Number 2 cracked me up too … even though it was from Mr. Jenners.
You never fail to make me laugh!!
I’m sure that Mr. Jenners would want me to tell you that 75% of the laughs on this post were due to his contributions.
Not to mention: are you ever going to clean the grill?
When I asked that very same question, I was told that the stuff on the grill helps to “add flavor.” I’m suspicious of that answer.
These are priceless, truly. OK, I don’t ever ask my spouse (who is a VP of IT for his company) – can you help me with my computer?? My goodness that makes him grumpy. People say, isn’t it nice to have a husband so well versed in computer matters to help you out. I say, you’d think so, wouldn’t you? LOL
My husband is a computer guy too. But it seems that every time I run into problems with my blog or computer, it is “outside my area of expertise.” Funny how that happens. (And funny how he eventually gets tired of hearing me piss and moan about it and then magically can step in and fix it.)
Very good and laugh out loud funny. My never, ever ask question …….. what are you thinking? I don’t always like the answer and find it hard to believe when he replies ‘nothing’. I mean is it possible that anyone can be sitting there with their mind totally blank, thinking nothing. Or are men truely capable of this?
They must be because that is what Mr. Jenners says too. I suspect they are really thinking about sex and don’t want to admit it!
I love these and agree with a lot of them. And I think Mr. Jenners needs to realize how seriously funny you are! I always know I am going to smile and laugh when I stop over here!
Let me tell you, he does not share your view of my being funny. He thinks HE is the funny one. : )
He says that he isn’t my “target demographic.” Whatever that means.
Love your list! I make the mistake of asking The Mister about my blog posts sometimes – I think I get the “it’s only funny to you, you sick and twisted individual” about 50% of the time.
I don’t see him writing anything – he said he wanted to write a response for a post that I wrote about his faults…it was months ago, I’m still waiting.
Everyone’s a critic, I tell ya.
Every time I ask Mr. Jenners to get involved in my blog, I regret it.
That IKEA furniture gets us every time….
I also think the whole “does my ass look fat in this” is a question best left unasked.
I bet IKEA has ruined more marriages than cheating.
And “Does my butt look big in this?” was my first one and Mr. Jenners rejected it as “too hackneyed.” Sigh.
Hilarious!
Well, it was 50% less hilarious before Mr. Jenners got involved … at least according to him.
These are hilarious! In my house, it is important that I be the problem solver. If I bring the problem to my husband, there will be trouble because somehow it will come back around that I caused the problem in the first place. Or he will find ten more problems on top of the original one.
Everything in my house is my fault. Everything. It is annoying. But now I’ve learned a little trick: Take matters into your own hands, mess it up so bad that he steps in and takes it away from you and then you are exempt from all future tasks.