Writer’s Workshop: If You Give A Mom A ….
by Jenners • 02/08/2012 • Silliness, Writers Workshop • 45 Comments
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It has been ages since I’ve done Writer’s Workshop but I couldn’t resist Prompt 3 this week: If you give a Mom a Blank…a post written in the style of the children’s “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” books. (Inspired by Creative Kristi). Although my post won’t be nearly as charming without Felicia Bond’s illustrations, I hope you enjoy it anyway.
If You Give A Mom A Girl Scout Cookie
If you give a mom a Girl Scout cookie, she’s going to say she can eat just one.
When she eats just one, she’ll realize she was lying.
When you go to school, she’ll eat the rest of the box of cookies.
Then she’ll feel bad because there are no cookies left for anyone else.
When she feels this guilt, she might decide to get more cookies before anyone realizes what she did.
So she’ll probably go to Target to look for Girl Scouts.
When she gets to Target, she’ll go inside to have a quick look around.
She’ll start browsing.
She might get carried away and end up filling her cart with things that she doesn’t need but really really wants.
She may end up buying almost $100 worth of merchandise.
When she’s done, she’ll probably feel a sense of giddiness mixed with buyer’s remorse.
She’ll realize that she still hasn’t replaced the cookies because the Girl Scouts are in school.
She’ll drive home, put away her Target booty and wonder why she doesn’t feel so well.
She’ll probably feel a little sick from eating the entire box of cookies.
So she’ll take a Pepto-Bismol from the medicine cabinet, and she’ll eat two of the bright pink tablets.
When she’s done chewing, she’ll feel much better and decide to do some housework. She’ll get her dust rag.
She’ll clean a closet.
When the closet is half-emptied, she’ll find a box of her old stuff in the back.
Then she’ll sit on the floor and look at everything in the box.
Which means she’ll forget about cleaning.
She’ll sit there looking through the box until she finds her old Girl Scout vest.
Looking at the vest will remind her that she’s craving more Girl Scout cookies.
So…she’ll jump in the car, drive until she finds a truant Girl Scout and buy more Girl Scout cookies.
And chances are if she has a box of Girl Scout cookies, she’ll think that she can eat just one. So she’ll open up the box and…
THE END
I think we all know how this story ends! I’ve been stalking the Green Menace ever since I spotted them selling cookies at Wal-Mart last week. So far, I’ve had to restock twice, and the rest of the family has complained they’ve barely gotten any cookies for themselves. However, they should know that when it comes to Girl Scout cookies, it is survival of the fastest (or fattest) around here.
Support the Girl Scouts! Buy lots of cookies!
Send your extra Thin Mints and Samoas to me! I’m more than happy to take care of them for you.
You can only get them this time of year ... don't miss out!
What a funny story
I can totally relate to this!
Oh how I wish they sold girl scout cookies in Japan….but they don’t, which makes me sad because it’s been a very long time since I’ve had any. Come on girl scouts! Go international! Blythe way, I love how you chose Target because that store really has a way of sucking you in and getting you to buy things you don’t need. I should know because I made 2 trips within 3 days when we were home in December. I would’ve gone more but I didn’t have a car and Jason had to cute off from going more.
Love it and love the girl scout shout out.
5 Stars as usual! Love that you can tie a hilarious story about girl scout cookies into a call to support girl scouts. Very nice my friend.
haha, great post! I just ordered 4 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies last week from a co-worker. I love the Samoas. Did you know the Keebler Elves now do an imiation Samoa cookie? I spotted the boxes at the supermarket and was offended at the knockoff! lol
It’s a classic!
Could be my favorite kids book. Gage has yet to sit through it, but one day he’ll stop randomly walking around just because he can and actually just sit. Right?
).
Somehow not one Girl Scout cookie made it into the house this year (I’m pretty sure Jason orders them from someone at work and keep them there. One year he brought them home and this mom thought she could eat just one too
I love when you do these prompts!
Wait… WHY haven’t I see any girl scouts around here??!! I must go on a hunt! Loved your story. It is VERY true around here too!
Lol. You are hilarious. I love cookies of any kind but I do love the Girl Scout mint ones. We used to have them go around the neighborhood all the time but it’s been years now since they have. You’ve now given me a craving for Girl Scout cookies.
I always think I’ll buy extra and stash them away so I can have yummy girl scout cookies in the summer or anytime…anytime always comes almost right away it seems. And every year I’m sure I can save some boxes….loll
Great post, Jenners! Hilarious!
oh so true–I’ve never been able to eat just one! I enjoyed your girl scout cookie story today.
I do the same thing with girl scout cookies, but I hide them in the back of the freezer where nobody can find them, and then slowly nibble away. I also try to search out the girl scouts to restock before anyone notices all the cookies have been eaten. Great minds think alike!
I ordered my cookies this week also my hubby did too. Last year we never ordered just got from stores. I was a scout and so were my girls.
Nice post visiting from MamaKat.
Thank goodness we don’t have this tradition over here… nor do we have Walmarts….
Thanks for the laugh!
Sadly, the Girl Scout cookies have fallen out of our Dave Ramsey-ish budget…although it has been good for my waistline! I seem to be compensating for their lose with the store brand Oreos in their place!
Very creative! But it’s all just fiction, right? I mean, you haven’t been actually monitoring moms to see what happens when we get our hands on cookies. Have you?
Funny! I have some Tagalongs on order, and those are harder to share because there are fewer in the box!
HA! That is perfect. We haven’t received our boxes yet… once we do, they won’t last long!
Tee Hee Hee! Stop following me around! I feel obligated to buy said cookies from friends’ daughters. Thank God I only have boys or my mambo would be more of a jiggle
I’m not familiar with the “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” books but I’m sure the author couldn’t have done any better. As always Jenners, a great post, not having a history of Girl Scouts selling cookies (biscuits as we call them)here in England I’m enchanted by the idea.
Jenners…you are my long lost “soul-sister”. Been there, did this, and the temporary shopping high doesn’t last long enough does it?
I can’t even buy a box of cookies, and when someone brings them into work I can’t even look at them!
I feel your pain!
You have to buy twice as much in the beginning and then put half away for your personal stash immediately!
Well I don’t have girlscouts in the area either, can’t wait till my grand niece is a little bigger. LOVE your story.
I’m still awaiting delivery of the paltry two boxes that I ordered (Thin Mints, of course).
I’m curious to try the thin mints to see if they are the same as the Girl Guide Mint cookies we have here. Somehow I doubt it!
This is too much. I laughed the entire way through it. Thanks for sharing. As for why I was asked not to link my post to OUATfan blog, I couldn’t say. It may have something to do with the fact that she takes a far more serious approach to the show than I do and didn’t really “get” my sense of humor. My cafeteria co-worker thinks she’s afraid people will start reading my posts instead of hers. Not sure why we can’t just share readers…but perhaps I should be flattered. She said it was her “blog policy” not to allow people to link up in her comments.
Oh Samoas … my weakness. You know, there’s a Fiber Plus bar that is chocolate/coconut/caramel that tastes like a more cardboardy version of Samoas. Sometimes you take what you can get!
I once bought 8 boxes of Thin Mints from the same Girl Scout and in doing so, I became something of a legend around her house. I thought I was being conservative by only buying 8… Anyway, after that, I learned to break up my order among different girls, but BEST thing in the whole wide world was when the Girl Scouts started setting up outside of Wal-Mart so I could buy a boatload from total strangers.
Now I’m dying for some, but I doubt if they’re there at 8:00 on a Wednesday night.
Mmmmm… put some frozen Thin Mints in the blender with a bit of vanilla ice cream and a dash of milk. Yummy!!
I missed GS cookies last year. January is ordering month around here and they’ll arrive later this month. I didn’t order any and maybe I won’t make it to WalMart while they’re out selling. I don’t need them!!!
What a lovely story. Not autobiographical at all, you say?
This is fantastic.
I haven’t gotten any cookies yet, but am planning on buying TONS. For support. Not deliciousness.
I do not believe you can be trusted with my Girl Scout cookies. Not sure why..just a feeling I have.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever eaten a Girl Scout cookie (didn’t they used to be Girl Guides?) — and now I may never ever, since I’m gluten-free these days…
Love your story and Jill’s comment above!
Oh, while I’m at it, I should confess that I totally identify with your inability to eat just one cookie: I bought a box of chocolate chip quinoa cookies a few days ago and ate them all in two days! (Just saw the box in my recycling bin, which reminded me.) Luckily there’s no one else in the house to complain about not getting any, since Mr. B and I have separate cookie stashes!
Jenners, you are HILARIOUS! Great idea, and it turned out GREAT!
lol Done that with ice cream too. Hey if that’s your only vice, so be it!
I love this post. Of course I am now craving girl scout cookies,thanks to you!
Lol! This is awesome. And I did just get done eating a couple of thin mints myself
But only two, I was so strong!
So, is this autobiographical?
I applaud you for fixing meals from scratch. By which I mean, purchasing Girl Scout cookies and Dreyer’s/Edy’s ice cream separately. I buy the special flavors that combine them for this time of year! ONLY to support the Girl Scouts, you understand!
Can you believe we don’t have any girl scouts in our community? The nearest group is a half hour drive away. Which means no girl scout cookies for us, which is probably a good thing. And I have been thinking of adding a note under our “no solicitors” sign that says “except for kids.” Because I don’t want to miss out on all of the candy fundraisers. There’s less guilt involved when it’s for a good cause, right?
I was thinking about the same sort of sign! Does anyone really do that? “No solicitors over the age of 18″ or something?
That would be great but I’ve never seen anything like it. We just want to discourage the carpet cleaner salesmen for the most part.