Some Assembly Required by Anne Lamott with Sam Lamott
by Jenners • 03/23/2012 • 4 Stars, L Authors, Memoir, Non-Fiction, S Titles, Spirituality • 49 Comments
Some Assembly Required by Anne LamottPublisher: Riverhead, 2012
Pages: 288
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir
Where I Got It: From LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer Program
Why I Read It: I had to read this after reading her book Operating Instructions
My Rating: 4 stars
I read Anne Lamott’s book about her son Sam’s first year of life (Operating Instructions) back during my first year of motherhood. So, in some twisted and narcissistic way, I had it in my head that her son Sam was about the same age as my son—as that is when I became aware of him. (It could also have been a persistent “mommy brain” notion that never quite left me.) So it was with a bit of a shock when I saw Lamott’s new memoir, Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son’s First Son. “How could little Sam possibly have a child?” I marveled to myself. Of course, Sam isn’t 7 like my son. He is 19. (Still pretty young to be a father but certainly within the realm of believability.) Always wanting to find out “how things turned out” in any story, I eagerly started the book—excited to catch up with Anne and Sam’s life since we last spent time together.
Within a few pages, I was reminded of just why I love Anne Lamott. She has a brutal honesty about herself and her life that is both self-depreciating, amusing and authentic. She writes from her heart, and she isn’t afraid to show us all aspects of herself—from her neurotic and selfish sides to the spiritual and open searching soul she works on so assiduously. Her writing is never fancy or condescending. Rather, it is heartfelt yet with a sly irreverence and joking tone that always lets you know she is aware of her frailties and flaws. I’d love to have her as a friend.
The subject of her son’s first son is fraught with all kinds of emotional minefields that challenge Anne in a myriad of different ways. Not only does she struggle with the idea becoming a grandmother at the age of 55, but her son’s complex and volatile relationship with his girlfriend Amy adds a tricky dimension to Anne’s relationship with her grandchild Jax. Anne falls hard and fast for Jax and has clear ideas about how things can and should be for this young couple. Yet Amy is a strong-willed young woman who decided to have Jax regardless of what anyone else felt … and she has her own ideas about how things will be. Worse yet, Amy’s roots are not in the San Francisco area where Anne and Sam are deeply ensconced. As Amy struggles with her identity as a mother and her need to be with her own family, this threat of Jax being “taken away” hangs over Anne’s (and Sam’s) head like a piano held by the thinnest of threads.
When a young couple who are not established in the world or with each other (Sam is still in art school when Jax is born and Amy is staying with Sam in his tiny apartment; they have a volatile relationship and had broken up several times before Amy became pregnant) decide to have a child together, it isn’t easy for a mother (including one who pays many of the bills) to simply step aside and watch them. Throughout the book, Anne struggles with how involved to get, how much she can say, how much support to offer. It is a tricky balancing act that requires all of Anne’s spiritual maturity to sort through—and even then she is plagued with moments of needing to control things that overwhelm her and threaten to engulf the precarious new relationships developing between everyone. Yet with her considerable support system, Anne manages to work through her new identity as grandmother and forge a kind of peace with the role.
In addition to getting Anne’s point of view (which includes everything that is going on in her life during this year, including a trip to India and a book tour), the book also includes sections written by Sam Lamott about how he is viewing fatherhood at the tender age of 19. It was enlightening and heartening to get a glimpse inside Sam’s psyche and his obvious delight and love for Jax. It is very clear that Anne and Sam have a mother-son bond that is solid and tightly woven with strands of love, understanding and respect.
Anne Lamott has led an interesting life (having overcome alcoholism, family dysfunction and taken on single motherhood when she was financially and emotionally unprepared) and managed to come through with grace and good spirit. I love how she is utterly herself (including her trademark dreadlocks) but is so completely relatable that you feel like you know her already. Her writing has a directness and beauty to it that is characteristic of someone who is writing from their authentic self. Besides this book, I’d also recommend Operating Instructions and her excellent writing book, Bird by Bird. Her memoirs on her spiritual journey (although Traveling Mercies is the only one I’ve read so far) are also well done. Although I’ve read two of her novels, and found that I prefer her memoirs more.
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I think I need to read Operating Instructions and then maybe follow up with this one.
They would both work alone but I think reading them in order would work better.
I know not everyone liked this memoir, but I loved her honesty and obvious love of her son and grandson. I reviewed this over on the SheKnows website, if you care to read my thoughts.
I would love to read your thoughts on this. I appreciate her honesty … and no matter how much someone might not like the memoir, her love for her son and grandson are obvious.
I only ‘discovered’ Anne Lamott in the last year or so reading some of her fiction. I really want to read her non-fiction and your description of how she writes and how honest she is explains why. This book sounds extremely powerful. I cannot imagine a mother watching her child possibly make mistakes with his life. I also like that Sam contributes to the book, too. It sounds like they are very close, Anne and her son. Amy sounds a little difficult and a bit of a drama-queen!
Love your review, Jenners! This book is going on my wishlist!
For whatever reason, I think Anne Lamott’s memoirs are tons better than her fiction. It is kind of weird but I never jibed with her fiction writing. Their mother-son dynamic is really interesting.
I read Bird by Bird years ago and could probably stand to re-read it. It looks like I’d be doing myself a favor by reading Operating Imstructions first. I have not really been drawn to the mother books/memoirs I have. I guess when my reading time is so limited I’m looking to escape the mothering for what few minutes I have
I’ve been thinking of rereading Bird by Bird myself. And I hear you about the mothering thing … though in the beginning, I wanted to read all types of mothering memoirs to find out if I was the only one who was struggling at times!
I think I might read this one
It’s really good (and short — I know you like short). She has this easy way of writing that I envy.
Oh that would be good. I have never read a memoir before- which is kind of a sad fact
Memoirs can be so fascinating and relatable. Sometimes I love them because they make me appreciate my life. Other times, I love them because I feel like I’m meeting a kindred soul. By the way, saw The Hunger Games today. Totally rocked!! I thought Jennifer Lawrence made the perfect Katniss.
I read Operating Instructions when my son was a toddler and I remember really appreciating her honesty about being overwhelmed. I was a single mom when my son was 3, until now and Lamott’s book really resonated with me in that respect. I’d love to read this one and hear how her son has become a mad. Things have come full circle.
I could see that Operating Instructions would really resonate with you. It is neat to see things come full circle and hear from her son today.
She just sounds so real, and when you said she was neurotic and self-depreciating , I knew I’d enjoy her style of writing. Sounds fabulous, and sounds like I need the other works too.
She is really hard on herself in the way that we all can be and she puts it out there for the rest of us to read. I admire that. I don’t know if I could write as openly and honest as she does.
I am still mad at myself for giving away my copy of Bird by Bird. She’s wonderful.
You should be mad at yourself!!
Bird by Bird is a keeper. I still have my battered copy!
I’ve read all of her memoirs (like you, I read Operating Instructions when my first child, now 18, was less than a year old). I’ve also read all of her novels, and the memoirs are much, much better. Odd that people like her guide to writing fiction so much (Bird by Bird) when what she’s best at is speaking to readers in the first person about things she’s lived through. Her writing is a bit like blogging, don’t you think?
Yay … another Anne Lamott fan! Isn’t it weird how much better her memoirs are than her novels? I was surprised by that. And you’re right … her writing is like blogging. She’s be a most excellent blogger.
Thats nice that you read her other book, and now this one to see how everything turned out. I saw this one on amazon vine, but I didn’t realize it was a memoir. This does sound interesting. The author sounds like she has a strong bond with her son.
It was neat to check in with her again and learn more about how her life is turning out. I think their bond is so strong (in part) because she is a single mother.
Ooooooooo…..I just saw a write up about this book in a magazine and thought it looked interesting. Your reviews are always much better tho!!!!
So what you’re saying is that a magazine should hire me to write their book reviews!? Do you hear that People and EW magazine? (They are one of the few magazines I can think of that even bother to discuss books.)
I enjoyed your review a great deal since I didn’t have quite the same reaction as you did to her story. Very well said!
We did come at this book from two different ends of the spectrum, didn’t we? I love when that happens. It makes book blogging so interesting and makes you look at books from a different point of view.
Sounds like a good read. I like authenticity in a narrative.
She is a very authentic real person. You get such a sense of it in her writing.
Oh wow, you’ve just given me a new author to immerse myself in…I love the idea of Anne working through her own self issues as her young son works through his new grown up issues, especially since the girlfriend plays a big part in the story as well…
I too just realized we can use the emoticons…I’m such a goober!!
The emoticons are pretty fun aren’t they?
And Anne Lamott’s memoirs are really top-notch but her book on writing, Bird by Bird, is one of best on the subject I’ve ever read. Definitely make time for it.
I have a friend that I think I’ll give this book to. thanks for the tip.
Like your friend, I imagine there might be quite a few people out there facing similar circumstances who might benefit from this book.
I love the premise of this book because it sounds like it is written from an utterly original point of view, and I find that SO refreshing.
She is an original voice .. but such a relatable one. I always find myself nodding at some of the things she says and struggles with.
This does sound so interesting, and I imagine that it would be so hard for Lamott to keep things under control for both her grandson and son. It was probably a really hard book to write for her, but you make her style sound so affable and intimate. I need to read this. I am off to see when it can be had!
She is affable and intimate. Despite us being from such different places, her writing just speaks to me. She is so HUMAN. She expresses it so well — how frail and full of faults we all are but how we can keep trying to be better people. If you’ve never read her memoirs, you’re in for a treat. Her book on writing though is not to be missed!
I listened to her interview on our local NPR station the other day. This grandparent/grandchild love must be a universal feeling – because I felt exactly the same way she did about how perfect our grandkids are, and how much joy and love there is in the relationship (and none of that pesky responsibility that makes it seem like a job).
She and Sam are in St. Louis tomorrow for a signing – I’ve been thinking I need to go…
I hope you were able to go to the signing!! I bet it would be really wonderful to hear both of them speak. And I imagine that you would enjoy her quite a bit. I suspect you guys might have some stuff in common in your lives.
I thought Bird by Bird was full of beautiful prose, and actually you have inspired me to go back and get that one out and reread it. I need some inspiration for writing better prose! :–)
I do too! I actually got my copy back out and was rereading parts of it. It is one of the best books on writing I’ve ever read.
I kept thinking how familiar all this sounded until I hit the name Jax and it came to me. I read about this in a magazine somewhere – Reader’s Digest? Guideposts? – I can’t remember.
(I just realized we can use the little emoticons you have shown above -duh 
)
You crack me up about the emoticons! I think this book has been getting a lot of publicity … lots of people seem to have heard about it or seen mention of it in other places.
It sounds like the writing of this was almost a form of therapy for Anne.
Yes … her memoir writing is very therapeutic for her I imagine. She’s very open and honest and relatable. It ends up being a form of therapy for the reader too.
I loved this book too and also prefer her memoirs to her novels. (I’ve read three of the novels and all the memoirs.) I just saw both Lamotts at a signing last night, and Anne was exactly the way you’d imagine her to be from her books. That made me very happy.
Oh how cool that you got to see both of them at a signing!!! I’d love to meet Anne someday. Glad to hear that she was just like you imagine from her books!! That makes me happy to hear that.
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I have just received this on audio from the publisher…going to have to book it up and give it a listen!
I listened to a sample on audio as I was curious to see what Anne Lamott sounded like and I ended up thinking I was glad to have read it. I wasn’t sure her voice had enough “color” in it. But I hope the book works for you!!!